Tomorrow AJ submits her short story. It’s just a small thing, probably won’t win anything, and after she hears back we’ll post it here. For everyone to see the conclusion of the story. It’s 800+ words.
AJ is at her new set up and we are gonna write some of the AU and then probably do some Mass Effect 1. At least that’s the plan. AJ might do some other things too. We’ll see here in a bit. We have a computer to set up for actual coding projects. Might need to do that at some point now too. Now that we have a real set up.
She is really liking the set up so far. We won’t really know till we actually get to work and game with it. should be fun to figure it all out.
AJ is dead tired. She helped with lawn care, put a desk together, helped install the new washer and dryer and put a chair together. Her arms ache, her wrist is killing her and she was eaten alive by mosiquoes. But it was a good day. AJ’s well on her way to having a nice work space for writing and working.
Maybe tomorrow she’ll get to game a little see how well that works and possibly write some, but this is doing alright. AJ’s desk is already a mess. She has losts more to do, but so far so good, AJ’s got a nice set up.
That is my life — all of it. I’m just a figment of AJ’s imagination that she wants to share with you.
But today one of AJ’s songs was remade by one of her favorite bands, and I can’t help but want to share it. It fits very much with me and my life.
Demons by Imagine Dragons
When the days are cold and the cards all fold
And the saints we see are all made of gold
When your dreams all fail and the ones we hail
Are the worst of all, and the blood's run stale
I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide
No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come
When you feel my heat, look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide
Don't get too close; it's dark inside
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide
At the curtain's call it's the last of all
When the lights fade out, all the sinners crawl
So they dug your grave and the masquerade
Will come calling out at the mess you've made
Don't wanna let you down, but I am hell-bound
Though this is all for you, don't wanna hide the truth
No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come
When you feel my heat, look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide
Don't get too close; it's dark inside
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide
They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul, I need to let you go
Your eyes, they shine so bright, I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now, unless you show me how
When you feel my heat, look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide
Don't get too close; it's dark inside
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hid
So today’s word makes AJ think of Sci fi. And there was once a world where Sage Parker (the original Sage Morgan) who was going to be a super human computer aboard a space ship. Planet earth had been destroyed by mankind, and the last vestige of hope for humanity lay in the space ship worlds they created to search for a new home.
I was set to be a mutant cause of my ability to manipulate the elements.
But the idea of making a sci-fi ship was daunting. The technology required. But now that AJ thinks about it that might be better than the cyber-punk version of the story. Tho I doubt I will give AJ time to create a new world much less time to write anything but me.
The current AU is an alternate me. The one change that AJ made to my prehistory was, “What if Order never infused me with Umbra?” That would mean I grew up with my sister, and my mother. But it goes back even further than that. What if my mother was never bitten by a werewolf and thus becoming Venatori. How did she meet Kai? Pretty much the same way. Kai was in town hunting monsters and he hooked up with a human. This is a deviation for Kai but maybe LeeAnn was a bit persuasive and he is a horny man.
But I’m still half Venatori. And I still have my magic. It’s not enhanced by the umbra so I sparked silently and without major incident. But without help I see the patterns of the elements, I don’t know how to shield. I suffer from major migraines because of it. And the things I see and think are beyond me. I eventually learn I can make fire, and do some things with my magic, but only basic things. I’m a royal mess. I take to drugs to feel numb to the things I see and think. And I’ve attempted to take my own life on several occasions — landing me in Appelgate Asylum, a mental health facility with long term care options. And I get to meet Alex inside.
It’s interesting. I doubt AJ will ever let anyone outside of a few eyes see it. Mostly because of it’s depiction of the inside of a mental health ward. She is taking pieces from experiences she’s been told (first hand) about but still it’s not something AJ has heavily researched. It’s just a story for her, and me. (and our alpha reader and Alex). But if you are interested AJ is more than happy to share it with you when it’s completed — privately.
So I have no excuses this month. AJ’s challenged me to post everyday (at least a new post every day we can write it days ahead if we so desire…)
And to be truthful it’s not so hard till the weekend comes and we have to remember to write something cause we didn’t plan ahead. It used to be so natural to do this. Now it’s a lot more rambling than I’m used to. Not that I don’t like to talk mind you.
AJ is working on a short story. We need readers by the end of the week to look at it if you are interested. It’s a story about my mother, I’m not in it. I’m not even a twinkle in her eye yet. It’s less than 1K. If you are interested shoot me an email (nox.durante@gmail.com) or post a comment with your email and I’ll shoot it on over to you.
We want to say something else too. AJ’s new laptop gets hot easily. Some of the vents are on the bottom so it was overheating quickly. AJ read that if you give it room to breathe it’s fine. So she’s been proping it up with something while waiting on a little metal h-frame angled stand (it doesn’t adjust) but it keeps the computer at the perfect angle. Like THE perfect angle for typing. AJ’s like where have you been all my life! It’s so much better than the flat board she typically uses. It’s comfortable. Just wow. She’s very impressed. And it’s so simple of a design. And the laptop doesn’t get hot at all.
AJ’s been in her new house for two years. Owned it for three. And the one thing that they’ve wanted to do since they thought about buying this place was rip out all the annoying plants. There are so many flowers and plants that look like a jungle around the house because AJ does not have a green thumb.
She doesn’t cultivate things. She tends to kill them.
Needless to say they got some of those plants ripped out yesterday. 5 hours of work. For a good price. It looks nice.
I’d show you pictures but AJ doesn’t have before and after’s. Sorry. She’s not a big photo person. But it really opens things up and changes the look.
AJ is still working on the short story for the contest at Auto Crit. We have one week left to finalize it.
It’s still well short of the mark but it would have hit under the 1.5K mark. Hell we are under the 1K mark at this point.
I think AJ is going to leave it as is. Maybe we’ll call the story the Rescue. Or The Ward. Or something like that. We might add to it. AJ’s kinda been slacking on this short. I guess cause it’s not about me I’m holding her back. hehe.
I might be but who knows for sure. Could just be not a good story. I dunno. Hopefully AJ will be able to share it with you soon.
AJ’s been a cleaning factory today. Mowed the lawn by herself, and the girls helped with cleaning the house. AJ’s wiped. But she’s gonna sit down with her new computer and play her new game – which is a remastering of an old game AJ never played.
So today is short while AJ gets into the game. And tries not to fall asleep.
So AJ has decided to let ya’ll review the cover for Dragon Hunting short story. AJ purchased the 3D Model and posed it herself. He’s not perfect. But he’s close and it’ll be the same model throughout all the covers. It might be a bit more realistic to make all the objects 3D like the model. Or find a way to make the cover more ‘flat’ or something. AJ’s still going with it.
We’d love to hear your opinions on both the 3D model and the cover art.
I will never talk about the presidency or politics or any current event in a political fueled nature. I might throw something out there, but I typically don’t follow politics. AJ’s thing carried over to me. But I’m not really interested in human politics, Your rules hardly matter to me.
I mean they do. But the Venatori believe they are above the law. And I’m not really much different. We follow our own laws. The laws of the supernatural. There are a lot of law breakers even in that. The Venatori handle only a fraction of what is really classified as breaking the Clandestine Providence.
All those vampire cults, and werewolves marrying humans. They are all minor infractions. The Morgan’s taking in Sage before they knew he was a path is a violation. Me with Alex is a violation. My mother with my father is a violation except she was raised by Venatori.
Speaking of Which AJ’s writing a story about my mother…. right now it’s only 750 max words… we can hit up to 5K. AJ’s gonna play with the idea of breaking a promise on that story but it’ll be carried out through the years. So far it’s going well.
Yesterday I said AJ was gonna use one of her older shorts for this upcoming contest. Yesterday her and her Alpha were talking and they came up with a really good story. The story of how my mother lost her family.
And this morning AJ woke up with a real itch to write another story for me — an AU suggested also by her alpha. I won’t reveal the premise behind it just in case AJ decides to post it.
So yesterday AJ wrote down the synopsis of the story. Made an entire family tree of coincidences. And now she’s planning on changing some other characters to make it that more impactful. And hey why not include this. It’ll be come cannon. As it’s back story. And well thought out and doesn’t change anything in the story really.
It is unanimous here in AJ’s head that we have a short story to write and we have no clue what to write it on. There are ideas percolating. But nothing that is saying write me.
AJ’s tried to think of something for me that could fit into 5000 words. OOH Dragon Hunting does…
Duh!
Edits. Thanks guys. We unanimously thank you too for listening to me vent.
I will be honest this prompt had been giving me trouble. So today’s post will be shot. I have no world lore about civilization. You know of world better than I do. You live in it.
And my fiction works is just a mirror of it.
AJs computer is having issues so she is using an old 4gb ram laptop one of the kids had. It’s show and doesn’t really work well but got writing it works. A new laptop is on the way tho. It sold be here this week. And with it a new desk and soon a chair and dock to hook up a real office upstairs.
The office is temporary. But with the price of lumber the office will remain a bedroom for the foreseeable future. So today’s by the balcony it is. It’s all good. AJ can’t wait for a real desk and chair.
AJ is currently writing an alternate universe in which Alex and I have been happily together since we were kids. We were partners in crimes on the streets. We were brothers at the same foster house. And we were each other’s first male lovers (my first lover at all, but Alex’s first boy). And we are the last lover too — as in the story Alex popped the question.
The question becomes what’s the conflict?
17K words and there really isn’t one. And AJ’s not sure if there would be one. We’ve an event coming up that could pose some conflict externally. So we keep on going.
AJ needs to start editing again. Go for broke with The Call of the Dragon, it is in need of a minor rewrite. Though not a complete one. More like rearranging scenes. Which AJ needs to sit down and do some of.
The simple answer — LICE! Her youngest has lice. The last time the girls had lice it took forever to get rid of them, and then AJ spends months feeling lice on her head like some kind of delusion. The air currents move tiny hairs on her head and that makes her think that there is lice where there is not.
She probably has never had any, never found any before, haven’t found any now. And AJ sucks at the combing specially since the youngest has super long hair. It sucks!
AJ hasn’t eaten properly in three days. She only slept last night because she was so tired, even went to bed without the traditional bed camp so the air doesn’t keep her awake at night by moving her hair while she tries to sleep.
Her morning was spent looking for other lice treatments that don’t require combing as a method of must do to get rid of them. Killing the nits is the most important thing. AJ has several treatments already but she’s afraid it’s going to be another long haul and is planning ahead. There is another treatment on the way this week.
To say AJ hates lice is an understatement. It affects her mental health far more than her actual health. It’s very possible AJ might make a trip to the doctor just to have them look at her head. Her eldest has looked, she’s used the camera to the best of her ability. But even that isn’t going to fix the mental part.
But I wouldn’t know about any of those problems. If I were real I’d just suffocate the little bastards where they lived — safely for the host of course. No human sized vacuum — just the scalp and hair in the head. They can go to the moon without getting on a rocket ship!
I don’t know if I ever mentioned it before but AJ started another blog which was supposed to be more intimate. A lot of birthday suit scenes and smut would be going down.
Sadly AJ never really got it going. There are a few alternative universe stories that could go over there.
But maybe not yet. I want to get this back up and running. Maybe later I can share some of the not for public viewing stuff.
Today writing this is May the 4th. So I can’t go without the classic May the Fourth be with you!
I know it’s not the 4th when you see it, sorry!
Today’s prompt was jewel — thus the diamond in the rough title. The chosen one. The one who can use some work to get to the beautiful center. Under pressure.
Yeah that all sounds like me. But there is more to it than that. There are a lot of diamonds in the rough in my story. We all go through things. You are a diamond in the rough too!
Okay I really don’t have much to do with this one. Sorry. I thought I had words, but I don’t.
Money has never been a motivator for me. It’s not something the Venatori typically strive for. But obviously we do require money in order to pay for things, we live in the real world after all. (I don’t mean your real world, mine :) )
There are a few individuals who strive after money. Those individuals in the Venatori strive for money for the entire race. These few souls go to college and take finance jobs or invest well. Asher Eriksen is New York’s financier. We don’t see him much anymore, but originally he played a big part in my story. Now his part is more subdued and really non-existent. Though it’s still there.
Asher is a genetics researcher on top of all his other careers. His family has been playing with genetics since the Venatori were created. He has a goal of recreating the Aeternus — reintroducing immortality to the Venatori lines. Perhaps avoiding the downfall by keeping a human procreation rate.
So much of his expenditure beyond the living of the Venatori goes into funding his research. Of which most of the Venatori are apart. He conducts his research by push and nudging individuals together. Which could be the very reason Michaela went after me — extra stipend to spend. Or maybe a better job. I don’t know. But AJ’s thinking now. My rambling has paid off a little.
AJ got her second shot today (the day we are writing this and it socked her in the face!). And today in the car while AJ is picking up the youngest brat, the oldest one asked AJ again when she was going to turn into a zombie. Which then progressed into them debating on the science of the Walking Dead zombies. So a scratch doesn’t claim people. AJ mentioned that’s how therianism works in her world — except it was specifically becoming a werewolf in the discussion.
SO… back to the topic. AJ told her that scratches don’t cause you to become a werewolf, but having sex could as it’s an STD. AJ then explains that werewolf bites and vampire bites kill a Venatori….
NOW wait a minute… if therianism is a sexually transmitted disease… What happens when a Venatori has sex with a werewolf?
Hmmm… Matt should be dead by this — the number of times they’ve even played at having sex could have been dangerous. So WHY is Matt not sick or dying? We know my mother died from it with in days.
Are they being that careful? All the time? Plausible?
But here’s the catch that AJ doesn’t even have to make up. Matt is a null — he cancels out any magic he touches. So Matt should be safe, right? Alex can’t read his mind. He routinely breaks my magic. So has Matt contracted the disease that causes therianism — but his innate ability to nullify anything magic saved him?
This is AJ’s big ah-ha moment with that discussion, but it needs to be explained in the story. Because I know for a fact somewhere Alex and I have this conversation and he goes, “Wait? What? You can become a werewolf by having sex with one?”
This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. AJ, herself, has to deal with it on a parental level in multiple capacities. And she wonders if maybe she too should talk to a therapist. But right now, this is our therapy — her therapy, talking to all of you through me.
In story AJ has attempted to stick me in an asylum twice. And both times AJ has ditched the story because of reasons I’m not sure we really understand. It’s not a taboo or anything, it’s more like the story doesn’t add to anything. At least not yet.
But I struggle in my day to day life with massive anxiety. Yes, I’m a fictional character, and if you think AJ writes it all wrong say something. (My email is nox.durante@gmail.com)
Anyway, AJ does reading on it for me, and for her daughters. And I don’t just suffer from anxiety and depression, the aversion to change, and my way is the right way all come from the OCPD. My compulsions make sense — to me, to others too. But it’s the inability to adapt to the change that makes it a disorder. At least that is our understanding of a mild case of OCPD. Or a possible scenario of a diagnosis. Again not a doctor here. So we could be wrong, and we do try to keep the actual disorder name out of it. And just trap it all in with who I am. And the things I deal with daily.
What’s ironic is that AJ’s Alpha reader shared a video with us captioning the message with “for when nox is feeling self destructive…” And it fits well with today’s prompt.
So for anyone who is feeling low, or like life can’t get better know it can and it will, if you can just get past this moment. And each moment you keep telling yourself that and trying things will get better. And listen to this song, it says it so much better than I can.
I’m going to post the lyrics because they are that important!
I heard that you've been
Self-medicating in the quiet of your room,
Your sweet, suburban tomb.
And if you need a friend,
I'll help you stitch up your wounds.
I heard that you've been
Having some trouble finding your place in the world.
I know how much that hurts,
But if you need a friend
Then please just say the word
You've come this far,
You're all cleaned up,
You've made a mess again,
There's no more trying,
Time to sort yourself out
Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one,
Make no mistake,
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,
Now don't lose your fight, kid,
It only takes a little push to pull on through,
With so much left to do,
You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you.
I heard that you've been
Having some trouble finding your place in the world.
I know how much that hurts,
And if you need a friend
Then please just say the word
You've come this far,
You're all cleaned up,
You've made a mess again,
There's no more trying,
Time to sort yourself out
Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one,
Make no mistake,
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,
Now don't lose your fight, kid,
It only takes a little push to pull on through,
With so much left to do,
You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you.
Grit your teeth, pull your hair,
Paint the walls black and scream, "Fuck the world
'Cause it's my life, I'm gonna take it back, "
And never for a second blame yourself.
Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one,
Make no mistake,
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,
(No, you can't cover up)
(One, two, three, four!)
Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one (This ride is a wild one),
Make no mistake,
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,
Now don't lose your fight, kid (Don't lose your fight, kid),
It only takes a little push to pull on through (push to pull on through),
With so much left to do
You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you
And I’ll listen (AJ will listen) if you need the sympathetic ear.
The Mind of Nox 