The whole thing went down as planned. Almost to the letter. 

People arrived. My dad gave me a hug and when he stepped away he both remembered and forgot who I was. It was odd watching the light of recognition fade. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be. At least Alex never had to see the memories fade right in front of his eyes.

I fought back tears more than once. Happy and sad. Joyful and depressed. I couldn’t decide which way I felt.

I spent a great deal of time on the balcony alone. Some of my friends were here, but Sage and Mia were absent. And I understood the reasons, they weren’t Alex’s friends. And I didn’t know them. They didn’t know me in this forgotten world. But I missed them on this big day.

Ryan and Ant were here. Alex had Kish and Kay flown in. They did not want to shadow walk. And that was alright. Jesse was here. Though he didn’t know me either. But he was here for his sons. He didn’t understand why, but he was.

Dorian and Marco came to the party for the kids, but when I got a hug from Dorian in congratulations for my upcoming nuptuals he remembered me and he squeezed me so tight I lost what little control I had. Which was why I was on the balcony to begin with. I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want Dorian to forget me again. I pretty much left Dorian in the lurch when I fled his embrace.

Alex cleaned up the mess and Hunter gave Dorian a stone. My mentor joined me on the balcony. “Your father will hate this if he knew.”

“That I fell apart because I hugged you?” I laughed.

“That you can handle him forgetting you, but not me.” Dorian said taking a sip of his wine as he leaned against the railing to look over the edge.

“I’m surprised you are here.”

“I’ve always tried to conquer this fear.” I said.

Dorian nodded. “You have. Much to my displeasure.”

“Alex’s too.”

“I’m glad you stopped because he asked you to.”

“Me too.”

“You okay?”

“Are you going to forget me again?”

Dorian held the stone Hunter had given him in the palm of his hand, “I’ll get this mounted into a bracelet, so maybe for a few days while it’s done.”

“We can do that.” I said.

Dorian nodded, “Marco said he knew a guy. So we’ll go that route. It’s beautiful.”

“Hunter made it.”

“He told me when he handed it to me.” Dorian looked back through the glass doors, “You should get inside, the ceremony is about to begin.”

I sighed. “Yeah okay.”

Dorian pulled the sliding door open, and we stepped through. Alex took my hand and took me to where Vin stood. Vin cleared his throat and several people yelled and clanged their glasses. The music played softly on the speakers around the space. More tears fell as the soft instrumental of a song Alex played for me over the years provided background music for the ceremony. Stand By Me would always make me cry just from the old memories. This new one was unsurmountable.

Vin started, “We are gathered here together to join these two love birds. Does anyone have any exceptions?”

I rather expected someone to joke about something but you could heard the sound of everyone breathing as we took this moment of silence. Until Ryan shouted, “Just get on with it I want to bob for apples.”

The whole room burst out in laughter and Vin rolled his eyes. I was barely holding it together.

It wasn’t a traditional ceremony. Vin was a vampire ordained centuries ago by the Roman Emperor himself. We’d gotten him ordained in real time by the internet – cause that was a thing now. He was hardly a practicing Catholic now. Dead and believed damned until recently, Vin said the words, but there was magic in the air.

Kish and Kay said their spells. Isabel and Rosana their own. Ant had his own set of wiccan magics here too. It wasn’t just a human wedding with paperwork. Every coven, every clan, every blood line, and every pack made an offering. They didn’t know what they were doing in the perfect sense of their forgotten world. But if I went up to them they would remember the agreement we made. They bound their followers to me, in the truth that they didn’t remember knowing that I’d find a way to give it all back to them, and I’d find the people who took our memories. In the middle of my thoughts there was a simple command, say I do, Pretty boy! 

“I do.” slid out of my mouth, with barely a skip in the ceremony but my thoughts continued on in the direction they had been going.

It was reigniting a flame that had been flickering for months. We solidified the lines of our city. At least in the shadows we would remain strong.

“I pronounce you married.” Vin stumbled over the latter part and Alex snickered as he pulled me in close and kissed me hard.

He muttered when we lingered in close, “Even in our ceremony you go off into thoughts. It’s a good thing you take cues well.”

“I said I do.” I said. 

Alex laughed and pulled away, “Barely. You didn’t hear a word Vin said.”

“Did I need to?”

Alex sighed, “No love you didn’t.”

We slipped off to sign all the papers Dorian and Vin had for us. We were officially and on paper one big happy family!

I headed up stairs to get ready. I still planned on being Ted. It was still a costume party, we were just going to throw a wedding into the mix. A lot less planning Alex said.

Alex was waiting for me in our room. He sat on the bed wearing a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt that simply said “404 Costume Not Found”

I chuckled at the costume and rolled my eyes. “I should have expected as much.”

“You should have. You feel better.”

I nodded. “I do. I’m sorry.”

Alex sighed, “I’m sorry.”

I looked in the mirror and frowned, “Ted doesn’t have a beard.”

Alex chuckled, “You are still going to be Ted.”

“Right on dude!” I grinned at him. 

Alex smiled and took my hand, “It grows back.”

I shivered. Alex dragged me into the bathroom and pushed me against the counter, “Sit.”

I sighed but I complied. Alex pulled out the shaving kit and he went to work. It felt wonderful feeling his fingers against my skin, but the razor only made me anxious. It wasn’t distrust, it was the fact that my carefully kept beard was going the way of the dodo, and it would look awkward for a while as I grew it back in. I didn’t want to look like a child. Or more feminine than I already did. A little makeup and I could pull off a drag queen very well.

But that wasn’t me.

Alex patted my bare cheek softly when he was done. “Keep your eyes closed.”

I sighed but heard Alex pulling a makeup wipe from the box and he started rubbing off the eyeliner and lip gloss. “Ted doesn’t do the make up thing either.” I shivered. My entire person was being rewritten for a costume. “You going to be okay?”

“With you here.” I whispered.

Alex leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Alex left me alone staring at the mirror. The sharp angles of my cheek bones clearly visible. The bare chin was soft and smooth and I looked like a different person. Younger. I saw my mother in me and I turned from the mirror. I didn’t want to hate myself.

Hunter came in with my costume pieces and he smiled up at me. “Daddy?”

“I’m okay.”

“I know. How long am I going to be grounded for?”

“How long did Alex say on the beach?”

He laughed, “Forever.”

I shrugged. “I will work on lessening that sentence but it won’t be by much.”

Hunter nodded. “I’m sorry I ran away.”

“I know you are. Don’t do it again, with or without Vin.”

“Did Vin get in trouble?”

“He did.” I said. Though Vin’s in trouble was more of a please don’t listen to a five year old when you know he shouldn’t be doing things. Thank Vin actually getting punished. Because he did what he was asked. He watched Hunter, he didn’t interfere. He helped as he could, and I couldn’t fault him for that. But Hunter had to understand what he did was wrong. And using Vin was not a good thing.

Hunter sighed, “I’ll go to my room then.”

“Nope. You will get your costume on, and you will sit at the punch bowl serving everyone as punishment. But you will be there, and I might let you off to play some of the games Lake has planned.”

Hunter grinned, “Yes sir.” And off he ran to get dressed.

“You know I would have been okay if he didn’t have to work the party. It’s our wedding after all and he’s your son he should be there – grounded or not.” Alex said stepping into the bathroom while I pulled on the sweat pants for my Ted costume.

“You might have. But he needs to know he doesn’t get a free pass.”

“They hated when I was the big bad Dad.”

“Because you weren’t ever the person to punish them. I was. You were always the fun Dad. By the way, with these wedding papers we are going to sign. Dorian has adoption papers for you to sign too.”

“What?”

“You are the kids Da. Hunter, Cass, Drake and Faelen – all mine. Now if you sign the paperwork – all ours.”

“Really?”

I nodded. “None of them will change last names because I want them to carry on the ones they are given, but they will be officially yours – on paper even if that was already the case.”

Alex grinned, “You surprise me sometimes.”

“I try.”

“Am I still just paperwork?”

“Marriage is all about paperwork. Alex, we’ve been more than husbands for a long time. A wedding just tells the world we are together forever. And the piece of paper tells the government that everything we have we share. But none of it changes how I feel about you. With or without it, I can’t live without you.”

“You just did.” Alex smirked.

“Not well, Alex.”

I finished with the costume and pulled on the wig. I dared a glance in the mirror and didn’t see my mother staring back. “Woah!” I mimicked.

Alex chuckled. “Woah!” He ran his finger down my jawline and I could see the lust in his eyes. “You going to be okay?”

I shrugged, “But I’ll be okay with you.”

Alex nodded and took my hand and we joined the rest of the family just as people started to arrive.

Two days before Alex’s birthday the entire family got their memories back. But everyone was under strict order to never mention that fact. The good thing was, that most of us already knew how to keep secrets and well the kids, they didn’t go to school with normal people. So our secret was safe – we hoped.

That first night I spent in Alex’s bed. Our bed was hard for me. I think I cried for most of it not actually sleeping. How the fuck had I forgotten everything? Specially my kids. And then there was the whole self doubt – they didn’t even need me.

I was so far down the rabbit hole even Alex needed a break, though he never left my side. But I knew he’d shut me out. Our bedroom was blocked, so none of my magic escaped. Something Alex had done to all of the rooms, so the telepaths could have peace. I hated that I was a wreck.

But come morning I pretended to be right as rain. As Rider and the pack started preparations for a wedding. That was our only plan to get me back in the house so the bad guys didn’t know. So Alex and I would wed on his birthday. He didn’t seem to care one way or the other.

“Are you sure?”

Alex laughed, “Fuck, Pretty Boy, yes. I’m sure. My birthday doesn’t mean much to me, but you.” He grabbed my shirt and pulled me close, “You mean the fucking world to me.”

I kept my emotions in check for two days straight. Bottling things up and I knew eventually I’d blow, but right now, the family needed me stable even though I was far from it. I called Adrian and we talked down in Brew while everyone else planned a wedding.

I didn’t give Adrian a stone, but he remembered the moment he sat down at the table. Close proximity to me, and the fog lifted. Which is the reason Hunter had taken the stone to begin with. I couldn’t do with Alex forgetting me over and over again. But I had done the same to him for so many years. It pained me.

“You aren’t doing alright.”

I shook my head. “I’m more of a mess than I’ve ever been before.”

“Wedding jitters?”

I shook my head, “No. I’ll marry Alex any way possible as many times as possible. This is just hard. I forgot everything. They didn’t need me. They don’t need me now. I hurt Alex by forgetting him in the dreams for years growing up. Every time he’d come into my dreams every night – I’d forget him. And then I have the the same thing happen and I let my son take it away so I don’t have to watch as Alex forgets me. How is any of that fair?”

“Two things first. Alex did need you. So did your family. And so does the pack. In two days of you being back in the know and the pack is stronger than it’s been in months. Rider’s control is firm again. He’s not a sixteen year old Alpha. He’s our Alpha. Everyone feels the difference your power makes Nox. And I’m going to forget why, but Nox, we need you. I’ve always needed the strength you give. When I brought you into the pack I brought you in for your power. You were a scared kid, with so much ambient power, you didn’t even know what you had. I brought you in to control you. But as you got older that power shifted the omega grew stronger and you calmed the pack without the pack knowing. And as that grew so did the power and the alpha side. I had to make you leave or they would have convinced you to oust me.”

“I wouldn’t have done that.”

Adrian nodded, “I know. But they didn’t. I didn’t want a mutiny on my hands.” 

I sighed. “You survived without me.”

“I haven’t in years Nox. Rider is using your power base. You are Alpha of Alphas. You are the King of New York. You are the Third Ascendant, the Imperodo. You rose from the dead. Don’t tell me we don’t need you Nox. And your family was a mess. Alex buried himself in work. Rider was too busy to stay on top of the house hold. That left Iz and she didn’t want any of it. We all helped Rider as we could, but the longer you were away the more things fell apart. Hunter running away was the last straw for a lot of us. And in two days your household is back. You don’t think you do anything, but they know Nox. They just know. Hunter did the right thing making the stones for you.”

“And you are okay forgetting all this?”

Adrian laughed, “Nox, there are worse things in the world than not knowing why my life just got righted.”

I sighed. “Thank you.”

“My job.”

“Actually…”

Adrian laughed, “Ryan’s job, but you needed a third party.”

I nodded. “I miss Margo for that.”

Adrian stood up and offered me his hand, “We can schedule coffee once a week to discuss you if you’d like. And keep our standing times for business.”

“I’d like that, if you don’t mind.” I took Adrian’s hand and shook firmly. 

“I’d like that too.” Adrian leaned in and gave me a hug, “Stay well, my friend. Until we see each other again.” He meant that in a different way this time. He walked away and didn’t look back. I wondered what he remembered just happening. But I didn’t dare ask.

Everyone was bounding around like chickens with their head cut off. Alex was walking past and I cracked open the wine he’d bought and poured a glass. When he rushed past again I held the wine glass out to him impeding his progress. He stopped and looked at me with a frown. “I’m sorry. We…”

“I know. Doesn’t he have a watcher?” I interrupted.

Alex shook his head. “Not in the house. And no…” he frowned, “We don’t have cameras in the bedrooms.”

“I’ll go look for him in the park, that seems to be where he likes to go.” I said. Alex was clearly pissed and he didn’t need my help finding his son. I set the glass on the counter, “Dinner’s warming in the oven but it’ll dry out.”

I walked out of Alex’s house again. I took the stairs and out of the lobby before anyone caught up to me. 

“Jesus, Nox. I’m a bit preoccupied I don’t have time for this shit.”

“I’m going. Don’t worry about it. I’ll help look for him. Go back.”

Alex grabbed my arm and frowned. “Nox. Stop.”

“No Alex. This is your life. You want to be an ass when I ask questions then fine, but I don’t have to stick around.” I growled. “Vin, come get me.” And I started walking away.

“Why did you just call Vin?”

“Because he’s mine.” I said and kept walking pulling away from Alex.

“You remember something?” He followed me.

“No.” I walked to the alley and waited. Vin came out of the shadows shortly after I arrived.

“Hunter said you’d call.”

“I remember. Where is he?” I asked.

Vin frowned, “He made me promise not to tell anyone.”

“Vin, he ran away. He didn’t tell anyone. His family is freaking the fuck out. He’s five fucking years old, he can’t do this.” 

Vin nodded, “I’ll take you to him.” He looked resigned.

“Yes, let’s go to Hunter, but how is Vin yours?” Alex asked.

“Hunter will explain. Come on.” Vin took Alex’s arm and steered him towards the shadows of the alley he’d emerged from. I followed him willingly. Though I was pretty sure Vin wasn’t willingly taking us to see Hunter.

Vin held out his hand and I took it easily. And then in the next step we were in the shadows of a summer house way out at the far end of the Hamptons. I didn’t really know how I knew where we were but it looked remarkably familiar. “Why are we here?” Alex asked.

I pointed out by the water, “Hunter’s over there.”

“You can see that far away?”

I shrugged. “He’s looking for rocks against the beach over there.” Vin added.

“You left him on the beach alone?” Alex growled and started running in that direction.

Vin and I followed and when we caught up to him, he was already on his knees hugging Hunter tightly to his body. He at least loved the little boy, though I was still feeling like this wasn’t something he wanted for himself. I wondered why he stayed.

Hunter was safe and now Alex was yelling. Vin and I stayed out of ear shot and Hunter started crying. He ran towards us and wrapped his arms around my legs. “I was just trying to help.”

“Did you?” I asked

Hunter looked up at me with tear streaked cheeks and a bright grin. “I made enough. I can’t wait anymore. Everyone’s so broken.”

He handed me a charm bracelet and as I took it in my hands I felt like I’d always known things I had forgotten. The magic of the spell washed away the fog of my mind and I knew me. I knelt down and smiled, “You made enough?”

Hunter nodded enthusiastically and he held out the palm of his hand with a bunch of smooth rocks with a slight glow and a rune etched into the side. “But nothing to hang it on?” Hunter nodded.

I sat down in the sand heedless of my phobia. I had things to do and Hunter needed help.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked. 

“One sec.” I held up a finger and I pulled my magic about me and I made a simple cord and Hunter burrowed a hole into the stone and we strung the cord through the rock and tied a simple not at the end. I stood up and tried not to freak out as the sand fell away from my ass and legs. Alex’s shorts were no match for the sand and I started to feel the scratchy edges to them and I closed my eyes as I walked towards Alex. He didn’t flinch away from me as I strung the pendant over his head and tucked it inside his shirt.

He blinked at me. The confusion and then the realization and he wrapped his arms around me and he held me tight. “Fuck Pretty Boy.”

Hunter handed Vin a stone and the vampire smiled at me. “It’s good to remember boss.” He chuckled at the word.

Alex turned around and looked at Vin, “You… That makes more sense now. I broke your bond with Ant?”

I shook my head, “No, but Vin’s is strong because it’s one of loyalty and friendship. Ant’s was forced.”

“Ant’s power is what I have though.” Vin said. “I’ve never been a powerful vampire. Shadow walking was never something I could do. And this daylight thing. Yeah pretty sure that should never have happened.”

“It’s all Nox.” Alex said, “He fucks up magic.” He chuckled and looked at me with a bright smile, “I fucking missed you Pretty Boy.” He leaned in and kissed me.

When Alex broke the kiss his eyes were shining with tears too. “Don’t ever do that again!” 

I chuckled, “I didn’t do it in the first place. Why would I want to forget you or our life.”

Alex pulled me close. “I know baby, but that begs the question. Who did?”

I sighed. “I have no idea, but now that we know we’ll work it out.” I hugged Alex tighter. “With you I know we can accomplish anything.”I sighed. “I have no idea how, but now that we know we’ll work it out.”

A shadow passed over Alex’s face, almost like he might already know something, then he rolled his eyes and it was gone, like I imagined it. “So fucking confident,” he teased.

“Why not?” I shrugged and hugged Alex tighter. “We’re back together now, we can accomplish anything.”

“If you can get Cass to clean her room I just might believe that.”

“Me too,” Hunter chimed in, reminding me we weren’t alone. “It’s a disaster dad!”

“Well, I guess we should get back. Vin?” I let go of Alex and Hunter stepped between us, gripping both our hands, then Vin took my free hand and we were back home, back to reality, and all that entailed.

I rummaged around in Alex’s kitchen and found it was pretty well stocked. Chicken thawed, vegetables in the crisper, and there was even a few high protein carbs that would work. Alex was buying a wine. I hoped a white as that was one of my go to dishes. But Alex’s fridge had a fine white already opened.

The kids came back but only Hunter was smiling. The other two looked grumpy. “Did you guys have a fight?”

Hunter shook his head, “They haven’t stopped. They always fight.”

“Do you fight?”

Cass growled, “Hunter’s a goodie goodie do gooder.” Drake was nodding reverently as well.

“Nothing wrong with that. The world needs them just as they need two overly eager youngsters who need to learn to get along.”

“Why?” Drake growled.

“Siblings, whether they are blood, or not, like you and Cass at some point in your life is all you are ever going to have. You’ll find that low and you’ll need your family. And Alex won’t be around forever.”

“Shows what you know.” Cass growled, “Da’s immortal – he’s bound to Ant as his Chevalier. He’ll live forever.”

I blinked and her words and Hunter lost his smile. “Cassidy Donovan you don’t have to be so cruel.”

Hunter slide off his stool and storm out of the room past Rider. “Hey,” he said as he side stepped the aching child.

I sighed, “Maybe you guys should go to your rooms and away from each other.”

Rider helped both of them off the stool. “Go.” For a moment I smelled the soft scent of pine needles on a cold autumn morning. And then it was gone, and with it the children were off in opposite directions to their rooms I supposed.

“Sorry about that.” Rider said. “Hunter’s been off. He’s not been sleeping well. And Cass and Drake are at each others throats almost constantly. Even Fae can’t calm them.”

“Fae?” I asked as I started chopping vegetables and garlic. 

“A garlic white-wine sauce?” Rider asked.

I nodded. “I’ll help. You want to bread the chicken or grill it after a marinade?”

“Grill.” I smiled. 

Rider took up a place next to me with a cutting board and the chicken and started pounding the chicken thin. He wasn’t cutting them which was awesome. After he got started, “Faelen is another of their adoptive brothers, but he’s our omega of the pack. They are supposed to help calm the restless. But it’s not working real well. I either suck as Alpha or Faelen isn’t quite as Omega as we thought.”

“You are an Alpha werewolf?” 

Rider laughed. “Yeah. I turned in August. Apparently being Alpha is something you are born not something you earn.”

“So a power thing.”

Rider nodded, “Yeah. Lake is just a normal wolf. No one knows why I made it to Alpha.”

“Twins.” I said. “One is strong, the other weak. One is night, the other day.”

Rider stopped pounding the chicken and looked at me, “How?”

I shrugged, “A memory. Almost like I’m remembering words spoken to me but I didn’t understand them then. You and Laker are like opposites?”

Rider nodded, “Can’t get more opposite. I’m out going, he’s shy. I’m athletic, he wants to play video games, but Matt won’t let him.”

“He likes boys, you like girls.” I added.

Rider blushed, “I could like boys if they were cute enough.”

“But do they do it for you?” I rolled my eyes.

“I’d be lying if I said no.”

“You have a crush on a guy?”

Rider laughed, “No. Not exactly.” He sighed and continued pounding the chicken like the chicken was the object of his ire. “With the pack connections I get all sorts of feelings. And being Alpha I have a lot of them, and I feel things that I don’t normally feel. Like an attraction to people I wouldn’t normally be attracted to.”

“It could be a purely platonic connection.” I said.

Rider shook his head, “No. Wolves mate for life. And unlike wolves whose instinct is to breed our human natures kinda dissolve the breeding instinct, and only go with the what would make a powerful mate. Since our drive isn’t to create more little humans, our human instincts override the wolf. And mating is about what makes me stronger.”

“And a guy in the pack would make you stronger?”

Rider nodded, “Yes. At least that’s what Adrian says. Adrian and Leah are mated. They enhance each other’s abilities. She tempers his need for complete control, and he controls where she does not want it. And it’s not a bedroom thing.”

“I get it.” I smiled. I knew that. I don’t know how but I did. “Who is this guy?”

“I’d rather not say right now.”

“Do you find him attractive?” I asked.

“Not really.”

“But you have feelings for him?”

“Not those type of feelings.”

“So what’s the draw then?”

Rider sighed, “Power. Control. I don’t know… family. Love, but not romantic.”

“Your beta?”

Rider shook his head, “No. It’s hard to describe because it feels good. He’s a new addition to the pack. But yet it feels like the bonds are so tight I’ve been connected to him a long time.”

Rider and I worked in relative silence for the next thirty minutes. Chopping vegetables, simmering the white wine and garlic sauce. Rider grilled the chicken on the indoor grill. I loved this kitchen.

I didn’t hear the door open but I could feel Alex walking down the hall. He opened up a door peered inside them moved on. He did that several times and kids followed him out. I knew most of their names, but as Alex moved closer to us from the hall he looked concerned, “Where’s Hunter?” He asked as he stopped in the kitchen door.

“He ran off to his room.” Rider said.

“He’s not there.” Alex sighed, “I just checked.”

That set Rider, Laker and Matt along with Alex off in search of the young boy. Dinner was forgotten – mostly as everyone started turning everything over looking for Hunter in earnest. And I had this feeling that Hunter was missing because of me.

We walked out hand in hand – me wearing Alex’s clothes. It was the first time I really got a good look at their place – my new place? Alex squeezed my hand and I looked at him, “Your place.” He smiled.

It took a little bit to know he was in my head.

Hunter came into the kitchen followed by Cass and Drake. They were all giggling and talking erratically. And then the yelling started. “Da.” Drake whined, “Cass won’t get out of my head.”

Cass pointed at the young dragon – a fucking dragon, “Drake is talking about me behind my back. Drake called me a suri.”

“I did not.”

Cass growled, “I heard you.” She said pointing a finger at her own temple.

“So you heard Drake call you a suri in his head?” I asked. “Why were you in his head?”

Cass turned to me and frowned, “What the hell business is it yours. You are a friggin slag.”

Cass stormed out of the room in tears.

I looked at Alex, “And this is why listening to someone else’s thought is bad.” Alex looked guilty. “What’s a suri?” I asked.

Alex shrugged, “First time I’ve heard it.”

Hunter sighed, “It’s what the young kids from the Venatori call telepaths – it means pick pocket in Japanese.”

I looked down, “What’s feras?” I asked Hunter.

He frowned but it quickly turned into a smile, “It means game in Latin I think, like wild animal game. It’s what the supernatural call Venatori hunters. You remembered the word?” He ran to me and wrapped his arms around my legs.

Alex sighed, “Why did you call Cass a suri, Drake?”

“She’s always in my head.” he complained.

“I’ll talk with her.” He sighed and headed off in the direction Cass had gone. 

“What’s a slag?” Hunter asked.

I laughed and started looking around the kitchen to get my bearings in Alex’s kitchen. “Technically it’s the trash left over from smelting or coal refining. But Cass pulled it from my head. A term sometimes uses to describe a woman who is promiscuous or has a lot of boyfriends.” I tried to explain without being explicit. “It’s a term I’ve called myself many times in the past because of self esteem issues – I was trash, and because I didn’t care about the people I slept with – a double whammy.”

“Why did Cass call you that?”

I shrugged, “I guess I was feeling like nothing again.”

“But Da asked you to marry him, and you said yes.”

I looked at the little boy. He grinned and pointed to the ring that was on the left ring finger.

I smiled. “I’m still second best.”

Hunter frowned. “You aren’t. I promise. I wish I could show you, but I can’t right now. I’ll get what I need tomorrow and then I can show you. I promise.”

Alex came back in carrying a pouting Cass. “Apologize to Nox.”

Cass growled then when Alex set her down she looked up at me, hands on her hips like she was going to yell at me. She did yell, “I’m sorry.” Before she turned to Drake and said, “I’m sorry I was in your head.”

“Drake apologize for calling your sister a suri.”

“I didn’t call her anything.” He growled.

“You thought about it, and you know your sister doesn’t have great control. She’s learning.”

“I won’t.”

Alex pointed to down the hall, “Go to your room then. No dinner until you apologize. We do not call people names in our heads or out loud – specially when they are your sister.”

“She’s not my sister. Just like you aren’t my dad.”

“Now.” Alex growled.

I wasn’t sure this was a big happy family like they presented.

Alex gave me a half smile, “We aren’t. There is nothing perfect about any of this.” I felt like Alex wanted to say more. To say he hadn’t wanted any of it, but now he was stuck with it. Alex frowned, “I’m not stuck with it Nox. I want to be here. I’m just frustrated.” Drake didn’t leave, or go to his room and Alex just gave the boy a nod and I was left wondering if he’d apologized to Cass in his head.

That seemed wrong. Specially with all the things that had just gone wrong because of not talking to each other. I sighed, so much to get used to. But Alex was tense and he needed a break, I could feel that much from him. “Well why don’t you go hide for a while, I’ll tell everyone you went to get some more wine.”

“Why don’t I just go get some wine. Then it won’t be a lie. What do you want?”

I smiled, “A couple of good bottles of white wine?”

Alex grinned, “I can do that. I’ll even walk instead of making Ant take me like usual.”

I smiled. “You are spoiled.”

“You have no idea.” He came over to me and pressed a kiss to my lips, “You going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine. They’ll behave themselves.”

Alex gave each of the three kids a look and they all looked abashed. “If you are sure.”

“I’m sure.”

Hunter climbed up on a bar stool in the middle of the counter, and he patted seats on either side of him. “We can help.” He said.

That was sort of my plan. Keep them busy so they didn’t bother anyone else. “Let’s do it then. Everyone go wash their hands first.”

Cass looked at me and climbed into the chair defiantly. “I won’t say it again.” I said. Hunter and Drake both grabbed Cass and took her off the stool and headed down the hall.

“With just a look.” Alex said as he slipped past me and down the hall after them. I heard him stopping to talk to the three kids in what I presumed was the bathroom before he left with a soft click of the door.

The water was getting cold or the air was cooling against my skin. Alex was lounging beneath me. I shifted and Alex groaned, “Don’t tell me you want another round?”

I kissed his neck and shook my head, “No, I’m good. Just getting cold.”

Alex shifted underneath me and sat up, “We should get out and get dinner going.” Alex fell back, “Actually, I don’t want to do that if it means you aren’t going to be here in the morning.” Alex grabbed my chin and kissed me hard. “I don’t want you to go. Hunter keeps running to you don’t you think that means anything? Like maybe you belong here with us.”

“I can’t be him Alex. I love you but I can’t be him.” I climbed out of the tub and found a white fluffy towel and held it up to my face and kept the tears from falling to my cheeks.

The water splashed on to the floor. Alex’s arms wrapped around me from behind, his face pressed into the crock of my neck and shoulder. “I don’t want you to be him, Nox. I just want you here with me. With us. I fucking love you.”

“You love the idea of him being me.”

Alex turned me around and took my chin in his hand, “I like the idea yes, but I can’t get you out of my head. You feel like home Nox.” He took my hands and placed them on the counter. “Stay right here.”

I didn’t move a muscle, my body went rigid with desire and obedience and Alex left the bathroom. I heard him rummaging around in the room adjacent to us. He swore a little and then he sounded triumphant and came back in still naked as when he left. His fingers wrapped around something. 

He chuckled to himself as he put his hands on the counter next to mine and looked at me. It didn’t bother him at all that we were both standing their naked. He smiled, “In my head it sounds a lot better. So I’m not going to play games here” Alex got down on one knee and he held a ring in the palm of his hand. “Marry me.”

I blinked at him and he smiled at me, “I know it’s his ring, but it wasn’t a proposal. He made it to match the one he made me.”

“So you are married.”

Alex shook his head, “No. I’m just being honest, Nox. We never got married in the traditional sense. I didn’t even say yes exactly. He was declaring his love in the only way he knew how. Something I’d understand.”

“Because you were human. And now you are doing the same to me?” I was getting annoyed.

“No. I want you. I want you here with me. I want to love you, make you my husband. Walk down the fucking aisle in white dress if I have to.”

I laughed, but I clamped my lips shut again and tried to be serious. “I guess I should do better than you then?”

Alex laughed, “If you want to leave me naked and literally hanging, I could survive it.”

I knelt down next to Alex and kissed him softly, “Yes. I’ll marry you.”

Alex grinned against my lips, “So move in.”

“What before we tie the knot?” I giggled softly.

Alex pulled me close and kissed me harder, “I can get a priest here in minutes if that’s what you want.”

I grinned. “How about I make dinner for the family, spend the night and see how it goes? Then we can discuss it more tomorrow?”

Alex nodded, “Deal.” He stood up and helped me up. “Let’s get dressed. I’ll get your clothes washed you can wear some of my clothes.”

I let Alex lead me away into the bedroom still naked as the day we were born. “Help yourself.” He waved to the chest of drawers and walked into the closet whistling to himself.

I pulled the first drawer out and I felt a slight tightness in my chest. Panic, overwhelming memories. I grabbed a pair of boxers and a tank top and closed it quickly.

Alex was staring at me from just outside the closet door. “You okay?”

I shrugged, “Why did that bother me?”

Alex pulled the drawer open and blushed, “It’s a mess.” He grinned at me, “You keep them all in a tidy little row.” He pulled open the drawer next to it and sure enough they were all in a row. “I snooped.”

I nodded absently as I sat down and got dressed. He watched me as I pulled on his clothes. It was hardly anything to wear out of the bedroom. Alex pulled open another drawer and pulled out some cargo shorts. “That will keep you decent.”

I smiled, “You know me so well.”

Alex laughed, “I like to think I do, and I’m learning more and more each day.”

Alex pulled on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt that said “I make cute babies.”

“Is that a hint?” I nodded towards the shirt he was pulling over his head.

“We’ll have to find a surrogate, since neither of us can be baby mama.” Alex laughed “Iz says she won’t do it again.”

“Again?”

“They aren’t hers.”

“Yours?” I asked.

“Sorta.”

“Sorta?”

Alex sighed, “Both of ours – it’s complicated and well you aren’t him and I don’t want you to be expected to be him. This is our life, Nox. You are not replacing him. You are you and I love you.”

I sighed and flopped back on the bed, “And you love him.”

“Are you having second thoughts?” Alex asked.

“I don’t know Alex. Dinner. That’s my next step.” I sat up with a happy smile, “I’ll deal with it as it goes, I can’t do more than that right now.”

Alex nodded, “Sounds good. Let’s go cook.”

“You mean,” I grinned at him, and then with my best impression of Alex, “You go cook. I’ll watch.”

“Yep.” He smirked.

The shower didn’t go nearly as Alex planned. It didn’t go as I had planned either. Shower sex was always interesting, but Alex had other ideas, he had a huge bathtub. One long enough for both of us to stretch out nearly full length. 

Alex had my shirt off before he pushed me up against the sink counter, “Stay.” he commanded and my body reacted accordingly. My hands wrapped around the edge of the counter and I stayed right where he left me to turn on the water. I closed my eyes and listened to the water running, Alex’s hand waving underneath the stream as he tested the warmth.

And when it stopped I could feel his eyes on me. “You like constellations eh?”

I opened my eyes and looked at him. “Uh.” I sighed, “I don’t know what any of them mean.”

Alex smiled and pulled his shirt over his head and walked over to me in that I know something you don’t know walk. It was fucking sexy watching him move like he knew what he did to me. His left hand ran down the middle of my chest and over my left ribs and I squirmed. Alex grabbed my arm and held his left hand with mine like we were shaking hands awkwardly. He had a tattoo much the same as mine, the same colors but the pattern of dots was different. “I’m told it makes up the constellation Cancer.”

“Mine don’t make up any known star patterns. I’ve looked.”

Alex held my wrist up to his face and he looked closer, his fingers traced over the spots, I closed my eyes at his touch. Each caress moved me closer to climax. Alex seemed to know that and stopped, “Shower first.” 

He said turning on the water in the shower, “Tub after.”

I opened my eyes and looked at Alex a little confused. “I need to get this gunk off before we…” He winked at me. It wasn’t Alex being shy or ashamed it was all a tease. He was fucking teasing me.

“Damn fucking straight, now get in here.”

Somewhere along the lines Alex had gotten naked. How had I not noticed? “You noticed.” He gave me that once over and I knew I had way too many clothes on.

The shower was quick. However it was filled with generous touching. I got the pleasure of running my fingers through Alex’s hair and listened to his Homer impression. He was a sucker for a good hair washing, and somewhere in the back of my head I knew it before I ever touched his head. 

My body was still tight and wanting by the time Alex grabbed a towel and dried us both off so we didn’t drip across the floor. It seemed a dangerous trek to be making out across and we didn’t. The water in the tub had shut off my itself. Alex mused, “A safety feature so we don’t have a mess.”

“Magic?”

Alex laughed, “To some, it’s engineering and electronics – Jack had it designed – he’s a genius.”

I nodded, the name felt familiar but I didn’t know a Jack. And in that moment I didn’t care. Alex grinned up at me, “What you waiting for?”

I looked down to see Alex beckoning me down into the water. The fire I’d had before was still roasting inside of me, but now was just simmering inside instead of trying to burst out. Alex seemed to understand exactly how to manipulate me even though I had been the one to initiate the kiss.

He reached up and took my hand, “Get in or I’ll start without you.”

As soon as he said it I paused and he looked like he’d just stepped in it. He knew exactly what he’d said. And I pulled back to the edge and knelt down. I was naked and exposed and I was hard as a rock and the need grew with each passing second, but Alex looked at me with pleading eyes. “I could watch.” I teased.

“That’s my thing.” Alex’s voice was heavy with desire.

There was a comment lingering in my mind, but I couldn’t find it. I bit my bottom lip, “Please.” I begged.

Alex’s hand drifted in the water. There was hesitation in his eyes, his hand floating above what I wanted him to do. He watched me as I watched him. I flicked my eyes up to meet his and I groaned with my own much needed pleasure. The heat in his eyes, the very thought of him touching himself had me ready and almost about to lose it. 

His fingers wrapped around his length and my eyes flicked down to watch. Alex shifted at his own touch and I pressed the tips of my fingers into the tub’s edge so I wouldn’t touch myself or climb into the tub to reach for Alex. 

His body was tight. And I wanted to touch him, it was killing me. My fingers hurt from the strain. I couldn’t wait any longer I climbed into the tub and Alex’s fingers stilled water splashed against his chest with my movement. His eyes were on me again. 

Water was not a very good lubricant, but a bath was not a good place for lube either. The soft lavender scent of the water came from an oil not too far from my reach and that would do better. I stood above Alex my cock hanging in front of him as I readied myself. He watched as I plied my self with the scented oil he’d used for the water. He groaned at my self intrusion and I gave Alex much more of a show than I had originally intended, his eyes on my body, even as I felt self conscious about the way I looked. 

“Please, Nox.” Alex whispered. He grabbed my thighs and I sank into the water and impaled myself with his dick. My head fell back and I rolled my hips against Alex. He pulled me forward and sucked and bit at my neck.

Water splashed onto the floor as we made love, it wasn’t the fiery passion of the first time, nor was it sweet and romantic now, but it was more than just sex as I felt things for Alex, memories of things we’d never done. Feelings of home, and more. Maybe Alex was right. Maybe it was more.

It was right, and perfect and Alex brought me over the edge twice before he finally let himself go. He chuckled as he pulled me against him, “You have such a quick turn around time. Usually only get that with a girl.”

“Magic.” I said. I rested my head on Alex’s shoulder, our chests still pressed against each other. It was relaxing, and I had a moment to look around. “Nice bathroom.”

Alex laughed, “Thanks for noticing, finally.” 

“I’m sorry I was a little preoccupied by a different sight.”

“And what did you think of that?” Alex asked.

“What do you think I thought?”

I felt Alex’s laugh in his chest more than I heard him laughing, “From the response I got I’m going to say you liked it a lot.”

“You have no idea.” I grinned against his neck. “My bathroom isn’t nearly as nice, but…”

Alex laughed, “After dinner we might need to clean up again.”

I pulled away from him, “That’s one thing I don’t do. Food anywhere but on a plate sets me off.”

Alex just laughed. And I had a feeling he intended to test the theory.

I knocked on the door, but Hunter just opened it right up. He lived there after all. I guess it didn’t matter. He tugged me after him, “Da’s probably not home yet.”

“Great.” That was just what I needed to be bitched at by a feisty young woman who was pregnant. 

And as soon as I stepped foot over the threshold sure enough Isabel came striding down the hall. Her eyes lit up with fire and her body said she was angry. Her hands on her hips, and the set of her jaw screamed at me to run away but I stood behind Hunter who hadn’t cringed.

“Hunter. Where the fuck have you been?”

“Language.” I said. Drawing her ire my way. Her scowl deepened. 

“You again!” She growled. She took the two steps past the little boy and shoved me backwards. “Who the fuck do you think you are? I should call he fucking cops.”

“You should. Next time your kid runs away and finds me I should call the cops too. I’m sure they’ll look real kindly on neglect of a minor. Specially one who finds himself a whole city away from where he’s supposed to be.”

Hunter pulled me past Isabel. “Da knew where I was.”

I shrugged, “He did. He told me to expect him.”

I could feel Isabel’s eyes following me down the hall. “Sit.” Hunter said as he pulled out a bar stool in the kitchen. “I’m going to my room. Da will be here soon, he’s coming up the elevator now.”

I blinked and Hunter was gone. He slipped down a hall and he left me alone in a gorgeous kitchen. 

Alex’s friend, the blond with the coffee order most days, stepped into the kitchen. He only paused a moment before he was back on his way to the fridge, “You want something to drink?”

I shook my head. “I’m good. I’m apparently waiting for Alex.”

Ryan laughed. “He’s on his way home.”

“Hunter said he’s in the elevator.”

Ryan nodded, “He is. I can feel him.”

“You can feel him?” I asked.

“Yep. It’s a bond thing.”

“A bond?”

Ryan set a glass of water in front of me and took up his own on the other side. “He is bound to Ant like I am. We will live forever and ever – well as long as Ant keeps his head anyway. And we won’t age and it makes Alex sorta my brother.”

“So he gets to watch me grow old and die. Lovely.” I frowned.

Ryan chuckled, “You don’t believe he’s your soul mate?”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

I heard Alex walk in. Well it wasn’t Alex I heard, it was Isabel. “You knew Hunter was going to run away and you didn’t fucking tell me.”

Ryan hung his head and frowned, “You really had to tell her?”

“Hunter told her not me.”

Ryan looked down the hall the way the boy had gone and sighed, “He’s been a right terror lately.”

“He’s a good kid.”

“He is. He used to be.”

“Until he met you.” Alex said as he walked into the kitchen.

“I didn’t do anything.” I said.

Ryan smiled, “You didn’t have to. You filled a void he was missing.”

“How?”

Alex and Ryan both shrugged. “Same as the one you fill for me.” Alex added.

“So I’m just a filler.” I growled.

Ryan laughed. “No. We all believe you are what we were missing.”

I looked at Alex, “You all talk about me?”

Alex smiled weakly, “It’s hard not to. Too many coincidences Pretty Boy.”

I sighed, “You ready to go?”

Alex chuckled, “You are?”

I sighed, “I don’t feel comfortable here.”

Alex nodded, “Let me change. I feel gross. I just came from the club, and I need a shower.”

“You can grab a shower, change, whatever, I can go.”

Alex shook his head, “No. I’ll walk you home.”

“But then you have dinner, it’s too much.” I said.

He smiled as he took my hand, “Come on.” I followed him off the bar stool and tightened my grip on his hand. It felt wonderful in my hand. I wanted so much more at the simple touch.

I followed Alex to his room. Which smelled like him and I could see a few of his touches, but it didn’t feel like Alex. It was too light and airy. “You didn’t decorate did you?”

Alex chuckled, “Not dark enough for me.”

“Why keep it like this?”

He shrugged, “I miss him.” I pulled away from him and Alex tightened his grip on my hand, “Pretty Boy, don’t.”

“Alex, I can’t be him. How could I forget all this? Why would I want to?” I yanked my hand free of his and collapsed into a hunched position on the edge of his bed, curled up with my head in my hands and my elbows on my knees. I couldn’t do this.

Alex sighed, “Nox, I’m not asking you to replace him.”

“Aren’t you?” I looked up, “You keep telling me I’m him. I can’t be him. I can’t be this person you miss.”

He sat down next to me. “You want to leave.”

“Why the fuck would I want to leave this Alex?” I sighed, “I want this. I want your fucking life. And you don’t even want to be here.”

Alex nodded agreeing with me, “You are right. Four months ago, if you asked me if I’d have kids and a man I’d die for I’d have told you you were crazy. But I wouldn’t change anything, Nox.”

I stood up and headed for the door. “I can’t do this Alex.”

“You promised Hunter you’d be at the party.”

I nodded, “I know. I’ll be there.” I stopped at the door and pressed my head against the hard wood. I didn’t want to go.

“Stay. Let me get a shower, clean clothes, so I don’t smell like a club. Let me walk you home. You can feed me dinner. And you can tell me to fuck off after the party alright?”

“I don’t want you to do that.” I whispered.

“Do what?” Alex smirked.

“Fuck off.” I turned and closed the distance between us. I grabbed his t-shirt with both hands in a tight grip at his collar and pulled him against me. I pressed a hard kiss to his lips and that was the only invitation Alex needed before his hands found skin under my shirt and he was tugging me towards the bathroom.

Hunter dragged me into a thrift shop around the corner. How he knew there was one was beyond me – he was five. I can’t imagine his dad would have brought him to a place like this. It was full of things people didn’t want and Alex didn’t look like the type to want things people had used.

A stab of painful memories jolted my senses. Jealous moments – not mine. Pain and heart ache and things I didn’t remember but I knew they had hurt Alex. Was he right?

I didn’t have time to reflect on the jolt of emotions as Hunter tugged me into the clothes section and started pushing clothes hangers around looking for something that spoke to him. He dropped my hand and I followed suit. It was like looking for a needle in a hay stack.

I found some really old 70s era shirts, the paisley and patterns made me put them back immediately. While I could do the disco guy I really didn’t want to. The thought of wearing such clothing gave me the heebie-jeebies.

I moved down the line of shirts and found a rusty colored denim shirt that looked like it had been loved and worn a lot. It triggered a memory. Sitting on the couch curled up with a friend. I didn’t remember his name. Or even his face, but the comfort of friendship was there as we watched Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. The orange jacket tied around Ted’s waist gave me an idea. 

“I know who I’ll be.” I said to Hunter holding up the rust colored shirt. “I need a 80s rock band white t-shirt – preferably Van Halen.”

Hunter looked at me like I was crazy. He had no idea who Ted was or even who Van Halen was. I mean I barely knew but I could manage it all the same. But now I had a goal in mind. The rest would be easy.

Hunter helped me find a pair of black shorts and the black vest. The sweats were easy enough, the tube socks we found were just gray we’d have to stop at a hard ware store and pick up some red tape. And there was still the matter of the Van Halen t-shirt. We looked all over for one, but that was going to be a rare find and I could make one, but I opted just for a plain white t-shirt. 

“I can make you one.” Hunter said. “It’s easy. I just need to practice.” 

“Practice?”

“Yeah it’s like drawing but not. Cassy colors her hair.” He smirked and I knew he wanted to say something else but he didn’t.

The biggest thing other than the shirt was the hair. I wasn’t about to dye my hair black. I liked the color in it as it was but I didn’t want to ruin everything with it, plus it was a bit too short. And I needed to shave.

We found a long wig at the costume shop around the corner and when we got back to my apartment I pulled up a picture of what Ted’s t-shirt looked like and Hunter started playing with magic.

I watched and I thought I saw him doing something, but it wasn’t quite there. I didn’t understand. Hunter kept looking at me and then back to his work. He finally sighed, “If you take the leather band off you could see, but if you take it off everyone will see.”

“What?”

Hunter sighed and he came over to me and colored the leather black, and it looked like Ted’s watch, “At least it’ll match your costume now.” Then he walked back over to the shirt and held it up. “Like this?”

“Perfect.” I said. It wasn’t exactly like the picture and anyone who got that close and knew for sure what he was wearing in the movie was too much of a fan and I didn’t really care. It was going to be covered mostly by the vest anyway.

Hunter and I drew out the “save the humans” bumper sticker and the smile face that added to the shorts. And the last thing was the red friendship bracelet which we just used an old t-shirt and Hunter’s magic did the rest. 

I tried it on and we styled the wig and the beard and make up had to go. I practiced my “Woah’s” and “No Way!”, “Yes Way!” and just plain “Way!”

It was barely lunch when I pulled up Netflix on my borrowed laptop and Hunter and I sat down to watch Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. It was good research and it was a movie that Hunter had never seen. And I only recalled bits and pieces of it from my childhood – a childhood I could barely remember.

We laughed. I cried, though I blamed it on the movie. Hunter saw through it and comforted me. I fucking hated that I didn’t remember things. My fucking life was a piece of shit and for all I knew it was heaven on earth before. But knowing my luck it was worse than what I was doing now.

When the movie was over Hunter and I rode the train back to his neighborhood. I was my normally dressed self, and I was hoping Alex would walk me home and I could make him dinner. Though taking the train would work too.

As we got off the train I lifted Hunter up and carried him down the street. “I had a good time today, but you have to stop running away.”

Hunter pouted, “But when will I see you again.”

“Halloween party. Okay? You promise, and I’ll be there all Ted and everything.”

Hunter nodded, “And I’ll have a present for you.” He was grinning widely as we walked into the lobby of his building. The smell of coffee drew my eye. I missed working at Brew. I missed the people there and it hadn’t been barely more than a day since I quit.

“You could still work there. Then I could see you without running away.” Hunter smiled triumphantly.

“I don’t know if I can see your Dad all the time.”

Hunter gave me a weak smile, “Think about it, after Halloween, it’ll still be there Uncle Rider is so upset you quit.”

“I’m sorry.”

Hunter wrapped his arms around me hugged, “It’s okay. We have lots of time still.”

We took the stairs up to the living quarters. I was not excited to see their reaction after the second time I brought Hunter home from his unauthorized excursions.

It was Halloween, and there were shops all over the place – just for the season. We started at one end of town and worked our way to the other looking for something that had a decent selection. This close to Halloween the pickings were slim and I didn’t much like what they had. So we moved on.

We wound up at a costume emporium with a lot of stock. Hunter grabbed a few costumes himself and hung them on the door to the dressing room. Apparently I was to try them on.

I sighed. “Fine.”

Hunter grinned, “You secretly love it.”

“Is that something you know?” I asked the little boy.

He just grinned at me. I hated that he knew things. But then it made things simple too. And he wasn’t exactly wrong. I could get behind a little fashion show. And I knew in the back of my head I had done it several times. Though I didn’t know exactly why. The memories were just feelings. I wondered if I’d ever know who I was. Or who I loved so much. I hoped Alex was right. Hoped he was the one. But I didn’t have his confidence even with Hunter backing him up.

I grabbed the two costumes I had picked and the others Hunter had chosen and I stepped into the dressing room. 

I knew what I grabbed, so I looked through Hunter’s choices. I frowned at the very ‘normal’ garb. I could probably make a better 70s era outfit at a boutique then here in the costume shop if that was something Hunter thought was the right one.

I put on the rainbow bell bottoms that fit, but were too tight in order to actually not show lines would require me to purchase said outfit and go commando. Which wasn’t a problem in and of itself, but I disliked feeling that vulnerable – specially when I knew kids would be around.

The shirt didn’t button all the way and it probably was meant to show off chest hair which Nox did not have. He shivered at the thought and while it was sexy on someone else he found it. He didn’t know really how to explain it. And usually he didn’t have to no one had ever complained.

Nox didn’t put the wig or fake mustache on, or even the gold chain. He could do better with everything at a thrift shop but he stepped out with the disco theme and Hunter giggled, “You didn’t put the wig on.”

“I’m not wearing this.”

Hunter giggled again. “What if I told you Da was gonna wear something like it.”

“I’d say you are full of shit!”

Hunter giggled. He knew I was right. And that made me feel better as I peeled the offending costume form my body. Hunter had picked out a second disco guy which I did not put on. This one having an afro for a wig and I shook my head. “Nope!” and tossed to over the door to the stall. Not a chance.

My costume choices were all pretty on par. I had picked three. And as I stood staring at them hanging on the wall I saw one left in here before me. It was still in a plastic bag – never been worn. I chucked and opened the door and held up the plastic bag to Hunter.

Hunter shook his head, “Da will want you alone, I won’t get to spend time with you.” He quickly added, “Me or Cass.”

I laughed. He was probably right, Alex would have less to take off if he decided that a shower scene was something he wanted to enact. And for the same reason as before that made me put the in the shower costume down as funny as it might be. Having to explain all the tattoos I didn’t know what they meant didn’t sound like a fun time.

So I was back down to my choices. One was labelled prince of darkness aka vampire. But there were no fangs or classic things just a guy wearing black and proto-satanic symbols. Of course the guy in the picture wore thick eye liner which would go with my usual make up routine. But I nixed that one right off. Some how knowing that vampires were real made it a lot less appealing – specially when one stood guard of a five year old boy outside the very stall I was in. Was it offending to dress as a vampire?

So I was down to two rather sexy historical men – a pharaoh and a spartan warrior. First the Egyptian king – the black and gold were nice, and the outfit covered a lot of skin. The only set back to either of the costumes was the skirt like bottoms they each had. I was never one much to wear skirts or dresses or kilts. It had been a thing as a kid. Being bullied your whole life was reflected upon all your choices there after. And this was no different. 

Memories of one particular blonde boy chased away all the good thoughts I’d been having and I sat down heavily on the bench in the stall. Hunter asked, “You okay?”

I nodded, “Memories.”

Hunter crawled in and unlocked the door. “We can do something else?” The small boy grabbed my hand and dragged me out. I gave an apologetic look to the clerk but said anything as he took me out.

“There is a thrift shop around the corner.” Hunter said, “I’m sure we could find something there.”

“But…” Was all I could manage as I tried to push the bad memories of a childhood I didn’t remember from my head. Things I didn’t really want to remember – not ever. 

Vin walked us into the middle of a room I’d never been in. The whole room was shadowed in darkness. Hunter grinned brightly in the black light, “It’s protected from outsiders too. Not everyone can just walk in.”

“That’s good to know.” I said, “Alex thinks of everything.”

Hunter giggled, “Da, said no fucking way am I letting vampires get a free pass into my house.”

“Hunter!”

Hunter frowned, “Sorry, I was quoting Da.”

“I know you were.” 

He looked up at me with a smile. “You mad?”

I shook my head, “No. But you are going to have to run interference with your Da. I’m not ready to have him forget me.”

Hunter nodded, but Vin intervened, “I’ll make sure he’s out. But he’s at Happy Trails training a new night manager so they can have two decent folks running the bar when they need it.”

“I didn’t think you worked for them?”

Vin smiled, “I don’t work for them. But I still have an apartment downstairs. I’m your kids bodyguard.”

“So how is he getting away from you?”

“I sleep during the day, I make sure he is good at night.”

“He usually sits by my bed and reads a book.”

“Anything good?” I asked Vin.

“Not really?”

“You should try the Immortal Instruments.”

Hunter giggled as he took my hand, “He’s read it three times. Come on, I’ll take you to see your room and then we can get the bracelet from my room.”

“I shouldn’t babe. I don’t think I could handle it.”

He pulled my hand alone the hall and into his room. “This is my room. It’s all mine.”

“Do you like sleeping alone?” I asked.

He shook his head, “No. But that’s why Vin sleeps with me.”

Hunter flipped on the light and the blue paint was covered in paintings. I stopped and ran my fingers over the paint my son had applied to the walls. I recognized some of them, and others I didn’t. Dreams he liked – toys he’d had as a kid – his mother. He tugged on my hand and I walked with him towards the dresser. He didn’t want to forget me either. Vin stayed closer than he usually did too. 

Hunter opened his drawer and picked up the front row of socks and set them aside before moving the others one by one until he found the cuff leather he’d attached the spelled metal rune I’d made him. His sister coveted the leather cuff. She had her own made into a necklace but she didn’t really need it. He licked his finger and washed away the eyeliner. Though it was more him manipulating a little earth and water, but he was learning to hide his gift in the mundane things. And then he slapped the cuff pushing the leather cord with the infinity symbol up to hand over it. 

Hunter reached into my pocket where I was keeping the charm bracelet and he clasped it around the same wrist. He shook my hand and it made no sound. “I think the rune keeps it silent. It kinda looks like a smashed up Venatori symbol.”

“Yeah. And something else but I don’t remember it.”

“Can I stay with you Daddy?”

Vin smiled, “Can we?”

I laughed, “I do have to go shopping for a Halloween costume, you wanna help?”

“Yes, please.”

“Can you walk us out of here Vin?”

Hunter put his socks back in a row. “He’s just like you.” Vin said.

I nodded, “He’s my son, what can I say.” And then Hunter flipped off the lights and rushed back to me before he could forget and then we were gone. Back into the streets of New York hiding in plain sight and ready to spend the day together. 

“What should I be?” I asked Hunter as we walked. Vin held my other hand. He wasn’t into men, but he wanted that connection I could feel it in our bond. He was mine, and I was his master. But I was pack, and even my vampires craved touch. I missed it. My heart had ached for it. I missed Alex. My heart broke at the loss of months of my life without him. 

My world crumbled around me as we walked. And before I knew it Hunter and Vin were sitting with me against the side of a building hiding in the shadows of the world while I cried.

Hunter held my hand, the one with all the jewellery on it. He played with the smooth rune stone. He was deep in thought and I tried to think about my son. I tried to forget that I had forgotten everyone.

“Daddy,” his small voice sounded so far away in my grief. “I don’t think you are ready for this.”

“Hunter, I’ll never be ready to deal with the fact that I’ve spent eleven weeks away from my family.”

Hunter got up and sat in my lap, but the expression on his face as he took my chin in his tiny hand was dead on serious. “You can do it with Da around.”

“But then he’ll just forget. And…”

Hunter smiled. “I’ll fix it.” He picked up my hand and he undid the clasp but the stone still touched my skin as he pressed it to my wrist. “I’ll make Da one too. Three things though Daddy. You can’t pull in on yourself. You hurt yourself, Da will be angry. The bracelet will help you and you won’t know any different, right?”

I nodded, “And the other things?”

“Vin is going to have to leave now.”

“Why now?” Vin asked. 

Hunter grinned, “You can’t be here when Daddy goes back to sleep. I’m supposed to have run away without anyone knowing.”

Vin pouted. It was sorta cute seeing this big bad vampire pouting because he was listening to a five year old. But Vin nodded and pulled himself off the ground. He knelt down and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “I will always be yours to command. Call me and I will come for now and for ever more.”

I laughed, “You don’t have to be so formal.”

Vin chuckled, “I wasn’t being formal. I was swearing my blood line to yours.”

“I thought I was already your master?” I looked up as he now towered above us.

“I did, but I was doing it again. Reaffirmation of my beliefs, so the magic was fresh and pulled when you called.”

“I won’t remember to call.”

Vin nodded, “You will.”

I sighed I didn’t have any reason to doubt it, but I could feel him down the line of our connection, it would have to do. I felt Alex too. I was going to miss that connection. The tears started to fall again and Vin left with a ruffle to Hunter’s mop of hair.

“Daddy, I love you. Cassy loves you. We all love you. We miss you and you’ll be home with us before you know it. But you have to forget until the party okay. I’ll have Da a stone then. I promise.”

“Hunt..”

Hunter shook his head, “I’ll save you.” He pulled the stone from my skin with the tears still falling and my head fogged over. It was like falling asleep. My head fell forward and then I jerked myself awake. “Mr. Nox?” Hunter asked me, “You okay?”

I stood up and smiled wiping away the tears that lingered on my cheeks, I didn’t really know why. “You tripped and hit your head.”

I rubbed my head but there was no pain. I didn’t think that happened, but I didn’t remember what had happened last thing I remembered was Hunter finding me in the park. “What were we doing?” A hit to the head would explain the memory lapse.

“You were taking me costume shopping. You need a costume for Halloween.”

I nodded, “Yes, I promised Alex.”

“Da will be so happy you are coming.”

Sleep didn’t come. Coffe helped that. I was on my second pot by the time I gathered my things up and was heading out the door for a long day of drawing while I waited for Hunter.

I didn’t live far from Central Park. But where Hunter lived was on the other side of the massive park in the center of the City. I walked around for a while. I was looking for a specific spot. Though my feet carried me straight there like I had been to that playground multiple times. It held a fondness I don’t remember but that wasn’t from the dream last night either. It’s was my own memory.

It hadn’t changed much from the dream vision. I set up my easle and chairs and just started drawing. I didn’t have anything in mind, I just drew. Whatever my mind wanted I let it out. And I didn’t critique it. 

People would stop and watch before moving on to do their own thing. It was only first light when I started, but the morning rush was over when I heard the familiar patter of little feet running my direction. A small pair of arms wrapped around me and I put a single arm around him and continued drawing. We said nothing just held each other. 

“Does anyone know you are here?” I asked.

Hunter shook his head against me. 

“I should tell Alex, you got here safe.”

Hunter pulled away and looked up at me. 

I smirked, “He knew.”

A small smile played on his face. “Da will pretend to be mad.” He reached into his pocket and held up a charm bracelet. “Da had it fixed.”

“What is it?” I mean I knew what it was, that wasn’t really the question I was asking.

Hunter shrugged, “It’s yours.” He flipped over the medical symbol and there was an inscription

Nox Sétanta – allergies: shellfish – phobia: needles

Hunter giggled, “It’s never said your name before.”

I put the pencil down and plucked the bracelet from his tiny hands while pulling him into my lap. “Is it magic?” 

Hunter shook his head, “No. I don’t think so.” His fingers brushed a bluish stone with a strange symbol carved into it, “This is though, it’s a rune stone. No one knows what it means.”

I brushed my fingers across the smooth surface and everything about my world changed. I couldn’t explain it. I folded the bracelet in my hand and closed my eyes. I felt everything. The pain inside was suffocating, I let it go. Let the power free and I felt again for the first time. I felt the little boy in my arms turn and wrap his arms around me, “Daddy!” He pressed his tear soaked face into the crook of my neck and I cried with him. How the fuck could I forget him!

I remembered the blond girl coming to me. Sitting next to me. I remembered her hand on my leg and then nothing. I woke to nothing. This girl had saved Alex. She made me forget. No – she made the world forget.

Why?

Hunter cried in my arms and I stood up, gathered my things and I walked him home – to my home. Once there I called Ant. I pulled hard through our bonds. But he never came. He didn’t remember.

Hunter had finally stopped crying when we got to my apartment. “Daddy, don’t go.” But I had to set him down and put things away. My reason for the clean apartment didn’t escape me. Someone did this to me and now I had to figure out how to undo it. But it had only worked because I had closed in on myself. 

I walked away from Hunter and he sat down on my bed. Ten feet away from he spoke up, “Mr. Nox, when can I go home?”

I turned and blinked at him. “What did you call me?”

Hunter looked down, beaten ashamed. 

“It’s not a bad thing, you aren’t in trouble.” I rushed over to him and his smile perked up.

“Daddy!”

“What the fuck! Hunts baby, you remember me?”

“Of course I do.” He blinked and then looked me straight in the eye, “But a minute…”

“It has a range.” That’s good to know.

“Okay baby, let’s go find Alex.”

“Da’s at Happy Trails.”

“What now?” I grinned all to knowingly. Alex was definitely not thinking cleanly when he named the club. 

“Da’s at work.”

“How’s he doing – really?” I asked pulling Hunter into my lap on the bed. I missed my family. I pressed my nose into the back of Hunter’s neck and breathed deeply of pack and home.

“Da’s okay. He’s better now that he thinks you are his lost love.”

“And I am, but you can’t tell Alex that I know okay? Someone did this to us. We have to figure it out.”

“Daddy?”

“Hmmm?” 

“You have to keep hiding.” He traced a symbol on my arm and I felt the power hide. But with no actual lines it vanished as quickly.

I sighed. “That’s dangerous.”

Hunter nodded, “But you are bleeding everywhere, they’ll figure it out.”

“You’ve seen it?”

Hunter shook his head, “No. I feel it. When I didn’t know you were my Daddy, I felt you.” He pointed where I had been standing. “But it wasn’t strong.”

I growled and picked up my son and carried him over to the bathroom. I set him down next to me on the counter and I grabbed an eye liner pencil. “This will have to do.” 

“Draw it again.” I said to Hunter handing him.

He drew the rune I had once drawn on his arm on me. My sight was gone, my power vanished into myself.

“You can’t get upset Dad!” He chided me.

I nodded. “I remembered the last time I’d done this, let the magic of the rune take away my sight.”

“I need to modify this.”

“You could use my bracelet.”

“You need it.” I said.

Hunter smiled, “I haven’t worn it in months.”

“Why not?”

“It blocks you from my dreams.”

“You’ve been having nightmares just so you could see me?”

He smiled weakly at me, “Hunter!”

“I missed you.” 

I sighed, “I missed you too baby boy.” I hugged him tightly to me. “Where is the bracelet?”

“In my sock drawer where Cassy won’t get it. She thinks boys underwear is gross.”

“That’s good.” That wouldn’t last long I was certain but for now that was good.

“Let’s go get it then. Can you call Ant?”

“Call Vin.” Hunter suggested. 

“Vin can’t walk…” But then Vin did. And Vin… The whole thing in the AU building. “You set me up.”

Hunter grinned, “It was for your own good. Vin is your’s Daddy. Ant is Da’s. Their bond is stronger now. Vin is yours.”

I think I understood. Alex was Chevalier, what connection Ant and I had once shared had been overrode by Alex taking on Chevalier. I was still Ant’s master, but Alex called to him more. I let our bond weaken. Maybe I knew? I was a little jealous. But I closed my eyes and I called Vin. 

There was a grunt in the bathroom shower were the darkness was deepest. “Fuck!”

“Hunter’s here.” I said.

Vin stepped out of the shower growling to himself. “Fuck! You need a better place. What did you do?”

“I just called you.”

“How…” Vin took a step closer. 3 feet away and his eyes drew wide and then those remaining feet were closed as he wrapped his arms around me. “Holy fucking hell. Sorry Hunts.”

He pointed to the shower and then back at me and he began to unravel the mystery. “What do you need boss?”

I smiled, “I need a ride home, but as soon as you are away from me – three feet it looks – you will forget you know me.”

Vin frowned, “Okay, I don’t like this but what about Alex?”

“I’ll tell Alex at dinner tonight – won’t be able to get around it. Seems I can’t turn off the recognition. So I’ll have to be careful while I figure out a way to undo this.”

Vin sighed, “This fucking sucks. I remember not remembering you.”

“I know. I remember not remembering too.”

Vin sighed, “Little man, you are so in for it when I remember all this again.”

Hunter grinned, and Vin hugged him, “Thank you.”

“My pleasure. Take care of my Dad.”

“Without a doubt.”

“Vin you should stick around. We’ll have to give you a reason that is plausible.”

Vin nodded, “Let’s get you home.”

He offered his hand, and I took it. I carried Hunter into the shadows and we walked to the new apartment I had never really called home.

“That’s why you wouldn’t let me leave.” I said with a nod. I agreed easily to Alex and even more so to Hunter. 

Alex took my hand and we were in nothingness. Well not nothingness there were lots of orbs of various colors. “Where are we?”

“Erebus.” Alex said calmly, “It’s the place between dreams.” Alex pointed to the bubble we stood next to. “This is me.” He ran his hand over the top of the light blue bubble and smiled, “Usually it’s not quite so shimmery.”

“Why is it shimmery?” I asked. “Can I touch it?”

Alex shrugged, “I guess. I’ve never brought anyone here before. It’s shimmery because you are here.” 

We blinked next to another bubble. It was tiny and hard and looked like it was a prison. “This is you.” Alex said. “I shouldn’t be able to enter your dreams with a shield like this. But I do all the time.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“You are. But you still leak like crazy.”

“What are all these lines?” I asked.

“Connections to people. Most dream walkers don’t see them. But your’s all get lost in a fog.”

“How come we didn’t see any around yours?” I asked.

“I can’t see my own.”

“I guess that’s fair. You’d know a lot more about the people who you’d meet.”

Alex smirked, “It does, but it would be nice to find the people I lose.”

I looked down, “So if you think I’m him, why don’t you follow the lines?”

“The fog…” Alex grinned. He tapped my head and took my hand. “Hunter is waiting.”

We blinked to another bubble, this one was poly-chromatic and shimmering as well. It flickered with images and Alex smiled, “He’s dreaming, which means he’s asleep.”

“Did you think he wouldn’t be?” I asked.

Alex shook his head, “No, but he has nightmares and he doesn’t always fall asleep quickly.” Alex smiled, “He takes after his Dad like that. His nightmares were a piec e of work.”

“Let me guess, darkness torture?”

Alex looked at me, “I guess you remember them?”

I shook my head. “No. But I have those dreams on occasion now.”

“Someone hurts you?” Alex grabbed my arm and turned me towards him.

“No. It’s just a dream. Not like you.”

Alex smiled. “You ready to see what Hunter wants to show you?”

“Is it scary?” I asked.

Alex smirked, “No, well to some it might be.”

But Alex didn’t give me much of a chance to say yes or no. We were inside the bright colorful dream. It was like a movie. “Where are we?” I asked.

“Central Park. Looks like Hunter’s favorite playground.”

We stood in the middle of the pathway and people flowed around us like we weren’t even there. “We aren’t.” Alex added out loud.

“That’s creepy you know?” I asked him.

He smirked without looking at me, his eyes drawn to the group of playing kids on the playground. I watched the same group and saw myself as the bottom of a pile of kids. Kids I didn’t even know.

Hunter and Cass and Drake, I was pretty sure that was his name – Alex’s kids – were all there. And several others I didn’t know.

“Most of them are pack.” Alex said, “Except Liam, he’s a friend of the family.”

Alex laughed, but the sound of his voice came from in front of us and I saw him walking up. “You think the big bad King of New York would be able to fend of little children.” He reached his hand into the middle of the puppy pile and pulled me out and into a soft kiss that the kids all said EWWW to at the same time.

“I remember that day, but I don’t remember you in it. I remember you offering to take the kids out of class for some much needed outside time. It was a day after we nearly lost them all when the Night Life building was attacked. I remember it all.”

I shook my head, “I don’t.”

Alex nodded, “I know. But this isn’t the future – it’s a memory.”

A small voice spoke below me, “I like memories Da.” He said, but he clung to my leg. “I like happy ones, these are so much better than my usual ones.”

I knelt down and smiled at Hunter, “What do you usually dream?”

He smiled but it was sad. His eyes lost that bright shine I loved about him. The world around us grew black and he pointed off in the direction we had been. We looked out on the city and it was dark. There was an orange glow on the horizon, and smoke drifted around the world. 

I looked around us and everything was black except for one building, it stood strong and powerful in the middle of the city – the lights shining brightly but they flickered on and off. Hunter frowned and wrapped his entire body around me. He cried.

“If you don’t remember, this won’t even happen.” 

The image flickered and it was daylight. The city was devastated. Ruins of twisted metal and concrete spotted the rubble. Not a soul alive. And then it was all gone. I was lying in my bed alone. Tears fell. I don’t know why I cried, but I did. Something about it all said something strong to me but I didn’t know what it was.

I couldn’t sleep after that. I flung my feet over the edge as my phone beeped an incoming message. I nearly jumped out of my skin, but I was quickly back to my senses. I grabbed my phone and headed up stairs for coffee. 

I’m sorry about the dream, and sorry it’s a load on your plate, but Hunter’s dreams always come true. And if he knows some meaning – there is nothing we can do to change it.

Alex’s text made me sad. The world was going to come to an end in our lifetime – but what was worse was that I didn’t even know what I needed to remember.

I wanted to go to bed immediately. But Alex had to get home first, and he probably wasn’t going to sleep right away either. For some reason I was pretty sure Alex wanted to keep me waiting. Leave me on the hook for a little longer, so that I wanted him more and more.

I’d say he didn’t know how much I wanted him, but he did. He could read my thoughts. I wondered how many telepaths there were in the world. It was scary thinking some where out there someone else knew what I was thinking. It didn’t bother me that Alex did. I actually sorta liked it. But he tended to see all the crazy that went on too. And that was bad.

I sighed as I climbed in the shower and took a long hot shower. I thought about Alex and all the things I wanted to be doing with him. How I had wanted him to come inside and I wanted to break my vow of only talking. He was coming over for dinner tomorrow. I’d cook for him, and I knew it would be terribly hard to keep my hands off of him. 

I was gone, too far gone to be able to control my body’s reaction to him, and in the shower I didn’t hide the fact, or the pleasure derived from those thoughts. I’d have kept myself wanting – needing Alex – but I wanted to behave, wanted to follow through, let Alex fall in love with me. Not the idea that I was what he was missing in his life.

He thought he was giving me time. But I was giving him time. Time to see me instead of his ex lover super hero.

I climbed into bed in only a pair of boxers and a tank top and sank into a restful sleep.

I woke in my dreams finding Alex lounging against a tree. “Hey.” I said.

Alex smiled but his eyes never opened as he patted the ground next to me, “You took your time.”

I laughed. “I took a shower.”

“A long shower.”

“Honestly, it could have been longer if my thoughts of you didn’t bring me over the edge when it did.” I said as I sat down next to him.

His smirk grew wider, into an almost smile. “You touched yourself while thinking about me?”

“Among other things.” I said.

Alex hummed deep in his throat and my body reacted to the guttural sound. “And you are so eager to go again.”

“It’s a dream I can have whatever stamina you need.”

Alex laughed and stood up. “Come with me.” He held out his hand and I sighed.

“I just sat down.”

Alex grinned, “I’m sorry. I want to show you something.”

I took his hand and in the next moment we weren’t where we were. Instead I was standing next to Alex – the real Alex on the sea shore. In the sand and my heart raced. “It’s okay Pretty Boy.” He whispered. “I’m here. It’s not real.”

I knew that, but it was sand… and I didn’t know why I was freaking out but I was.

Alex wrapped his arms around me and pressed his forehead into the back of my neck. He murmured soothing words and I felt his presence in my mind. “This is where I come to think.” He said softly.

“I can be me here. This is my dream.”

He pointed to a cabana house on the beach – one of many. “We can go sit on the porch.”

I nodded, and in the blink of an eye we were standing on the patio where no sand crept into the crevices of my mind. But Alex didn’t stop holding me as he turned me in his arms. “You okay?”

I nodded, “I’m with you.” I could feel those same thoughts from before trickling in my head. Thoughts of being in love, of wanting Alex, needing him.

He gave me a sad smile, “I don’t know if I can live up to all that.” He pulled away.

“Why do you have to be in my head?”

Alex shook his head, “It’s hard not to be. You are like an open book, I can’t help myself, and closing the book is something you’d have to do.”

“So tell me how?”

Alex sighed, “Thing is. Quinn and Cass both have a hard time reading you. The get a sense of it, but they can’t read you like someone else. But I don’t have that problem. It’s like there is a direct line into your head. The same reason why I’m drawn to you.”

“Soul mates.” I said and turned to face the water and look out on to the ocean floor. Leaning on the railing took me out of Alex’s reach and he didn’t seem to react. I was cold with the October ocean breeze. It wasn’t hot and sunny like I expected it to be. Why would you dream of an October beach?

I turned and looked back and Alex was gone. He’d left me alone in his dream? I willed myself to wake up but I couldn’t. It wasn’t my dream, was I even in my own body anymore? How did this work. Alex was a telepath, and a dream walker. The two seemed so far fetched that I wasn’t sure what was real and what was a dream. But I knew this was a dream.

I could feel my body under the blankets in my apartment. I could sense I was deeply asleep, but Alex had left me trapped in his dream.

“Not forever.” He whispered from behind me. “Someone woke me.” 

“Take me back to my dream so I can wake up.”

Alex shook his head. “Not yet. It wasnt’ an emergency. Hunter had a nightmare, he was crawling into bed with me. He locked the door when I told him I was dreaming with you. He wants to show you something if you’ll let him.”

I could have hopped a train. I could have started running. I could have done a lot of things, but I started walking home. The air was crisp – almost too cold without a jacket. I expect the vampire to follow me but when I looked behind me there was nothing but the empty street. Well not empty – regular people. People who knew nothing of the world around them. And I wished I was like them. Like I didn’t know vampires and werewolves existed. Or that I was some freak of nature and no one knew what I was. But what bothered me most of all was that I didn’t know who or what I was. Eleven weeks of hunting for myself, only to find there was a whole world hidden from me that seemed to be my life. 

I could feel it. I could feel the pull and the draw and I knew this life I was living right now was not mine. Alex posed the idea that I was his missing half. Maybe he wasn’t far from wrong. As much as I didn’t want to admit it.

I felt a distinct pull of my eye in front of me. A man standing against the building his arms crossed. If it were daylight I would know who it was by the glower in his ice blue eyes. But in the dark he just looked like an angry shadow.

I almost crossed the street before I got to him, but I figured Alex would just follow me anyway. But I didn’t stop and kept on walking past him. He growled under his breath and turned to follow me, matching pace easily.

“Why didn’t you just let Ant take you home? Now I have to walk you home.”

“You don’t have to do anything, Alex. I’m a big boy I can take care of myself.”

Alex growled again but he didn’t counter my comment with anything smart or demeaning as I expected him too. He knew I was right.

“I didn’t know you were going to fight in the ring.”

“I didn’t tell you.”

“Why?” Alex asked.

“It’s none of your business what I do in my free time.” I stated.

Alex stopped and even though I wanted to keep moving I stopped and turned to look at him. He ran his fingers through his hair. A frustrated move I knew. And my heart ached to see him like that. “So we are nothing?”

“I don’t know what we are.” I said. “You keep giving me weird signals.”

“Me?” Alex growled, “What the fuck about you!”

“I’m sorry.” I sighed and turned to keep walking

Alex caught up to me and grabbed my hand. He wasn’t trying to stop me as he entwined his fingers in mine and pulled me closer to him. He whispered, “I’m not walking you home because you can’t protect yourself.”

I smiled, “I know.”

Despite the words earlier we walked back in relative silence until we were a few blocks from Safe Harbor. Alex smiled, “Would you let Doc take a look at you? I don’t know if we can figure out what you are. Or anything, but maybe.”

“I’m just me. What does it matter what I am?” I sighed. “I don’t need to know what I am. If I’m meant to know it will work itself out.”

“Like it always does.” Alex said. “I still think…”

“I know what you think Alex. But let’s not go there. We obviously have feelings for each other.” I squeezed his fingers between mine. “Let’s just go with it.”

“You aren’t even remotely curious?” Alex asked as he walked me down the steps to my apartment.

“No. Well yes, but I don’t need to go poking the dragons and have them flambe me.” 

Alex chuckled. “Human dragon’s can spew fire.”

I blinked. I somehow knew that. “I don’t know if I want to be part of your world.”

Alex nodded, “Neither did I. But here I am.”

Alex took my keys from my hand and unlocked my door. He pushed it open and stood at the threshold. “Hunter plans on running away tomorrow to see you again. It would be best if he found you in the park instead of here. He’ll do it early.”

“You are going to let him?”

Alex smirked, “Only because he’s not doing it to be mean. He’s doing it because he thinks you are alone and you need a friend. And I agree.”

“But isn’t that setting a bad precedence?”

Alex laughed. “No because Izzy and Ant will punish him when he is found. Hunter never disobeys the rules. Cass usually has to make him do things she wants. He’s taken by you, now that he has found you. He knows things, things he won’t tell me. Things that he says would damage everything if I knew.”

I smiled, “I’ll be in the park in the morning then.” I stepped inside and turned to Alex who didn’t follow me, “Do you want to come in?”

Alex smirked, “I do, Pretty Boy, but that’s why I’m not going to. You need time. I don’t want you to think this is all about great sex.” He grabbed my t-shirt and pressed a long deep kiss to my lips. It turned hungry and passionate and when I took a step back to drag him inside he broke the kiss. “Time, Pretty Boy, give it some time. I’ll see you in your dreams.” 

He pressed his hand to my chest and made me back up as he grabbed the door knob and closed the door in front of me. Fuck! He had me all sorts of twisted up.