It was still early and the gym was full of Venatori doing their thing. The large of the gyms in the building had several rings and Kai and I had to wait for a little while before we could get in one. Which was okay, it allowed me to stretch and even though I got strange looks do some yoga.
My father sat next to me on the mat while I moved through each pose. “Most of us don’t do what you do.” Kaid said as stretched his legs and groin muscles.
“Most people aren’t half human who get their ass kicked either.” I reminded him.
“You are a better fighter than most of the people here. Why do you think that is?” Kai asked.
“Because I have to work hard at what I do. Same with everything else I do, Dad.”
“Nothing comes easy for you. It’s a constant reminder that I should have been there for you.” His voice was full of sorrow and I could tell he wanted to say more, do more, and be more than I was letting him.
“What would you have done, Kai?”
“You wouldn’t like men for one thing. That’s all on Dorian.”
I sat down hard when Kai blamed the one person who was there for me in everything. “Dorian has nothing to do with why I like men. I didn’t know Dorian was into men until after I had crushed on Dylan and kissed him. Dorian confided in me then that he felt the same. Just like I didn’t make Nick gay. He was gay before I met him. I was just the first boy he got caught with.” I stood up and sighed. “This is why you and I don’t get along. You piss and moan about how I would be different if you had been my father. I got news for you Kai. I like the man I became.”
I turned and walked away from my father. I could feel his eyes on my back and then in only a few steps my father was up and grabing my arm. It had been silent and if I hadn’t been waiting for it I might have found myself on the floor instead of flipping my father over my shoulder and looking down at him lying on the mat. “I might have been a different person, Kai, if you raised me. But I don’t think I’d be a better man because of it. Dorian let me think outside the box. He encouraged it.”
“He didn’t care, that’s why he encouraged it. He didn’t care if you became a fag or the outcast. He only cared about his image, being the only man to wrangle a resentful child. You are just part of his image.” He spat out the words like he hated the youngest Vega. And I suppose he did when it came to me.
I sighed. “Dad, Dorian is a good man.” I knelt down and whispered above him. “Dorian cared more than you ever would have. You think Nick, Marius or Tobias think you were a good father. Even Iris and Adam have issues with you, what makes me so different than them. They all thought you were a lousy father. You weren’t there for the children you had. Don’t think you would have made me a better person. I’d be just like them, ignorant to the world outside. I wouldn’t know what it meant to actually protect humanity. They don’t know what it feels like to be human. They can’t even fathom the idea that not all supernatural creatures are alike. They are people just like us. I love Dorian like a son should love his father. You? I barely know. And we always get into these arguements. I want to love you like Dorian. I want to take you from that dark place where I kept my father. But you keep closing the door, slamming it in my face. Be a good grandfather to the boys. You will never be a good father to me.”
The room had gone quiet while I said my peice to Kai. Everyone was looking but trying not to look. I stood up and walked away to the locerk room to get my things. There was not going to be any sparring today. And I knew if I stayed I was going to get the shit kicked out of me. It would probably still happen.