The room was small that I waited in. A comfortable couch, faux leather and you sank in deep. It was like wrapping up in a leather pillow. But it smelled like so many other people I wanted to gag. I hated when smells overpowered everything. I had to take a few deep breathes to calm my anxiety. There was no smoke or bad trigger smells, but they were all so overwhelming I had to sit on the edge of the couch while I waited.
Across from the couch was a comfortable chair, but it wasn’t the same sink into the leather. It was clearly a therapy room that much I was familiar with. Suicide watch – I hated it. I was not going to be allowed knives or string, or pencils and pens or any sharp objects. I was surprised they weren’t drugging me so I couldn’t touch the elements. I wove four balls – one for each element – just to test my theory.
I juggled the four colored orbs in the air when the door opened. I dropped them and the weaves shattered on the floor leaving nothing but wisps of magic to spark away. Standing inside the opened door was a blond haired blue eyed woman I hadn’t seen in several months. I moved as far from the door as physicall possible and still remain on the couch.
Dr. Margo Silverman’s black wire frame glasses were perched on her nose as always. She set down a candle and waved her hand and a single flame wicked on the candle and there was an instant smell of vanilla in the air. She sat her breifcase down next to the chair while I stared at her. She took out a manilla folder and set it on the couch across from her. My name was on the tab.
There was a yellow notepad and a black pen in her hand as she took her seat. I swallowed hard. I hadn’t seen Margo in months. My heart was racing. My palms were sweating. I didn’t know why I was afraid.
Margo looked at me and frowned. “Nox. What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know.” I said. And Margo’s frown deepened, but she didn’t say anything, she let me processes my feelings. But I wasn’t having any. I was blank, empty.
We sat in silence for several minutes. “Is talking to me difficult.”
I shook my head but I couldn’t speak, my throat was dry, my hands still shaking.
“I’m only here to transition you to another therapist.”
“I don’t want another therapist.” I said.
“But you aren’t coming to see me. You clearly need one.” She sighed, “Why did you jump?”
“I was saving Garrett. I wasn’t trying to kill myself.” I could feel the fury rising again. How could she think I would kill myself. “You of all people should know I didn’t try to kill myself.”
Margo smiled at me. “Why would you save him, Nox?”
“Because he was innocent in that moment. He was duped by the demon who had possessed him, he took him over the edge and left Garrett as he fell to the ground.”
“That doesn’t explain why you would save your tormentor.”
“I’m nothing without Garrett’s teaching.” I whispered.
“You would have found the same footing, Nox. We all know it. You know it.”
I shook my head. “No. He taught me control. He taught me the same control he has. Dae’lin doesn’t have it, Margo. I’d be like every other Venatori out there. I’d be nothing without him.”
“And you risked your life for a man you despise.”
I nodded. “I’m a better man than he is.”
Margo smiled. “You can see why so many people think you jumped to kill yourself. Garrett died, Nox. You didn’t save him. You were on the bottom. You are here because they can’t fathom how you survived.”
“I can’t help with that. But I didn’t try to kill myself. I was willing to die for my principles, but I didn’t go in trying to kill myself.”
“Nox, Your friends are worried about you.”
“What friends?” I asked with venom.
“You have friends Nox.” She said but she made a note. “You were telling me about a boy before with sapphire blue eyes. And there is Dorian and Jace and Mia. They are all your friends.”
“So you’ve been talking with them?” I asked.
Margo frowned, “I’ve not spoken to anyone other than Dorian for months. They fall to your favor of avoiding me. I wouldn’t let Dorian avoid me.”
“So how do you know they are worried?”
“I saw your friends waiting in your room. I beleive your records show you had Anthony Giovanni, Adrian Sheridan, and Domonic Olmos among the visitors. I didn’t speak with anyone other than Dorian. But I remember your blue eyed boy and he seemed very close with two others.”
I nodded. “Dev and Dee.”
“Yes. He’s been dating them for a while. I’ve met them. I like them.” I grinned at her.
“I’m not sure I understand Nox.”
“Sage is a voyeure. He wants more than I can give him. He’s happier with Dev and Dee in our life. Dev has been helping me. He’s got the same talent Sage has that allows me to sleep. Dee is Dev’s strength and I don’t really know her, I kinda missed our date.”
“Why did you miss your date?” Margo asked. She made a note on her legal pad.
“I was in a coma.”
She laughed and scratched out her note. “That’s a good excuse.” She looked at me and tapped her pen to her bottom lip. “Nox. Tell me how you are doing – really doing?”
“I’m fine, Margo. I’m talking to you which is an improvement if you ask me.”
She smiled but it was sad. “What are your thoughts on what happened at your birth?”
“My thoughts on you killing my sister?” I asked. Margo nodded. “You killed my sister. I had a fucking sister! And you killed her! She was a baby. She didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But the Venatori would use the child.”
“Who the fuck does the Venatori not use? You killed the wrong one!” I tried not to snap but I failed miserably.
“It’s tradition.” She said as if that saved her from the consequences of her action.
“Fuck tradition!” I stood up to walk out. I tried the door knob but it wouldn’t budge.
Margo’s voice was quiet, “They won’t let you out till the hour is up. Sit back down Nox.”
I turned around and stared down at the woman who I’d thought of fondly for most of my life and I was staring at a stranger. She didn’t look up at me but asked another question. “What do you think of the fact that The Dragon controlled you?”
“I don’t know. What should I think? I broke his control. I’m not a fucking dragon.”
Margo looked up her eyes were full of fear. “You aren’t a dragon. You aren’t born from a human dragon pairing. You were controlled by the oldest dragon known to be able to do that. You broke that control Nox. You don’t think anything of that.”
I shrugged. “I’m fucking special, what can I say.”
Margo sighed. “You don’t beleive that.”
“You are right, I don’t beleive I’m special. Improbable yes. Special no. Everything has an explanation. We just don’t know it.”
“The dragons are afraid of you Nox.”
I smiled. “Good.” There was an electric buzz and I turned the door knob. “I don’t want to see you again Margo. I don’t need a therapist. I’m doing fine without one.”
Margo shook her head. “It’s me. Or Dr. Watson. I can transition you him, but it woul work better if I stayed on, Nox.”
“Whatever.” I said as I strod away.