Therapy on the Road

Michaela and I had a decent breakfast. Who knew what we were going to have for lunch or dinner that day, or when. So we both ate big. I was surprise by the amount she put away. She reminded me of every other guy I’d known in the Academy. Not that I hung out with many of them, but I watched – a lot.

Small talk until 9:30 New York time which meant it was close to lunch time in Colorado. The time difference was going to make me go bonkers. But I knew that I was the time my appointment was. I couldn’t exactly call Margo at 7:30 in the morning to keep my appointment on my time.

So the small amount of anxiety that I had from that piled on top of all the other bullshit I was deal with. Michaela watched me as I waited for Megan to pick up. She frowned, “You might not get signal up here.”

A smirk splayed across my lips just as Megan picked up, “Dr. Silverman’s office, how can I help you?”

“Hey Mia’s mom, I have a phone appointment today.” I said calmly then looked at Michaela, “My friend made sure I could stay in touch.”

Megan laughed, “Sage, darling?”

“Yes, ma’am. My partner in crime here said I might not have signal.”

“Ah, that makes sense. He is very good with electronics. He isn’t allowed to touch my phone.” Megan said. “She’ll be ready in a moment, can I put you on hold?”

“I’d rather not listen to the crappy music, can you just put the receiver down?”

She laughed, “Of course, Nox. How are things going?”

“I flew. I dreamed. I had sex. Twice. My days are grand since leaving.”

Megan chuckled, “Mia is going to want to hear all about this I’m sure.”

“I’ll give her a call when I have a chance. Did you hear the good news?”

“Which is that?”I asked.

“I’m going to have a son.”

“Jace finally proposed? He’s had the ring for like a month. Kept asking me, ‘you think she’ll like it.’ Did she?” I asked.

“She loved it.” There was click on the line, “Dr. Silverman is ready to talk to you Nox, I will set up your next meeting same time and I will talk with you next week, sweetie.”

“By Meg. Give Mia my love.”

There was a click and Dr. Margo Silverman answered with her sweet melodic voice, “Nox, how are you doing?”

I took a deep breath and relaxed into the passenger side seat and closed my eyes imagining I was in her office, smelling the ocean side. “I’ve been better.”

“Tell me about. Where ever you want to start.”

I started at being called into Dorian’s office and finding out about my father. I continued into the preposterous dinner with both my parents and my abrupt departure. I kept rambling through sex with Sage. That was when I glanced at Michaela and she ducked her head. she was listening to my conversation and was ashamed. I just smiled at her then turned my head back to rest against the headrest and closed my eyes. I continued through my Ad Aetatem and throw flying. “I had a dream I’ve not had in a while. He was there. He’s always there. Always different but always the same. I think he was the vision in my Ad Aetatem too. The blue eyes striking me as familiar. Always the same eyes.”

“Your mystery boy?”

I chuckled. “Yeah. I don’t even know if he’s real. How much of my dreams are real and my own imagination.”

Margo sighed. “It’s all based on something, they always are Nox. You’re nightmares are based on your reality.”

“That no one believes. But that’s okay. I had a dream that didn’t hurt me. He left me wanting more.” I grinned. “Which leaves me at meeting Henry. A cute boy who was a first time flyer next to me. And first time acting on a guy hitting on him.”

“Nox…” Margo started.

But I interrupted. “I told him I didn’t do relationships. Told him he deserved better. But he never said no. Kept saying yes every time I gave him an out. He made me late, but it turns out I wasn’t expected for a few more hours after I arrived. Met Michaela.”

“How did you get along with Ms. Donovan?”

“Like aces. Which is unusual. She came on to me right about the time we met. And last night she walked out of our shared motel room naked. You know I can’t resist a girl who’s giving it all up with ease.” I could see Margo rolling her eyes. “But she was rather insistent on no protection. I know most guys would jump at going bareback, but…”

“It didn’t help your anxiety did it?” Margo asked.

“No. After she went to sleep I sort of panicked and got lost in it in the shower.”

“Are you okay now?”

I took a deep breathe. “I dunno.”

“If this is going to become a thing Nox, you need to tell her how it makes you feel.”

I smirked. “I kinda just did, she’s sitting next to me.”

“Wait, you aren’t alone?” Margo’s voice was shocked.

“No ma’am. We are driving out on my first case – a suspected marionette.”

“Nox, that’s not protocol.”

“I know, but I can’t stop driving for an hour to talk with you alone. And she’s a telepath so it’s not like she can’t pick it all out of my head anyway.”

Margo sighed, “Nox. It’s time. I want you to keep a journal for me, of your anxiety. Maybe it’ll help while you don’t have the comforts of home on your side. Make sure you do your yoga everyday. And as always keep your nightmare journal.”

I nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I will talk to you next week.”

“Talk then, Nox. Be safe.”

“Always.” I said as I hung up.

Michaela laughed, “Your therapist didn’t like me listening in.”

I shrugged. “It’s not protocol.”

“I heard. The no condom thing really set you off?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I have issues – a lot of them, and breaking habits is very difficult on me. This whole thing is putting undo strain on me. My shields are tighter than usual so the anxiety doesn’t leak out. Which means I’m feeling it 10 times worse than I usually do. My schedule is shit and I know being an adult means more responsibility. Everything’s just happening too fast and I’ll crash until I find my new happy medium.”

“How long you think that will take?” She asked glancing at me to gauge my reaction.

“I dunno. A few weeks at least.”

Michaela laughed, “Just Great! I have to deal with an emotional partner.”

I stuck my tongue out at here, “You’ll hardly notice. I’m good at hiding it until I’m not.”

“Like this morning?”

“Yeah. Expect that every morning for a while. I need to go for a run and do yoga every night it’ll help. And then again in the morning after the nightmares. Set my day right. I need some semblence of schedule if you can keep to it.”

Michaela nodded. “8 to 8 we are the road. We’ll start looking for places at 7, and then we can stop.”

“We can use the GPS to find places.” I said.

She laughed, “Yeah I don’t have one of them new fangled things.”

“I do, on my phone.”

She shrugged, “Yeah okay.” She didn’t sound like she was for it but she didn’t say no either. My role as navigator just got easier. Though I think Michaela’s turn might get more difficult. Most Venatori didn’t do well with tech. I was sure Michaela was no different.

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