We drove to a cabin in the woods. It was high in the mountains up roads that would be better suited for horses. If anyone came down the road while we were going up someone would have to back up until the road widend and that was going to be miles down not sure about up. My heart started to race the closer we got. And I knew we were getting closer to my mother’s cabin because I started recognizing things. The rock face I remember looking down and watching my mother climb up for practice. I got dizzy once and fell from the heights but my mother caught me. I was such a little thing thing. My fear of heights came from that moment. I’d nearly forgotten it.
My breathing was ragged. I was going to have a fucking panic attack right here.
“Mich I have to stop.” I manage to get out before I be opened the door and nearly fell out down the side of the mountain. If Mich hadn’t grabbed my jeans waist band I’d have tumbled to the ground in one foul swoop.
Michaela managed to pull me in and I closed my door. “Just hold on, Nox. We are almost there.”
I wanted to puke. My body was so far out of my comfort zone I was lost to the pain and memories. I heard Micheala’s voice through my fog, “Focus on something that makes you smile.”
In that moment there was only one thing – my mysterious blue eyed man who haunted my dreams. He’d asked where I was and he never showed up. I don’t know why I had expected him to, he was just a dream after all.
The car lurched to a stop and Michaela got out of the car and opened my door heaving me out with ease. She let me walk mostly under my own power. She marched me straight up to the porch with the wooden rocker I remembered listening to my mom sing to me from. She didn’t even bother knocking as she pushed open the door. The familiar scent of pine, cigarette smoke and patchouli oil wafted out and I pulled away from Michaela and barely made it to the edge of the porch to hurl my guts out.
A strange voice spoke from in front of me, “Michaela, who’s your weak stomached friend?”
Mich’s voice was completely neutral. “Jesse, this this Nox Sétanta.”
I didn’t look up to see his expression as he responded, “Oh.” His voice said he knew my name and he wasn’t happy to hear it.
I looked up just in time to see two identical boys wrapping their arms around the man’s legs. One of them exclaimed, “That’s Mommy’s other son?”
I lost the rest of my contents of my stomach.