Talking Myself Into It

I watched as Nox dumped the contents of our coffee, “Don’t forget to feed the cat. You won’t be home for a while and I think she’ll get mad if you don’t feed her.”

He smirked, “Are you chatting with Fee?”

“Maybe.” I grinned back.

He cut some chicken and poured some milk them looked at me “Anything else I need to do?”

I shook my head with a smirk. I pushed some of the fallen strands from my face, “Let’s go.” I held up the paperwork, “Tell me where to take this so we can get it done and over with.”

“Just need to drop it off with Dae’lin.” He said like it was obvious.

“So back down stairs.” I nodded and headed to the stairwell. “I think I remember the way.”

Nox gave me that smile and took my free hand. I pulled my fingers from his hand and slid it around his waist. I wanted to be close. And I think he needed me to be even more. “Pretty boy, I’ll catch you when you fall. I meant it.”

Nox pressed a kiss to my cheek and pulled away as we started down the stairs. He was missing the warmth and so was I. I knew where I was going, or at least that was what he thought anyway. When in reality I was reading his mind where to go. He was so easy to just lead through like I knew what I was doing and his mind and memories did the rest for me. I knocked on the door frame without waiting for an answer dropped the packet into her inbox with a smile “Nox said he had to drop this off here.” He stood just outside the door watching me. I felt his eyes on me.

She looked up with a frown and then her eyes drifted to the packet lying in her inbox. “You got him to sign?” She sounded more surprised and I wasn’t really sure if she was surprised I got him to, or that he signed it. It hadn’t been difficult, but then again I couldn’t read her to see what she thought. It was a very strange feeling standing and talking to someone and not knowing even a hint of what they were thinking.

I shrugged. “It didn’t really take much.” I gave her a wave. “Was nice meeting you.” I added as I took his hand and we left. I knew Nox hated the elevator but there was no fucking way I was taking the stairs the rest of the way down and I told him so. I pulled Nox to the back of the elevator and I leaned against the back wall. Nox pressed himself against me making me react in all sorts of ways. I wrapped my arms around his waist and watched as he bit his bottom lip in that shy innocent way he had a habit of doing.

He knew exactly what it did to me and he did it on purpose. He confirmed, “I’m okay. ‘Specially if you hold me like this.” His thoughts were content and I was more than happy to keep him that way. I didn’t want to have to deal with another panic attack. It was becoming part and parcel to the whole gig.

We were a block down the street before nox asked, “Where we going?”

I was starving, but I had no food. “Grocery shopping. I found you have food to feed me there days in a row. And my place has no food. But we have to make a stop after we get the groceries. I told you I’d give you a taste of me.”

He licked his lips and it went straight to my cock as I imagined my words did for him. “I think I’d like that.” Me too I thought.

Nox held on to my hand casually but he was afraid I’d run away. I could only smirk at the thought. I distracted him with food, “So, what do you want to make?”

“I don’t know what you like.” He grinned at me like it was some secret or something, Or maybe it was because he had paid some attention, “Sort of pancakes and a well cooked steak.”

I didn’t care, I was starving. “Surprise me?” I asked?

“You really want me to surprise you?” He asked.

“You were taught by a three star Michelin chef.” Not that I had any clue what that meant, but it was in his thoughts, “Dazzle me.” I smirked at him.

“Alright, then we are going the wrong way if I’m going to dazzle you.”

I flung up my hands and shrugged. “Lead the way, chef.” I flung us around, Nox was such a child sometimes. Though I couldn’t exactly say much I was the one doing the flinging.

We stopped at the butcher and picked up some chicken and then the farmer’s market where Nox picked up some vegetables.

“Is there a store close by where you live, so we don’t have to carry it all to our next stop?”

I nodded. “Yeah. That’s where I was heading.”

“We can go to your stop then pick up the rest of the groceries.”

“Alright.” It was as good of a plan as any other I could think about. And it gave us a good reason to leave the posh apartment.

We walked for a little ways before we were inside the Lincoln Center where Brent called home. On the 14th floor I opened the door with my little speech prepared, “This is not home. This is a place I use to pretend I have money.”

“Pretend?” Nox asked but as he stepped inside he was awed by the space and the exuberance of it all.

“I mean, I do have money, but I don’t like to live like this. This place is just too much.” I said to explain his question.

“No offense, Alex, looks like the Easter Bunny vomited all over the place.”

I smirked. “Brent is fashionably gay.”

Nox looked at me like I wasn’t telling him the truth and asked, “You are playing a gay guy? I mean it’s not exactly a stretch but fashionably gay? You mean stereotypical, pastels, clothing, shopping, the works?” He didn’t believe I could do it. I should show him… but he was right this was so not me.

I nodded. “Yeah. This is his place. A lot of money went into making it look like Easter Bunny vomit.” I laughed a little. It really sorta did.

“Sorry.” Nox apologized, “Why would you waste money on it?”

“It’s mostly in rent. I had to make a few alterations and the clothing. I really want to burn that shit, but still working the case so…” I said. I didn’t really want to explain what I was doing with Janice. Because that would be reiterating something I’d already told him once. He knew all about Kate in the dream. Somedays he even remembered, he remembered on the anniversary of her death. Which always surprised me when he offered up a big hug and said, ‘I’m here if you want to talk about it.’ Though he never really knew what it was, just that it was a bad day for me. But I knew Nox wouldn’t ask, it was only reaffirmed in his thoughts, so I added, “You can ask you know.”

We walked into the kitchen and Nox whistled. He was impressed. And it made me smile inside.

“You’ve never cooked here have you?” He said with great sadness.

I shook my head, “No, and if I’m lucky neither will you.” The comment made Nox pout and it was the cutest fucking thing I just wanted to pull him him close and kiss the pout away. I pushed him up against the stone countertop island, “I don’t want to ruin it for the next person.” I said with a smile. “I’m only here temporarily.”

The thoughts running through his head were the same as mine as he nodded, “So you’ve never christened the house?” He challenged me.

We couldn’t stay here. I really didn’t want Nox here for long. This was not me. He wanted honest I could give him a little piece of that. So I smirked and backed away and showed him the rest of the place and the last room was my bedroom. After he saw it I asked, “You ready to go. I’m really hungry.”

Nox nodded, but his words didn’t sound like he wanted to leave, “What, no hanky panky in your room. You show it last and nothing?” He was trying not to laugh as he walked out of the room.

I couldn’t help find the humor in it. But Nox was tempting my last ounce of reservation with that little sway of his hips. I breathed out slowly, “Fuck Nox, you keep it up and I’m going to be eating you for dinner.”

He turned around with a perfect smile for me, “Is that a challenge?” he asked.

I grabbed him and pushed him up against the wall with a growl and then there was a knock on the door and the front door squeaked reminding me I really needed to tell the front desk. Janice called out “Brent?” Fuck! I growled again but this time it wasn’t playful.

“Fuck!” I said quietly, “Stay here.” I ordered. I saw the thoughts of staying exactly as he was pressed against the wall. I had the urge to say good boy, but I didn’t as I backed away from my pretty boy to go deal with the annoyance Janice had just be come. I ran my fingers through my hair and I put on Brent’s guise and headed for the other room. “Janice, darling, what are you doing here?”

“We’ve been calling since last night, where have you been?” She said as she kissed both of my cheeks. Janice walked from the living room into the kitchen and if she turned around she’d see Nox. And I knew he hadn’t moved and he wouldn’t until I said so, fuck him and his submissive streak.

I sighed and beckoned him to come to me and he did so. I felt him standing by my side silently. Janice turned around and gasped. “I didn’t know you had company.” Her eyes looked over Nox and I growled under my breath. He’s fucking mine. “Slumming it Brent?” she asked after returning her gaze to mine.

Nox groaned and started for the door. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Before he was more than a step away from me I grabbed his hand. “No, Janice was leaving.”

She had the audacity to complain, “I just got here.” No fucking shit sherlock. Get out! I wanted to yell at her right then. She was going to fuck everything up. She didn’t want to go so I took her by the arm and dragged across the floor. “Janny, you were leaving.” I whispered for Nox’s benefit but it sounded like it was just for her. Sometimes being with a fucking Venatori had its perks. “I can’t get him in bed with you hanging around.” Though that was a complete lie. I’m sure I could easily get Nox in bed. I knew he’d comply But fuck if I was letting Janice lay a fucking finger on him.

Janice laughed, “You can just tell him what to do, he’ll do whatever you say.” She looked back at Nox and all sorts of memories of things she’d seen ran through her mind. Things she wasn’t supposed to see. Thing she was hot for but had never had him. Thank fucking god. “I’ve seen some things…” She said.

“I don’t care what you’ve seen, or what you think you know about him, he’s mine until I say otherwise, got it?” I growled at her

Janice sighed, “Fine, but when you are done we…”

“You’re pushing your luck Janny. Time to go.” I dragged her a little more.

But she sighed again, and looked at Nox with all too knowing smile. “Well… it was nice seeing you with your clothes on Nox.” She said curling her finger around his hoodie string seductively “though maybe you could take some style tips from Brent.” She turned back to me forgetting all about Nox, “By now darling, call me!” She said as she sashayed out the door.

When I turned back Nox was standing still, “You okay?” I asked.

He sighed, “Yeah. I think so. You were with her weren’t you?”

“When?” I asked. I’d been with Janice a lot. I didn’t think he meant sex, and I wanted to groan when his thoughts were remembering yesterday.

“Before laser tag.” He said.

“Yeah, why?” I nodded, there was no denying it, I saw his thought swimming with all the confirmations.

He shook his head, “I just smelled her on you before, is all.” And he didn’t let me say anything as he kept on talking, “It’s okay. I’m okay. I just wanted to know if it was her.”

“It was her, her current co-dom and their sub I was with. Lindsay was new and I was making sure they took care of her. Things got carried away. I didn’t have sex with then, they just…”

Nox interrupted. “I don’t want to know, Alex. What Brent does, I don’t want to know.” Nox closed his eyes, took a deep breath and then opened them again. He felt more centered as he begged me, “Can we go now?”

I nodded, “Yeah.” I felt like shit but he was moving past it. I could too.

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