When I was five I had one stuffed toy I truly adored. I’d had it for a while – a gift from my Nanny on my third birthday. Back then I had a big fascination with dragons – both real and imagined. Mulan was my favorite movie because of Mushu the dragon back then. His go gettem attitude was something that I still admire today. For most of the movie he remained positive – but everyone has their set backs, and when it came down to it he was still a true friend.
I clung to Mushu on the most devastating day of my life – the day we all found out I was Magnus – not that it should have surprised anyone. The probabilities of my birth guaranteed I would be Magnus. My mother hated me from that moment forward. Mushu got me through the thick of it. Until my little stuffed dragon burnt in a fire I started while trying to save him from my bully of a roommate.
Mushu was never replace – I was an ward of the community. I was only given necessities – and a comfort object was not viewed as a necessity. So I learned to use other things to cope and comfort. Eventually, after I found the carnal pleasure of flesh it was the only comfort I took in others. And a tool I used to insure people didn’t get close to me. A lonely life but it was how I coped with rejection and abandonment. I’m getting better – but I still have a long ways to go.