Crash and Burn

I was going frantic again the next morning when there was knocking – no pounding on my door. Everyone wanted to know what I did. So I spend more and more time explaining. Neglecting myself. Missing every alarm on my phone. And the more and more that I missed the worse things got. I hadn’t had breakfast. No lunch and by dinner time Dorian dragged me away and locked me in my room. I was a mess. So bad I couldn’t even cook. I called Dorian and he said he’d take care of it. So I crashed in bed and prayed to the universe that I could see my dream guy and explain things. Fix anything that might be wrong and maybe reschedule. Fuck!

But the moment I stepped into the dream and thought of him the nightmares started. I was snatched from the room and I knew I was crying.

I heard the door open and my eyes snapped open and I saw Dorian staring at me. His eyes were wide and his voice was too quiet. “That’s never happened before.”

I wrapped myself in the elements and my body did the rest. I felt my skin knitting together. Dorian’s eyes grew wider as he saw what I did. “You did that for Kai?”

I nodded. “I figured it would help now.” My back had been shredded in those few moments it took Dorian to get me food and bring it to me.

Dorian nodded. “We will talk about this after you eat. Maybe tomorrow you and I will sit down and draft a White Paper. No more talking to people. They don’t care about you. Only what you can do.”

I gave him a slight nod and opened the brown paper bag. “You saw Marco?”

He shook his head. “Marco brought it to me, himself.”

I gave Dorian knowing grin, “Bought fricken time the two of you hooked up.”

Dorian blushed, “It’s not widely known knowledge.”

I nodded, “Who am I going to tell?”

Dorian rolled his eyes. “Eat and sleep. I’ll stop by again tomorrow. I’ve set the door to shock anyone who knocks so if you are expecting visitors do tell them not to knock.”

I smiled. “Thanks Dorian.”

For the next few days Dorian and I worked together. And every night when I went to sleep the nightmares started almost immediately. Whenever I tried to think about my dream guy, the nightmares came. The other notable difference being the blue eyes. I was torturing myself.

I tried again all day on my birthday, but nothing but nightmares. I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I wasn’t sleeping. I was aching all the time. I was falling deeper and deeper and only Dorian seemed to notice I wasn’t leaving my room.