Green Eyed Monster (Alex)

The last two times my pretty boy called I was in the middle of things. I
couldn’t get into my trance while I was driving to my next hot spot. I could
have pulled over but I was in the middle of rush hour traffic and it wasn’t
feasible. The second time I was in the middle of a meeting with Poet and he
wouldn’t be happy if I zoned out. So this time I didn’t hesitate when I felt his

It was different this time. He was there in a guise he’d used before, tall and
lanky with a well groomed beard and those gorgeous brown eyes. He was wearing
his usual jeans and sarcastic t-shirt, today’s proclaimed ‘Normal People Scare
Me’, and a worn grey hoodie. I rarely saw him in anything else. He wasn’t a kid
which usually meant he was remembering me. He gave me a shy smile. My pretty boy
was never shy, “What’s wrong?”

He took a deep breathe and moved across to the bed and flopped backwards
sprawling on the bed like he was tired. Maybe he was really tired.

“I did something tonight.” He said as he stared up at the ceiling his fingers
jammed in his hair.

I smirked at the comment. “So did I. I had dinner, drank some wine…“ He lifted
his head and gave me a look that said he was serious. “No? Do you want to tell
me about it?”

“Not really but this is something right?” He asked sitting up and looking at me.
“I don’t do relationships. But I feel this is more than my usual thing and I
know I’ve been fucking around with Mich, but that’s just sex. She wants a kid
and the Venatori and I didn’t feel bad about it. This was different.”

“How?” I asked. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know how it was different. I knew that
he’d been sleeping with her. He was attractive after all, and powerful. Even I
could feel he had that kinda power and there had been many other women and boys
he’d slept with over the years. Why was this one different? Okay so I did want
to know I admitted to myself.

“It’s another guy. I wanted it.” He fell back again exasperated with himself. I
dug into the memory and saw the vampire that had bitten him. The memory was
foggy with lust and desire and the power. Not only his but the blood suckers
too. I really hated vampires almost as much as the Venatori. All high and mighty

He thought he was cheating on me? Was that the case, and with the girl he

“This is more isn’t it, Alex?” He asked.

I didn’t hear what he’d said. I couldn’t have? I looked at him and frowned.
“What did you call me?”

He looked at me and frowned with a shrug. “I don’t know. What did I say?” He
asked concerned. The worry about how I’d react to this event seemed to have
disappeared behind the fear that he’d said something wrong. Though I was about
to tell him he’d done everything right but I know I hadn’t told him my name in
the recent past.

There was once when I tried. Well more than once. I tried for months on end to
get him to remember my name. To remember me. But it never worked, I had to
introduce myself every time. I ended up giving up and left it nameless from then
on, but he says it now? I know I didn’t tell him.

He looked at me with those big brown eyes and I was torn between feeling bitter
about the encounter and the realization that even after all these years of
seamlessly forgetting me he remembers my name of all things. But he hadn’t said
it consciously. He didn’t remember calling me anything.

I shook my head. “Don’t worry about it pretty boy.” I shoved my fingers through
my hair and wanted to just leave, but I didn’t think he was done. He looked sad.

“I’m not mad.” I took a step closer and then was sitting on the bed. The dream
often did things I didn’t intend but had been thinking about doing. I wasn’t
ready to be this close to him, to smell him feel the warmth of his leg next to
mine even though we weren’t touching at all. I knew I wanted to.

“Why?” He asked.

“Why what?”

“Aren’t you mad? Isn’t this more?”

I sighed. “More than what? You want me to yell at you for living your life? You
think I’m living like a monk, waiting for you like some born again virgin?” I
asked with a smirk but fuck me if it wasn’t nearly true.

He growled and threw himself back against the bed again, the mattress bounced
and his leg shifted against mine. The warmth was distracting as he rambled on
about hating this, hated not knowing what to do, why he felt this way. I let him
talk, I always let him talk, he could talk for hours sometimes and I didn’t even
need to prompt him. It was amusing some of the time watching him yammer on about
whatever. And then he’d look at me and apologize, like he started to now. “I’m
sorry. I’m rambling I’ll stop now.”

“I don’t mind listening.” I said staring off across the room at the picture of
the bare tree in a strange landscape. It was always there, never changing,
always the same. And he started talking again, which I really didn’t mind,
except for the tiny fact that there were better things he could be doing with
his mouth. And it would distract him from his self imposed guilt trip too. I
turned towards him, went to lean down and kiss him but was stopped by the bruise
on his neck. How recently was he bitten for it to be bruised still? I couldn’t
make one stay more than an hour…

Fuck! I had to get away from him. As much as I scrambled his wires, he had the
same effect on me. Standing up only helped so much. He didn’t move but I felt
his disappointment on the air. The smell of the room changed, he needed
comforting, the scent of apple pie baking in a nearby kitchen rose and the smell
of cinnamon and sugar wafted everywhere.

I sighed. “Look. I don’t know what this is. You don’t either, so don’t start
feeling guilty we’ve haven’t even met yet.” It was a complete and utter lie and
he knew it.

“So I should go and just let him fuck me? Nothing’s wrong with that picture?” He
growled. From worry to anger and then we’d stomp off. It wasn’t the first time.
But it was the first time since he’d started to remember me. We’d never had a
fight he remembered. I could be fuming for days and he was oblivious, all smiles
and charms the next time he dreamed.

But now he could remember. Unless he got ripped away before I woke him. So I
just wouldn’t wake him. I looked at my watch and saw it was almost time.

I turned back towards him and the dream did its thing so I was on the bed, my
knees on either side of his hips, his wrists in my grip over his head as I
glared down at him.

His breath had quickened as I spoke. “Of course there’s something wrong with
that fucking picture. Of course I don’t want you to want him. Why would you even
tell me that?”

He didn’t answer but I heard his thoughts as clearly as if he had spoken out
loud _because I won’t lie to you._

“Well maybe you should. Or at least… I don’t know, not tell me you want to
fuck someone else! But since you’re all about the honesty, here’s some from me.
I am mad about it, I hate knowing that you were… that you wanted…” I
couldn’t say it again. “I’m jealous as fuck okay? And still all I can think
about is fucking you.”

I knew exactly the reaction he was having. I saw the bruise on his neck and he
noticed my gaze. It was like he he read my mind as he exposed his neck to me,
lifted his chin and turned so I could suck a new mark on his neck. He groaned
underneath me and pushed against me, I whispered against his neck, “Hold still.”
and his body went still and he stopped trying for friction. His body strained
under mine as I sucked and bit at myfavorite spot, just opposite of the
vampire bite – the irony maybe it wasn’t, had my pretty boy planned it?

He was so pliable right now, I could do anything, say anything, ask anything and
he’d be mine. But there was no time left. I felt the thing from above me, move
through me and snatch my pretty boy away. Took him to wherever the fuck he went.

I hated when that happened, especially since when I asked him about it he just
shrugged. His mind was blank and there was nothing. Why doesn’t he know?
Sometimes he was so easy to read and times like that, he closed off so tight I
can’t hear myself think.

There was no point waiting, he never came back. Plus the room still smelled like
apple pie and I was starving.

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