I’m getting no love today either. AJ spent 5 hours making dinner for the week. Which means no time for me. I should pout now, but AJ danced around listening to loud music so I can’t complain too much.
Tomorrow I’ll be back to normal.
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AJ is doing the family thing. I’m highly jealous. One day I’ll have this of my own. So saying that I’m keeping this short. I’m out.
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Why do all this prompts always put into the same realm of thinking. It’s a struggle to go beyond the same rants and things I typically go on about. So instead I’ll touch upon my knowledge of my race, and those in my world – a little lecture so to speak on what each race is capable of.
There are several different races, species, or whatever you want to call them. Let’s start at the beginning and move our way down the chain of origins.
In the beginning the creator created 4 races – Humans, Dragons, Primeval Vampires and Aeternus.
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I made my way to the bar on the other side of the room. I would not get drunk, but I wanted a beer none-the-less. However, I never made it across the room before a hand was grabbing my arm and pulling me into the hallway that lead to the bathrooms. “Whoa, whoa, I don’t even know you.”
The small blonde looked up at me with a frown of disgust etched into her face. “What?” She looked down the hall to the line of women coming out of one door and paled. I laughed. She spluttered, “No. Not.” She stamped her foot into the ground and glared up at me with green eyes that were neither pretty nor one of those disgusting colors; they were just green. She could use a little makeup if you asked me.
There must have been a smirk on my face. “Wipe that smile off your face. This isn’t a game, Nox.”
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This prompt invokes images of the Wizard of Oz and Somewhere over the rainbow for some reason. Might possibly have to do with AJ watching Emerald City on TV. Now I’ve gotten side tracked with what AJ’s making me watch… Though I will say this at least it’s all things I would watch if I watched TV myself – the whole monster hunting, paranormal, post-apocalypse stuff. Right now Shadowhunters, Emerald City, Supernatural and currently The Magicians are right up there. AJ watches other things, but these ones I like. The whole superhero thing would be Sage’s thing.
Who’s Sage? Well that’s where the someday comes in. Someday you will get to meet him. However, I did actually already share about him. I’m hoping to push my story forward to where I can freely talk about Sage and be in the here and now where right now I’m fighting myself to be pre “The Last Phoenix”. A lot happens in the story AJ is showing off so why not read the first scene. Tomorrow #2 will come out.
I suppose my picture represents a little more too now that I think about it. So to recap someday soon I’ll be more me than I am right now? Someday soon I’ll be where I feel I am because of The Last Phoenix.
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When I was five I had one stuffed toy I truly adored. I’d had it for a while – a gift from my Nanny on my third birthday. Back then I had a big fascination with dragons – both real and imagined. Mulan was my favorite movie because of Mushu the dragon back then. His go gettem attitude was something that I still admire today. For most of the movie he remained positive – but everyone has their set backs, and when it came down to it he was still a true friend.
I clung to Mushu on the most devastating day of my life – the day we all found out I was Magnus – not that it should have surprised anyone. The probabilities of my birth guaranteed I would be Magnus. My mother hated me from that moment forward. Mushu got me through the thick of it. Until my little stuffed dragon burnt in a fire I started while trying to save him from my bully of a roommate.
Mushu was never replace – I was an ward of the community. I was only given necessities – and a comfort object was not viewed as a necessity. So I learned to use other things to cope and comfort. Eventually, after I found the carnal pleasure of flesh it was the only comfort I took in others. And a tool I used to insure people didn’t get close to me. A lonely life but it was how I coped with rejection and abandonment. I’m getting better – but I still have a long ways to go.
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New York City in the early summer was warm but the air around our small little group was nice with a small bite of chill to it. Little lines formed around Mia’s mouth as she frowned at me. “Nox, stop showing off.”
I gave my best friend’s wife a wide toothy grin. “I’m not. It’s fucking hot out here.”
“It’s only June. What’s July and August gonna be like?” Jace complained. “Just be thankful he’ll be around to make our weather change. Outdoor air conditioning.” Mia’s arm was a blur of speed as she slugged her husband with a smile. “Ow!” Jace said rubbing his arms and grinning like a fool.
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Being only half-Venatori fighting has always been uneven – almost unfair – until I realized that I could use my ability to bend the elements as a helping hand. Some say it gives me an unfair advantage. My response is – you are faster, stronger and more agile than me. If you can stop doing all those things, I’ll stop using my universe given gift to bend the elements.
It’s not completely unfathomable that bending elements could be used as a weapon, but the Venatori don’t train you in combat magic. It was something I picked up on my own. It’s hard to teach combat magic when not everyone can do the same thing to the same ability.
My father can bend fire and earth. Technically he could throw a fireball at his opponent – but with out air as a mechanism as well it’s difficult to get the speed to actually throw it with any force. He could form the fire around his opponent though. My fighting technique is more the first with very little around the later. But then again 80% of what I did in school was purely defensive so I wouldn’t get the shit kicked out of me when they threw a hard punch that could have killed me because I couldn’t get out of the way fast enough. A few kids broke their hands punching one of my air walls – sucks to be them – but it would have hurt me far worse.
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I could talk about my ego and how I shine. But I think I’ve ego’d it up a bit lately. So instead we’ll talk about the one thing I know about that no one else really understands – the spark of life – shiny little flecks of pattern that pulse and breathe in everything. They are in every object, in every pattern and yet as a Magnus we can’t manipulate it.
To manipulate it would to become a god – a creator – the universe. Whatever you believe in. Yet if you know to look you can coax it. Most Magnus don’t have the tools necessary to use the sparks of life – only a Cesari or a Magnus who can touch all four elements can really use it’s potential. Maybe four Magnus together? But I don’t have anyone willing to try who believes me. Maybe if I were Scrin and not just some hunter who relies on brute force I could prove my theories.
Dorian suggests I write a paper on it. Maybe I’ll do that. Sit down and write the theory and the logic and the diagrams behind the simple theory only I can see. Like they’d believe that. Dorian says it can’t hurt to try. So maybe one day when life gets boring and I’ve no hunt on my plate. Or maybe if I need to slow down… a lot of maybes to explain the one thing no one would believe. My shiny little pet project.
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Yet another prompt I have no idea what to write about. I guess I’ll ramble. Everything has an end. At least in life. Is there an end to numbers? Can the pattern ever end. I don’t know but the pattern is infinitesimal.
The patterns if I open my eyes, is everywhere, I can drill down and see it like I was looking at the atoms in a very powerful microscope. I can bend elements, but all Venatori have have a mental gift. Dorian has a photographic memory. Mia is a minor empath. Jace and his entire family are telepaths. My father is kinetic. Me I see patterns. Not just the elements, but real honest real world patterns.
Because of it the maths and sciences are generally easy for me despite the time I need to study to actually understand what it means. But the patterns are easy. I love the patterns, I can turn it off and I can turn it on with a flip of my mental switch. There are patterns everywhere. They are infinite.
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This isn’t giving me any ideas on what to write specifically…
I know you saw what I did there. I honestly have no idea what to write about. I could leave it like this. I can get my post in and be short and sweet. And that inspired the picture – chocolate. My one true weakness. I’m a pretty big health nut – the whole eating right and exercise all part and parcel to my mental health and well being. But give me chocolate and I’m a glutton. I avoid it at most costs, but that is one way to truly get to the bottom of my soul and make me indulge in things I know I shouldn’t.
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As you are probably aware I’m afraid of heights, yet I still throw myself off of the tops of buildings for the fun of it. I’m also terribly afraid of flying. Not sure where the heights phobia came from, but flying I’m well acquainted with it’s initiation.
I don’t let my fears rule my life. Well I try to conquer those that are easiest for me to do, because some are a lot more difficult to deal with on an emotional level. Jumping from a building and using my ability to bend air and earth to float to the ground is a coping mechanism – when life gets hard, I jump. I control that fear. I control my safety and my landing and I’m in control. Where as I can’t always control those around me, or a situation that’s stressing me out.
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Temptation. There was a point in my life where I considered the possibility that other’s lives would be better without me in it. I had plenty of opportunities to jump off the AU building to end it all. There were many reasons to go through with it. Dorian and Dae’lin wouldn’t need to worry about me. Margo wouldn’t need to keep seeing me even. But then I ask myself what would the world be like without me?
Egotistical? Maybe, but that was the facade I wear in order to make it through a bad day. A pretty smile, false bravado, play up the “I like the same sex” card and push the world away so they can’t hurt me – that is what I am to most people. But as you try to fake it till you make it, I came to understand that I am worth the air I breathe.
If I didn’t exist, Jace would never have met Mia. And those two are a complete set. If I didn’t exist, the Venatori might continue at their status quo and never changing to fit the existing world. I’m sure all these things could have happened without me. But they wouldn’t have happened in this way, without me. I’m worth it. Besides you wouldn’t get to listen to me ramble on about things either – and that I think would be a sad day. Poor AJ has to listen to me constantly. At least ya’ll only have to read it – or ignore me.
Imagine me talking in your head non-stop. AJ’s yawning and pretending it’s tiresome. AJ loves me. It’s a good thing cause I’m not going anywhere.
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Before I get into the topic I’d like to apologize for the horrible posts the past three days. They were all written on a phone while riding in a car while AJ tried not to get too car sick before finishing it.
Anyway, There comes a time in everyone’s life where they reach a crossroads, the crossing of two paths. There were plenty of minor crossroads throughout my life, but I can think of only one that set me on the course of my current path. As always there was the easy decision, and then the one that no one else would like. As always it’s one of my typical rants here – how the Venatori kill before thinking about why they are hunting a particular supernatural being.
My very first hunt was a ghost who was inhabiting humans and killing people. The current host for the ghost was a little girl. I didn’t want to kill her, but Michaela – my handler – was pretty keen on it. I wanted to keep the girl alive, she couldn’t have been more than 8 or 9 years old. But the ghost had become murderous and attacked me – I defended myself resulting in a pretty scar on my left cheek from a knife the girl was wielding, and the death of the little girl and thankfully the ghost inside of her. Otherwise the situation would have been for naught.
But it wasn’t until after I’d left Michaela’s care that I looked into the actual death of the ghost involved. I found out he’d been a boy who was abused and his first kill as a ghost had been in revenge. Revenge is the biggest trigger for murderous ghosts – they’ve lost all morality and continue to kill for the feel of flesh. There could be an entire field of supernatural study on ghosts if someone actually wanted to do it. But most Venatori don’t want to go around studying the monsters we hunt – not even to better understand how to kill them in the modern age. These are archaic times for the Venatori.
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My mother has passed away. It’s been several years actually. I never really knew her. I have memories of her as a child but they are few and the largest memory of her is tarnished by her fear of me.
I can’t make up the time I lay heating her. I can’t fix it. I do regret it. But it has taken me years to get this far. She hated me. She hated what I was. The night she found out I was magnus she called me a monster and spat on me. I was five. That sticks with a kid.
18 years later I saw my mom again. She barely looked at me. She still hated me. It pushed my feeling even deeper into the negative range. Shortly there after I met her again on a hunt. We were hunting a werebear. It’s a long a story I’d rather not get into. But the end result was her death. I was there to watch her die. She wanted nothing to do Whitt me even then. I will never get the chance to forgive her for all she did to me, nor will I get a chance to make things up to her for disappointing her. One of my biggest regrets.
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I’m not much of a stereotypical “gay” man. My fashion sense is jeans and sarcastic t-shirts. My apartment was designed by Dorian. The interior is a pale orange cream with a light bamboo floor.
The paintings and artwork are however my choices. I have a floor piece set of the Brooklyn Bridge in my living room. Above my bed is a piece from Van Gough’s blue period. In front of my bed is a three piece print of a tree on fire and in ice. On the side wall is a schematics of a few different weapons. In the bathroom I have the patent for toilet paper above the kamode. Near the front door in the kitchen area Dr. Seuss quote reminding me to be myself sees me out the door.
Dorian says it’ll do. I’m happy with it. I don’t spend much time in my studio apartment except to eat and sleep.
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Trying to attempt to get a post in a day for a year. This is AJ’s quest, but it’s my head so it’s my goal now too.
Currently AJ is driving home from holiday visiting with family. A good time was had. Tho I didn’t get any me time. It was all family family family. Yes I’m jealous.
But I can’t fault AJ. Family is important. I would do the same thing if my family were close.
AJ is being car sick now so I have to go. Check ya’ll tomorrow.
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AJ is off home for the holidays so I’m not getting as much attention as I deserve :P
But we wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year.
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Write about the benefits of being an only child—or the advantages of having siblings.
Both kinda apply to me. For 18 years I was an only child – I didn’t know I had siblings. I didn’t have parents that took care of me, but that still made me an only child or should it be orphaned child.
Now I have four brothers and one sister. I’m only close to one of them – the one who I almost had more than a friendship with ironically. Nick and I have gone out looking for guys together. I made a pretty good wing man for my brother I think – he went home with a guy so that was a plus. I didn’t that night, but I had a good time.
My sister is probably the closest – Iris’ children I’m closer to. One of them works in the IT department – he’s a great help when I need tech help. I like to tease him, but he’s a good kid.
The advantages of having multiple siblings tho is we don’t have to take the brunt of our father’s displeasure alone. He gets angry at all of us for various reasons, but I’m glad I’m not the only one of Kai’s children that likes men – it makes life a little easier for Nick now that I’m Kai’s son too. Though I still get blamed for turning Nick gay – he was before we hooked up. But that’s another story.
Being an only child was lonely. I don’t know if it has benefits since I didn’t reap any as a child. But that has nothing to do with being an only child and more to do with being an orphan. So not really a good topic – just me rambling – sorry.
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Do you have the same religious beliefs that you had as a child? If so, why? If not, how and why did they change?
I’m sure I’ve answered this one before. The Venatori don’t exactly have a religion. We believe that the world was created and this creator made four races – Aeternus, Dragons, Primeval Vampires and Humans. Technically you could include The Deva as a race as well since Angels and Demons don’t fit into these four categories but they our creator never intended them to live on earth. They came before the four races.
Our creator gave us the Clandestine Providence which strictly says, humanity is to be protected from the supernatural races and kept innocent of the occult. Their religion was stripped of supernatural influence in most cases, but there are many instances of it littered throughout their Bible.
This is what I believe to be true. The Venatori teach us that we – the Venatori – are the result of Aeternus breeding with humans. Magnus are Venatori who breed with half dragons. The Venatori became the police of the Clandestine Providence through their own arrogance. While not precisely what I learned as a child it is my belief now. I do my part in changing the role of the Venatori, but when you are half human and not accepted into your world it becomes difficult. But I am making changes – lives are not being saved – but they have to at least give them a semblance of a trial. Which is slowing being seen by the younger generation. It only takes one.
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Fortune? Good luck? Money? Either which definition you use I don’t need or want any of it.
I’m not materialistic. I need a roof over my head, head and air conditioning, and food. My possessions, other than furniture, fits into three bags. At most four.
I don’t believe in luck or fate. We are given one life, we are allowed to lead it how wee see fit. Luck is just a coincidence – good or bad. It’s all timing.
But I do have treasures – things that would make my life complete – my own family is number one on that list. A significant other to love me for all of my faults and virtues – children who are mine by love – not necessarily by blood. Blood doesn’t make you a family – being there when you are most needed does.
I think that’s why I have a hard time with my biological family now that I know I have one. None of us were given the chance to be there when things were tough. I’m working on letting my dad in. I’m working on being a better son – not necessarily one he wants – but a better son none-the-less. This is my fortune. This is where my heart lies.
The Mind of Nox 