We hadn’t set a specific time. We probably should have when we last talked but
by the time I thought about it the day had come and I was actually nervous. I
surprised myself when I woke up feeling a bit nauseous. But a good run had fixed
it and I didn’t worry about it. And for once I had nowhere to be except at that
club. I’d set aside a few days afterwards too just in case we hit it off that
I killed time watching a movie then when it was time to get ready to go I pulled
on a pair of black jeans and the t-shirt I’d promised to wear. I hadn’t worn it
since that day, and when I unfolded it I was hit my the memory of my pretty boy
crying. Except he wasn’t the boy, he was the man, and he was grieving over the
loss of his mother. I knew what he was going through that October, knew it had
been hard on him and there had been times he just wanted to be alone. Even
though it hurt to do so, I left him alone. I’d found peace on my beach. And I’d
gotten to know my father better too. He was still dead, but the journal told me
a lot of things, and just when I needed to hear it. Like it was fucking fate or
The last night me and my pretty boy had been together had been hard work but it
had been worth it despite the shocker at the end. He still left me, but at least
it had been of his own free will.
I hadn’t realized I’d been standing staring at the mirror. I was ready to go. A
pair of tight black jeans and the t-shirt. My hair was a bit too long so I
spiked it into a faux mowhawk and I called it good. Everything else was tucked
into my pockets that I’d need. I was ready to go.
My place wasn’t far from the club. I wondered where he lived. Maybe in the same
building? Or somewhere else…
The club was hoping, it was Friday after all. I headed straight for the bouncer.
With a little nudge with my words, “Can I get in without waiting?” I passed the
big black man a 50 and he easily parted ways without blinking an eye. There was
a lot of rumbling in the line, but one person wasn’t going to make a difference
for them. They were right there anyway.
I sat down at the bar. It was the only well lit place, every place else was dark
with multicolored lights and the dancefloor was packed. I ordered a drink,
“whiskey – from the top shelf, no ice.” And soon I was looking out sipping my
drink waiting for my pretty boy.
I watched and waited and I saw way too many other guys wearing the same or
similar t-shirts. Since when did comic books become popular. I didn’t have long
to dwell on it before a blond with green eyes and a smirk on his face came up
next to me. Set his elbows on the bar in front of him and ordered, “Sam Adam’s
Irish Red.” Then he turned and looked at me, the smirk grew wider, “You looking
for the man of your dreams?”
The words made me look at him. I knew this wasn’t the guy I had been with. But
the words were too close and I the doubt crept in. “You aren’t him.” I said
flatly hoping the man would go away.
But he laughed. “Yeah I know. He sent me to tell you he’s not coming.”
I think I stared at him harder, for too long before he laughed again and I was
frowning and I wanted to ring his neck. If this was a joke. “He say why?” I
asked as calmly as I could.
The man was human, he was nothing. “He doesn’t want to see you.” I smirked. The
lie on his lips was apparent. That wasn’t the message he was supposed to give.
He’d wanted his friend to bring me to him. And even in his friends mind his name
was like a whisper lost on the howling wind. What. the. fuck.
I nodded, “Well you tell him that I’ll see him later.”
The blond man with the green eyes stood up straighter and frowned, “I said he
doesn’t want to see you.” Now I knew he was jealous but this was just catty.
I sighed, “Just tell him. He’ll understand what I mean.” I said as I left the
bar. Well fuck! There went my plans. I don’t know I didn’t think of getting the
directions of the place where my pretty boy was, but it was too late now. I was
already half way home. I’d see him in my dreams.