Margo was right about one thing I was going to throw myself head long into work. And I was likely going to break down later. I’d had a rough few days and I could feel it in the cracks of my mind. There was going to be a hell of a downpour of everything at some point. But not now.
All of Naomi’s possessions were sitting on my bar like they belonged there. Someone from Dae’lin’s office dropped them off. I saw them earlier but I didn’t want to deal with it. But it was work. Her things were all neatly stored in a plastic storage bag. I took everything out as I searched for her cell phone. On it was a number of her contact. I only had to find it.
As I was putting her things back in the bag, the cell phone had sunk to the bottom and everything was neatly laid on the bar, there was a knock at my door. I waved my hand and the door opened. I didn’t turn to look, I new from the smell it was Dorian. He always smelled like cinnamon and vanilla. I felt the tears falling and Dorian came in and shut the door. His voice was soft as he wrapped his arms around me, “Margo told me.”
I closed my eyes and sank into the feeling of the man who was the closest thing I had to a father growing up. He held me and I cried. There was no thoughts, no self pity, no anxiety just safety in his arms. And he knew it so he held me.
I think we stayed like that for an hour before Dorian shifted uneasily. I sighed, “You can go. I’m okay. I know you have to get to work. So do I.”
“Are you sure?” He asked.
I nodded. “I have to go open a safe, and have to get IT to track the numbers on the phone so we know who’s on there.”
“Why don’t you go see Sage?” Dorian suggested.
I shook my head. “I can’t. If I ask him a favor, he’ll want something in return and I can’t. I can’t do anything right now Dorian.”
He nodded. “Alright. But IT will take forever you know this.”
“I know. I’m sure I’ll be able to figure something out. I can always call Jack.”
“I didn’t think you could do favors?” Dorian said.
“The good think about Cari’s favors is she likes to save them for when it’s necessary. Or I just feed Ant.”
Dorian shook his head. “You should call Anthony and Ryan and spend a few nights there.”
I shook my head. “No, that’s exactly what Alex expects I’ll do. Go running to my vampire boyfriend and let him help me through my shit. Because it’s all about me.” I took a deep breath and sighed. “I should let it go, but I can’t.”
Dorian chuckled, “You will Nox. You always do.”
“I didn’t with my Dad.” I confided.
“That’s different Nox. There is nothing to forgive, he didn’t know. You had to get over years of built up preconceptions. And Kai is a hard man to love. You’ve seen him with his other children, and you know how hard it is sometimes for my father to love the man.”
I laughed a little. I’d known Kai my whole life. He was like an Uncle to Dorian. And we’d had dinner many times when I was a child. He was the perfect hunter. My idol and my father. It was hard to get past the latter. But I was doing better, and so was Kai. we were working on it. Dorian gave me one last hug. “Call me if you need me, Nox. Any time.”
I nodded. “I will Dorian. Thank you again.”
“My pleasure son. Go follow your leads.” He said as he walked out the door. And I was alone again.
The world wanted to press in on me but I pushed back. Alex had accused me of not standing up for myself. He was wrong in that. I choose my battles carefully. There was only so much strength in me. I picked up the dragon’s cell phone and turned it on, thankful when I saw the logo of her provider flash on. At least it wasn’t dead. I didn’t have a charger for that type of phone. I hated when companies used proprietary plugs.
The wallpaper of Naomi’s phone was a picture of her son. He was flying a car through the air in Central Park. it made me smile. How was I ever going to take care of a kid, I couldn’t even take care of myself. I was such a mess.
I had to fight my own inner demons and push them away so i could focus. I pulled up her recent calls and scanned through them. I sighed as I recognized one of them fucking Val. At least I didn’t have to go to IT. Valentino Sprague was a werewolf who sold secrets for a price. He was shady and I disliked dealing with him. But I knew that if he was dealing with Dragons Dom didn’t know about it. And that was about to change.
I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and noticed that it was still on do not disturb from last night. A torrent of emotions flood my mind. All the feelings from the night before tied up in one small setting on my phone.
I couldn’t push it away. I didn’t want to. I wanted to feel it all even the pain. I just wanted to say I’m sorry again. Tell him I’d try harder. I wiped the tears that fell from my eyes and decided I’d have to call Dom after a shower. It’s not like 20 minutes was going to kill the lead. Val didn’t even know I knew he was selling secrets or himself to the dragons.