Bigger Than We Thought – Future Talk

I made pancakes. I had intended to make them for Drake in the morning. I had more than enough to make a few for Sage before he had to get to work.

I got lost in the food preparation and my own thoughts. Thoughts of Sage and life and the fate of humanity if we didn’t stop The Dragon. Everything was a jumble when Sage stepped out of the bathroom patting his hair dry with a towel. He was fully clothed much to my disappointment. But he was gorgeous none-the-less, and I watched him as he slide into one of the bar stools with a bright smile. “I’m sorry about that.”

I pushed a plate with fresh pancakes and some macerated berries on top to Sage with a glass of orange juice and coffee. “It happens. Just the universe telling us we were moving too fast.”

Sage took a sip of his new coffee and smiled. “You believe, that don’t you?”

I nodded. “It confirmed my own hangups. I want so much more than sex, Sage. I’m afraid if we go that far too soon, it’ll be the only thing between us.”

“I get it.” Sage said with a smile. “One night stands have been the only thing you’ve ever done. I will try to take it slower. It’s not everyday that you meet this great guy who is not only hot, but who is great in the sack and who wants to be more with you.”

I grinned. “Who said I was great in the sack?”

Sage laughed. “Alice says you were passable.”

“So that translate to great for you?” I picked up an already cut piece of Sage’s pancakes with my fingers and popped it in my mouth.

“Alice has a tendency to sleep with men who like other men more. Her gaydar is way off. Those that we’ve both slept with over the years I’ve always found to be much better than she let on. So I am making an assumption but for a guy who travels in Adrian’s circles you have more experience in such things.”

I asked, “So have you slept with Alice?” I still didn’t remember his friend much.

Sage nodded. “A couple times. Nothing recent.”

“Does that mean you prefer men more?” I asked curious. I knew my answer to the question was yes. It had always been that way.

Sage shook his head. “I have no preference. I don’t have sex with my partners right away.”

I frowned at his answer. Not so much that he didn’t have a preference, but that he was pushing sex between the two of us. “So why is it different with us?”

“I could ask the same of you?” Sage smiled as he continued. “It’s been five days. It’s been fast in those five days. But we’ve spent time apart in those days, and time together each and every day. If this were one of my normal relationships, we’d have spoken maybe once or twice in between dates. We’ve had five dates. Normally that’s just over a month of seeing each other every weekend for a few hours. The sexual tension has been high since that first day. That it took us five times before either of us asked the other is kinda amazing.”

Sage smiled and said, “So tell me why it’s different for you?”

I sighed. “I hadn’t expected to pick you up Friday night, I hadn’t expected to pick anyone up. I had every intention of dancing until Jace and Mia were ready to go home and then call it that. I didn’t plan on meeting a hot guy who played the game as well as I did. And in the end you won because you left me wanting more. You took my means of hooking up that night and you left me your card in its place. I kept your number. If it weren’t for Mia, I probably wouldn’t have called you. But I’m glad she sent you that text. It made me get off my ass. But that’s why you are different. But I’m different too.”

Sage asked, “How so?”

“I want to settle down. I want a family. I know I have to do my duty – to create an heir. But it’s more than that. I want my own family. I want someone to love me unconditionally, forever. I’ve never had that before and having a kid guarantees that. But I don’t think it’s enough. I want someone to love me.” I turned around and packed things up to go to my father’s place. I hated bearing my soul to strangers. Sage wasn’t a stranger, but he wasn’t Margo or Dorian and I didn’t know how he’d react to any of that.

A hand found my belt loop, and a finger hooked it turning me to face those beautiful blue eyes. “That’s why you think this is moving too fast isn’t it? Because that’s what you want in this relationship? You want a life with me?”

I looked down. My voice was low as I spoke. “I can’t see life without you. And it scares me to think I’ve grown this attached to you this fast. And that in the end it’s too fast for you. I don’t want to face the piper someday. I’d rather do it now when it’ll hurt less. Because it’s going to hurt no matter what.”

Sage pulled me closer and tightened his grip on me. “I’m not going anywhere. Too fast or not. Like I said earlier, this is not scaring me away. I have my own fears.”

I whispered in his ear as he held me tight and I wrapped my arms around him tighter, “Like what?”

Sage laughed in my ear. “My fear is I can’t keep your attention. I don’t have the experience you do.”

I pulled away from Sage and grabbed his chin to make him look into my eyes. “I like that you haven’t done what I have. No, I love it. Because if you want to explore it, I get to explore it with you. We can learn what we like together, and what we don’t. Sex is just that, Sage, it’s just sex. I want more than that with you.”

Sage smiled. “See, we have our own hang ups about this relationship. I will slow down. I want to explore everything with you.”

I returned the smile. “Good.” I nipped his neck, and the kissed it softly before pushing him away with a wide smile. “What did your Dad want?”

Sage sighed, “It was work related. I told him about you coming by, he told me to help you. Said it could be linked with what I was working on.”

“Ah.” I grinned at him, “Did you tell him he interrupted things?”

Sage blushed, and I chuckled as I packed the rest of breakfast away. “No.” He said. “But I need to get home to work.”

I nodded. “I figured. I’ll see you soon.”

Sage grabbed me by the waist and spun me towards him and kissed me thoroughly. We broke apart breathless. Sage smiled. “That’s to hold us over while we work.”

I chuckled. “I don’t know if that will hold us over, but it’s a start. We might have to refresh it at lunch.”

Sage grinned. “I will see you soon, Nox.” He walked around the bar to the bed and pulled on his shoes. I watched the fine movements of his fingers tying the laces. He moved slowly. He knew I was watching. Sage looked up at me as he stood up and headed for the door. He pulled the foil packs from his pocket and grinned before sliding them back in. “We will use these someday soon.”

I bit my bottom lip in anticipation. I looked forward to that. Sage stopped on the other side of the bar before my front door and leaned on it. “One more?”

I laughed, but I closed the distance to my side of the bar and leaned across. Sage met me half way and the kiss was soft and wet. He pulled away still leaving me breathless. “I will see you later.” Sage left with a grin. I would see him soon. I had time to grab a shower and before I needed to make Drake and my father breakfast.

The Last Phoenix (in order)

Comfortably Numb (5/12/2018)