I was the gentleman. I opened all the doors and I kept Dee warm with an easy pattern woven around us. She didn’t seem to notice there was no chill and the breeze when it swept down the wind tunnel that was New York City streets didn’t phase us. I asked, “Where we going? And are you letting me pay?”
She looked up at me with those beautiful hazel eyes. The flecks of gold shining in the fading sunlight. “I’m not telling and no you can’t pay.”
“You are taking all the man out of this huh?” I teased.
“Both Dev and Sage said you like when you don’t have to make decisions.”
I sighed. “Yeah, but it makes me feel weak when a woman does it.”
Dee stopped and pushed me towards the wall where I stood pressed against it even though she hadn’t actually moved me there. It was implied in her actions “You are not weak. You are the strongest person I know. The most loving and caring and so willing to sacrifice for everyone else. I don’t want to hear that from you again.”
“Yes ma’am.” I said without prompting and Dee looked at me with a curious face. She was evaluating me. Evaluating my kinks and my behavior.
Her face lightened and she offered me her hand. “You ever had a mistress?”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t typically submit to women. It’s a mommy issue thing.”
She laughed. “A mommy issue thing?”
“Yeah. Abandoment and being called a monster, kinda gives you issues.”
“And you’ve not worked through them yet?”
“How would you like me to work through abandonment when my go to move is to fuck you and leave you? I don’t let people close. Those that I do I get attached to too quickly and leave because of it. And I am a monster in my mother’s terms. I kill with my power. I hurt, I maim and I do horrible things to others and myself.”
I sighed. “Don’t Nox me. I’m aware of my own self depreciation. I know I’m not what I said. But right now this isn’t going to help. I don’t want a dom Dee. I don’t want a top. I just want to be loved. I need to feel like I’m apart of this. Right now I’m drowning in how close you, Sage and Dev are. How close you are to my boys.”
“They aren’t just your’s Nox.”
“They are on paper.” I said. “Yet Sage has done more parenting than I have to those three. He’s been with you and Dev for months before he introduced you to me. Plus there’s the fact I was in a coma not once, but twice where the three of you bonded over me.”
I shrugged. “Can we please go eat?” I’d like to get this date over with, is what I thought, but I didn’t say it out loud. I didn’t want to make Dee feel bad.
She sighed. “What do you want to talk about?”
“How did you and Dev meet?”