The train back into the city was 30 minutes of us flirting silently. I leaned back against our seat and Alex spoke in my head. Little whispered things he wanted to do. I thought of things I wanted him to do to me, what I wanted to do to him. Not all of the thoughts were about the bedroom which surprised Alex. One thought was of just us lounging on the couch doing whatever in our own little worlds but together, me curled up in his lap reading with a headset on and Alex watching TV, or at least that was the thought he injected over top of mine.
He asked me What do you want the most of all?
The question was so sudden, so out of left field that I could barely stop the blur of thoughts that the suggestion had invoked. Images of a family, of a kids playing in the background, barbeques on the roof, a fleeting image of Alex with a baby were the last thing he saw before the train announced our stop. “Our stop.” I whispered trying to break the mental image. Trying to keep him from running away at my over-the-top feelings. It wasn’t the first time I’d had the thoughts. It wouldn’t be the last time, but it was the first time there had been someone else there with me.
We didn’t exit the train closest to my place, since we had groceries to buy first. I thought about all the things I needed and Alex was smirking, “Don’t forget the ice-cream. I’m sure I can find another use for it later.”
My body shuddered at the thought for more than one reason. The idea of the cold sticky food stuff running over my body sent me into a minor panic, but the the thought of Alex’s hot mouth all over my body chasing the cold made me groan inward but it escaped as we walked up the stairs to the street.
Alex was smirking, “You really are too easy.”
“You have no fucking idea.”
“Actually I think I do.” Alex tapped my head with a smile.
“Yeah yeah.” I stuck my tongue out at him and opened the grocery store door. I didn’t have any of the fixings except eggs, and if I used eggs now I’d run out for breakfast so I picked up more eggs. I could make a full out breakfast for Alex, though he said he wanted pancakes. It was rather ironic I was still having breakfast for dinner tonight.
My normal go to dinner I canceled before leaving Ant and Ryan last night. They knew I had a date. While I didn’t expect him to be spending the night, we seemed to get interrupted long before we got that far, and we ended up fighting more often than not. I didn’t want to have to rush away either. Ryan was all ‘you go’ and Ant was just smirking at me. He could read me almost as well as Alex could.
We had a basket and Alex grabbed a few things from the shelves and put them in the basket I was carrying. I put what I needed in. Alex dropped in a carton of vanilla ice cream. “We need to go to a liquor store too.”
I raised my eyebrow and he smirked at me. “I’m not drinking another one of those god-awful beers.”
“You didn’t need to drink it!” I frowned. “I asked you what you wanted.”
“Well this time I can say I want a whiskey.”
“I could make you an Irish coffee. Or a White Russian. Though I don’t have either vodka or Bailey’s on hand. My dad would thank you though.”
“You drink with your dad? I thought you didn’t know your him.” I didn’t remember ever telling Alex that. And it wouldn’t have been a curren thought. But I let it go. It wasn’t like it was a secret.
I shook my head. “I don’t drink much anymore, but he tends to have something in his coffee when we have brunch on Saturday.”
“You two close?” Alex asked I detected a hint of jealousy?
“Not really. We are trying. Kai’s trying to make up for lost time, trying to be a better parent to me than he was to any of his other kids. Mostly because he knows how much I hated my father as a child. He feels like he should have been there.”
“Did you have any close relationships growing up?”
I shook my head. “Not really.” I said as I grabbed the last of the ingredients and we headed for the checkout line. “I had Sage’s family, and Mia’s mom. There was Dae’lin and Dorian who sent me off to other instructors who I consider almost family. Margo my therapist.” And then there was the dream guy. The one in which I had only found to lose but he’d been apart of my life since we were little. But I didn’t remember him. I had a theory on it. The same theory I had for why I always woke at the same time – the fucking nightmares made everything else incomprehensible.
“But no one really I called family.” Not really.
Alex paid for the groceries. I started to say I could handle my own groceries but he had cash out and was already paying by the time I realized I should pay for my own things. We stopped at the liquor store, Alex bought whiskey and vodka and Bailey’s like I was running some sort of bar or something. It wasn’t the cheap kind either. And he bought a bottle of white and red wine. I had to ask as we headed towards the AU building, “Why do we need all that?”
Alex smirked, “Maybe I plan on getting you drunk and having my way with you.”
I bit my bottom lip and grinned through it before I spoke in a low voice, “You don’t need me drunk to have your way with me.”
His blue eyes were a fire and I wanted nothing more than to give him whatever he wanted. But the last time we went there he pressed me on my needs. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go there so soon. Specially after earlier.
Alex shifted his shoulder into mine as we walked, “It’s so you have it for when I come over, so you don’t have to go out and buy anything. This way you have what I like on hand.”
“So all for you?” I grinned.
“All for me.” He snaked a hand around my waist. “I’ll do my best not to make things worse, alright?”
I nodded. “You didn’t do anything wrong – you haven’t.”
“I did enough. I’m not very good at this.” Alex paused searching for a word. “.. this dating thing.”
“We dating?” I asked playfully.
“If you want to put a label on it.” He said as he opened the door to the lobby of the AU building and I stepped through the door.
I saluted Atlas as I walked past and we headed for the elevator. But Alex grabbed my hand, “How many floors is it to your room?”
“Too many to walk with groceries.” I said.
“I doubt that. I bet you take the stairs two or three times a day. How many floors?”
I sighed and relented, “47 flights of stairs.”
Alex blinked at me and then he spun me around, “No wonder you have such a hot ass.”
I felt the heat rise to my cheeks and I bit my bottom lip.
“Holy fuck, he blushes.” Which only made it worse. “Is that going to be a thing now?”
I shook my head. “No, you just called attention to it, which makes it worse.”
Alex wrapped his arm around me, “We can take the stairs until I get tired, then I’ll have to ask for the elevator.”
I shook my head, “We can take the service elevator, I don’t freak out quite so bad there.”
“Why’s that?” Alex asked.
“Cause I can’t see the ground getting farther or closer.”
Alex grinned, “To the service elevator then.”