Temptation. There was a point in my life where I considered the possibility that other’s lives would be better without me in it. I had plenty of opportunities to jump off the AU building to end it all. There were many reasons to go through with it. Dorian and Dae’lin wouldn’t need to worry about me. Margo wouldn’t need to keep seeing me even. But then I ask myself what would the world be like without me?
Egotistical? Maybe, but that was the facade I wear in order to make it through a bad day. A pretty smile, false bravado, play up the “I like the same sex” card and push the world away so they can’t hurt me – that is what I am to most people. But as you try to fake it till you make it, I came to understand that I am worth the air I breathe.
If I didn’t exist, Jace would never have met Mia. And those two are a complete set. If I didn’t exist, the Venatori might continue at their status quo and never changing to fit the existing world. I’m sure all these things could have happened without me. But they wouldn’t have happened in this way, without me. I’m worth it. Besides you wouldn’t get to listen to me ramble on about things either – and that I think would be a sad day. Poor AJ has to listen to me constantly. At least ya’ll only have to read it – or ignore me.
Imagine me talking in your head non-stop. AJ’s yawning and pretending it’s tiresome. AJ loves me. It’s a good thing cause I’m not going anywhere.