I hadn’t expected Sage in my office. I hadn’t expected him to go down to his knees in apology or to publicly display his desires. Or to fulfill my wants so openly. It’s not like my office wasn’t completely see through. Everything was a surprise.
I went back with Sage to the house after pulling my pants up and putting my t-shirt back on. Sage was grinning at me as we walked and I tugged it over my head. “What?” I asked.
“I’ve always liked the fact that you aren’t shy about your body. Even your scars you don’t hide. Now you have a perfect body and that strangely beautiful tattoo. It’s always changing and it creeps me out a little. But you still aren’t shy about it.” He wrapped his arm around my waist, “I know you hide your back, but it’s not because you are ashamed or shy. I get it. You didn’t want to see the look in someone’s eyes. Kinda like the look I get when I tell them my parents died in a car crash.”
I nodded. “Our beginnings weren’t that great. But we made it here.”
Sage chuckled. “Wherever here is.”
Inside the house was quiet as expected the kids were in school, Jin was standing in the doorway and released a heavy sigh. “I thought I would have to interrupt your last meeting.” She said polietly ignoring Sage’s blush. “You are going to be late for your appointment with Dr. Silverman.”
I sighed. “Okay. Let me get my hoodie.”
Sage shook his head but it stopped when we passed through the kitchen. “Dee?”
I looked where his gaze fell and saw our fourth sitting in the corner of the cabinets crying. Sage and I were both kneeling beside her, Sage asked, “What’s wrong?”
There was cooking utensiles everywhere, she’d been baking. “What did Nick say?” I asked probably with too much heat in my voice as Dee winced at the anger.
“He said I was hurting all of you. Like the demon was. I didn’t mean it.” She begged as she got on her knees and pleaded for her forgiveness.
I hugged her tight against me and Sage pulled in behind her, holding her hostage between the two of us. I asked, “Do you want to go talk with Margo with me?” I asked Dee.
Her eyes looked up at me. Red rimmed and tear stained but furious that I would make such a suggestion. “It doesn’t mean you are crazy to talk to a shrink. It helps.”
Dee and Sage both rolled their eyes. “We get enough therapy from you.” Dee said.
I sighed and stood up pulling out of her grasp. “Fine. I have an appointment to keep.”
Dee started crying again but I kept walking. “Please, don’t walk away Nox.” Dee begged.
“You act like I’m the one who needs help around here. Like I’m the crazy one because therapy works for me. I’m crazy because I talk about my shit bothering me. I’m crazy because I try to make you talk about it. See where it’s gotten us… No where. Nick tells you you hurt us, you apparently believe him. Otherwise you wouldn’t be so upset about it. But the minute I suggest you getting help for your problems. I’m crazy. I’m done Dee.” I turned back again. “I’m just can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep trying when you won’t help yourself.”
She didn’t get off her knees she crawled to me. Sage was bowing his head submissively and I realized my power was bleeding everywhere. I reined it in but Sage kept his head bowed. “Why are you still being like that Sage?” I asked. I was fucking up all my relationships one by one. Every fucking one…
“I’m ashamed.” He whispered.
“Exactly what you said. I’m that. I think you are crazy because you keep making us talk, keep trying to fix things or at least know what’s wrong so we can fix them. You tell me I’m being manipulated and I know I am. It’s who I am. Real People I’m not good with.”
Dee was still clinging to my legs like a lost puppy. I sighed and knelt down beside her and pulled her against me. “If you won’t talk to Margo let Cari find you someone to talk to Dee.”
She mumbled something against my chest but I couldn’t make it out, I had to pull her away from me, “What?” I asked.
She looked up at me with her hazel green eyes still red rimmed and tear filled. “Nick mentioned a Tony. He helped Il Cane.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I can ask Tony to come talk to you. I don’t know what he’ll do or say, his power over Cari is a lot more about love than advice.”
She wrapped her arms around me. “Don’t go.”
I sighed and sat down on the cold tile of the kitchen floor and looked back at Jin. “Can you tell Margo I won’t make it. Ask her if we can reschedule this weeks appointment?”
Jin nodded and there was a bit of a concerned look in her eyes. “Anything I need to be aware of Nox?”
I shook my head. “No, but I really need to see her.”
“Of course. I’ll make it as soon as possible.”
“Thanks.” I said and I pulled my girl closer to me. Sage came over and wrapped his arms around both of us.
He mumbled in my ear, “I can’t believe you stayed.”
“This is more important. I just wish Dev was here.” The mention of Dev’s name set Dee off into raking sobs. And that was how we spend the rest of our morning.