Yeah sorry. No time today. AJ’s fixing the computer at work which means I’m put to the side. My ego is so hurt right now. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
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Sharing time. Saw the prompt liked it enough that I convinced AJ to post mine… So first snippet don’t mind the grammar spelling and the inconsistencies it’s a very rough draft.
I followed with little resistance. Dorian opened his door and I was surprised to find it a stark difference from the rest of his living quarters. Where everything else was shades of gray, his bedroom was painted blue and everything else was bright and blue. The window let in sunlight. The rest of the house had been closed off to the sun. I stood staring in the doorway while Dorian went to the bathroom arond the corner. I could hear running water. I took a step inside. It was the first voluntary move I’d made. I smelled more cinamon and vanilla here than anywhere else in his house. I closed my eyes and took a slow deep breath.
I could feel the tension leaving with each breath. I opened my eyes and laid on my stomach across Dorian’s bed and I could smell Dorian all over the covering. I buried my face in the blue comfortor.
I felt Dorian sit down on the soft bed. I winced when he touched my back. “Garrett did this?”
I didn’t really know. I was doubting my sanity. “I don’t know.” It came out muffled and I had to turn my head to the side and I repeated myself. “I don’t know. I don’t know if he did it, or if he invaded my day dreams.” He’s never done that before.
Dorian nodded as he tenderly cared for the lashes across my back. Whatever he was putting on it stung and I could feel the increased crawling of my skin stiching itselft back together. I watched the man’s expression change as he applied the green looking salve to my back. Dorian asked, “You were day dreaming? About what?”
I could hear the hope in his voice and I looked over at him and he met my eyes. “Honestly. You. I was watching you walk away and thinking about … things”.
Dorian chuckled, “Things?”
“Do you really want me to spell it out, Dorian?” I sat up and turned towards him. His body was as close as humanly possibly to me without being in my lap.
Dorian felt uncomfortable or that’s the impression I got from the way he swallowed. I asked. “Do you want to know what I was thinking about, really Dorian?”
He nodded. I leaned in close and I could smell his perfect scent, the cinamon and vanilla were over top his scent but not. I could get lost in it. I whispered. “I was thinking about how much I wanted to kiss you. How much I wanted to see you naked. To touch your skin and feel your body against mine.”
Dorian’s breathing had increased and I could feel his warm breath against my neck. Dorian whispered. “I need to finish your back.” His voice sounded breathless and he didn’t really want to. But I pulled back and saw the lust in his eyes. He was fightin the temptation. I laid down on my stomach and let Dorian finish what he had started. His hands were delicate against my skin. I focused on each touch. My breath quickedn with each one. It wasn’t the intamacy I had been dreaming about since meeting him, but it was better – because it was free will and not about sex.
My back hurt less and the crawling had stopped. Dorian was wiping the excess salve from my back with a damp towel. When he was finished I felt the bed move and Dorian’s weight removed from the bed. I looked back at him and saw him unbuttoning his shirt. I turned around and sat up and watched him remove the button up shirt. As each button unfolded I saw the beginnings of a dark tattoo across his chest.
He wasn’t built like Jace or most other Venatori that I’d seen naked. I hadn’t really been with a scholarly type before. He had defined muscles everywhere but they were softer. The tattooo covered his chest and when he removed the shirt completely I saw it covered his arm from shoulder to just above his wrist. Dorian’s hand fled to his waist and I grabbed them and shook my head. “No.” I pulled him close to me between my legs and kissed his chest. “This is enough.” I licked and nibbled at his chest then looked up at him. “Is that okay?”
He nodded and pushed me backwards I crawled up higher on the bed and Dorian followed. His hot breathe against my skin. I pulled him to my lips and felt his soft lips against mine. He bit my lip softly and a moan escaped before I could stop it. Dorian’s mouth trailed along my chin and down to my ear and my throat. He used the perfect amount of tongue and teeth and I was putty in his hands. His hands were soft and gentle acrossed my body and I was in heaven touching the taunt soft skin of his back.
Dorian sat up abruptly and took my hands that had fallen to his thighs as he sat on my hips staring down at me. There was something primal in his eyes and it stirred things deep down inside. Dorian drew my hands above my head starting from my sides his hand caressing my skin. He pinned my hands there with both of his. His body on top of me. He kissed me deeply and I knew Dorian wanted to play rough. My mind started to panic. I wasn’t ready for that so soon after Garrett.
Dorian pulled back slightly and I managed to stutter out. “Yel..St..stop.”
Dorian sat up and let me go. I let my hands hang limp where he’d left them. “I’m sorry.”
Dorian got up and I followed him. “Dorian…Stop.”
He did and I pressed my body against his back wrapping my arms around his waist. “Just not today.”
-
Things definitely did not go according to plans. But in my honest opinion it’s the better version of the whole story. A final culmination of what AJ has been building. AJ has written the first part of this story a total of 5 times now from scratch each time and each time it keeps changing. This time I think it works best for the entirety of the whole story.
I’m just wow. And all because one little thing changed – one little event changed everything in the first part of the story. It threw my life into chaos quickly.
Part I is completed, two more to go. AJ reports there are 45,670 words in that first part.
If you want to read let me know and I’ll have AJ send you a copy of the work in progress. But be warned spelling and grammar are going to be shit. Word spewing is not a pretty thing!
Maybe we’ll get back to me really shouting things about me later, but right now AJ’s preoccupied with camp nano so I’m stuck inside this story and just want to share, but I can’t!
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I’m terrified of needles. I have two tattoos however. The first I got while I was drunk at 16, the other I was on a ceremonial hallucinogen that every Venatori is required to take and the tattoo to get..
But since I have had a few talks with my father over the past ten years he’s let slip several tidbits of things he’s seen in my future. I don’t know what any of the images mean. But I’ve been drawing them a lot lately. The lastest drawing is in the back of my current sketch book. It’s a tree much like the tattoo pictured, with those objects entwined in the bar limbs or roots of the tree or just idly setting around it. IF and that’s a bit if, I were to ever go under the need again that’s what I do. Left side of my chest wrapping around to my the limbs trailing up my shoulder.
Tattoo at back of my neck
Tattoo right temple
One day maybe (similar) -
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Perfect happiness is being safe. Safe in my surroundings, safe in the knowledge that I belong. safe from harm and hurt.
What is your greatest fear?
That’s pretty much goes with with is perfect happiness – my greatest fear is not being safe – able to be broken or hurt.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I don’t like that I’m egotistical at times – usually the wrong one. It’s gotten me into trouble more times than not.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Dishonesty is the worst trait someone can have. I hate being lied to.
Which living person do you most admire?
Kai Viddens. He was my hero as a child. He is my hero now. Even now that I know he is my father even though I despised my father as a child and I’m still bitter about it but I’m trying.
What is your greatest extravagance?
I don’t really have any extravagances. I just started having my own spending money. If I had to say I was extravagant anywhere it would be with my food choices.
What is your current state of mind?
My mind is almost always in turmoil and anxious. I fight it everyday. I wake to nightmares and fight them off every day and live them each night.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Temperance. Moderation is key to many things, but sometimes you need to just do what you need to until you are full of it.
On what occasion do you lie?
I lie everyday I’m in the human world. It’s the law – not human law but my law – the Clandestine Providence states that a human must not know the supernatural world unless under extreme circumstances.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
The same thing I’ve always disliked – too tall and skinny. I’ve done what I can to bulk out but there is only so much one can do without being in the gym completely day in and day out.
Which living person do you most despise?
My father – living. But I’m working on that.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
I crave honesty in any relationship.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Same question different gender.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I probably overuse Duckling when referring to a woman.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
The greatest love of my life is probably my magical ability. Bending elements gives me such a rush, it’s the only time that I’m special.
When and where were you happiest?
I don’t think I have ever been truly happy. So if I had to choose it is likely the years before I came to the Academy – before I sparked and my mother sent me away.
Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to remember things without having to study them too hard – a photographic memory.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
There is nothing I would change about myself. I’m not saying that there aren’t things I wished didn’t happen, or that I wasn’t. But I am happy in the man I’ve become, so nothing.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
My greatest achievement was probably becoming the strongest and youngest Cesari to graduate from the Academy in generations.
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
Can I say stripper pole? No, really. Um, probably a dragon.
Where would you most like to live?
I’d love to live in the penthouse apartment of the tallest building in the world with a door to the balcony so I can jump from it.
What is your most treasured possession?
I don’t own anything. No Venatori really does. Of the things I do I would have to say my zippo lighter. Jace gave it to me for a birthday present one year. Before that my favorite possession I hadn’t had since I was five – a little stuff toy – mushu the dragon from mulan.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
deep breath Being broken by things that you cannot control. Whether it be because you cannot or that you are unwilling to try.
What is your favorite occupation?
Not a Venatori hunter that’s for sure. I love hunting for the sport of it, but the job sucks. A favorite occupation would have to be one where I could stay home and raise my family but still make a difference to that job.
What is your most marked characteristic?
My fake ego – or real one if you get to know me well enough.
What do you most value in your friends?
Honesty.
Who are your favorite writers?
AJ laughs I am AJ’s creation after all. But if I had to pick someone else I urban fantasy, so Laurell K Hamilton (Anita Blake/Merideth Gentry), Patricia Briggs (Mercedies Thompson), Jim Butcher (Dresdin Files), Clarissa Clare (Shadowhunters)
Who is your hero of fiction?
Strider/Aragon from Lord of the Rings… he stepped up when he had to.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
I don’t know I hate history.
Who are your heroes in real life?
My father. Too similar to the other question asked.
What are your favorite names?
I like unisex names: Dakota, Hayden, Hunter, Quinn, Sydney, Payton, Reese, Taylor
What is it that you most dislike?
Dishonesty.
What is your greatest regret?
My greatest regret is that I could never be with Jace in the way he wanted me to be. I needed him too much to take him as a lover to be more than just friends. I couldn’t risk things breaking between us. I still can’t.
How would you like to die?
I’d not like to die any time too soon so I’m going to have to say of old age surrounded by my loved ones, but as a hunter that’s not likely to happen.
What is your motto?
Fear will not overcome me.
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It’s already past noon, and AJ’s been working hard and writing in between spare moments. And I’m being lazy cause AJ’s so busy. I really don’t want to drop my posting streak cause there is no inspiration. At least not inspiration we can share with you.
I can say we are about to hit the end of Act I, and it didn’t get there the way AJ planned. I imagine it’ll go down in the end like it’s supposed to. But hey that’s what outlines are for.
AJ has a new persona for me running around the interwebs – tiny fairy boy who’s musically magically inclined but a royal screw up. Sounds like me minus the music. It was this character that inspired my latest and greatest look. Well at least the culmination of it.
So now I get to strut around with dyed black hair, with colored tips that fall in front of my face – all emo style. Sides shaved and guyliner and everything. A real fairy lol. Though I’m not as flamboyant as the character AJ based it off of. I can be if I wanted to dress it up, but I’m still the t-shirt and jeans guy.
Enough rambling for the day. I got a post in but you ain’t getting a picture… deal with it!
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AJ is working on Camp NaNoWriMo at the moment – writing my introduction story. The how it all begins type thing. AJ’s on target for the writing goal of 75K – though this past weekend was a bust writing.
Despite that set back, AJ has introduced a character too early. It blends the story together better, but it threw several kinks into the story. Scenes have been rearranged and relationships have been brought forward before they were ready. But it’s not something that’s forced. It’s natural. At least AJ hopes so. It’s hard to tell when it’s just word spewing and no one is following along say that was too fast or that was wrong.
Anyway. I’m at the point where I’m completely confused about things in my life. I’ve alluded to some of it here. The I want a family. I want safety. I’ve alluded to who the one is for me. I’m not going to spoil the story. But with this new hiccup in the outline there are so many mixed signals. I don’t know what to think. What to feel. The direction is great. But every direction AJ has gone has been great. But this rewrite seems to be much more dark in terms of revealing my secrets. The dark secrets only Jace really knows. And maybe Margo. The two people who know me inside out, backwards and forwards.
My world is about to get flummoxed and I have no idea where it’s going. AJ does to a degree but there is no telling where it will go.
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What do I believe in? Honestly things are quite believable. I believe in monsters and magic, but I don’t believe there is a god or some higher being. The world is a lot stranger than most people think.
I am far more Ventorai than I am human in my belief system. As I said I believe in magic and monsters. However I don’t completely agree with how the Venatori work. In these beliefs I’m more like other supernatural cults. The Venatori need to be curb interms of their policing. We aren’t the end and all be all to how the world should run.
I’ve grown up being the odd man out because I was half human. It came with the gig and I didn’t think anything of it until I started hunting myself. I was tasked with going after rogue elements of the supernatural community. Mind you the rules have changed drastically since the Venatori first started doing this. The supernatural creatures have certain rights that everyone agrees to, but even then I don’t think we should be the judge jury and executioner of the supernatural world. Who made us the law?
I live by my views. My kill count over the last three years has been a grand total of 3. That is three times where my life has been in danger and the only way to save my bacon was to kill the creature.
My first mission was to kill a ghost who was murdering people. It started off with the ghost killing their murderer or so we assumed. It ended up in a little girl who killed her parents. It was with in my right to kill the little girl. I didn’t. I exorcised her and saved the child. She sends me letters every year now, citing she sees dead people and is helping them move on. Good for her to take up the helm of medium when the world would tell her she’s crazy.
The supernatural world should have one law, but it shouldn’t be dictated by the Venatori. It should be something everyone agrees on and not just the Venatori’s job to fullfil those judgments. But hey what do I know, I’m just a half human kid who has nothing else going for him.
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Define love? I know what I want it to be – unconditional, irreplaceable and unmoveable. But love is hardly that. People throw it around and don’t mean it. I love you. I love this painting. I love pizza. Love.
Children love unconditionally. There are always those who say you teach a child to hate. I have never loved anyone like that, not that I remember anyway. I did before I was 5, I’m sure.
Love shouldn’t be given just because it’s nice to think about. It should mean something when someone says I love you. Love means you’ll be there no matter what a person says or does. Love means they can be mad at you and not like you but there is always love to bind you together through it all. It isn’t something that should be given lightly or because someone is your blood. Love should be forever.
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This could be taken one of two ways and since I’m bored, I’ll do both. What are my ‘dreams’ as in my aspirations? I aspire to be fair. Not kind, or just but fair. I don’t expect someone to treat me good because I deserve it. I expect a person to treat me how I treat them. I expect people to behave in such ways as they’d want things to run.
I know life isn’t fair, I’ve had my share of shit happen to me – probably a lot more than others. I’m not religious by any means but there are a few things that the bible says that I do beleive should hold true – do unto others as you’d have done unto you.
I know I’m an ass. I don’t expect people to treat me any other way. But I beleive that each crime should have an equal and opposite punishment. Fairness isn’t about treating each other exactly the same. It’s treating the problem with the correct solution. Robbing a bank doesn’t constitute death – killing someone yes. A life for a life. The Venatori see things differently they beielve they are the end all and be all to the supernatural world and it’s laws. It shouldn’t be the same sentence for the different crimes. There has to be a better way.
I just want to be fair.
The second aspect of dreams is what do you actually dream about. Most people would not think twice about answering the first way. But since I recall every dream I’ve had for the past 20 plus years practially my dreams mean something else off the top of my head. My fears plague my dreams. Specifically one fear.
I dream the same thing everynight. The familiar voice of my mother in the darkness behind a pair of glowing red eyes berating me for being a monster. Tenticales of earth and fire raining down on my body. Blood dripping from the freshly made scars before my body starts the creepy crawly stiching of itself back togehter. The voice changing to a man controlling my darkest moments. Telling me the type of person I am, making me listen and conform to his commands. The tentacles continuing their pumpling of my body before I start awake as the face of my demons comes into view.
Every night I wake to that face. Every night I wake up sweating and breathing hard. Every night my dreams haunt me.
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When I first saw this prompt I was like – oh great another flying metaphor. I went searching for a background image and I found this one. So what started out as a fear has turned into food! I love food!
However, that being said. I love to cook food of any type. I have fried food for Jace and his family and I’ve even cooked for Dae’lin and Margo. My repertoire tends towards healthy things. I’m a sucker for roasting things slowly in the oven.
I haven’t tried smoking yet, mostly due to space and the fact that I don’t have the means to do so. But if I ever go back to New York. I need to make a special purchase for Jace’s house. I’m sure he and Mia would love to have more food they didn’t have to cook. That’s what great about Mia. She likes to feed me, but she also likes when I take over her kitchen. I’ve cooked for entire parties at their house over the past several years.
The one thing I don’t do is bake. Just not my thing, and too close to my mother for my liking. Yes I have issues.
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This only brings to mind one thing. And I’ve already detailed the circumstances.
Even though it was my own ability doing the ‘strapping’ it still caused a rift in my head – a place where fear dwells. Between this and my mother abandoning me I suffer from PSTD. And I already had a case of OCPD which only got worse the more I tried to deal with PSTD without being honest with Margo.
Around the age of 8 I started listening to her. I conquered my fear of heights to a degree I can ride an elevator without freaking out. It’s not comfortable and I still have panic attacks but I can do it. It won’t kill me. This lead me to be more honest with her than I had the past two years.
I didn’t tell her about the abuse then. I honestly haven’t told her yet either. I’m 29 and I’ve not told my therapist I was abused at the age of 5. She knows something happened but what I’ve kept her in the dark.
Maybe the next time I go home I’ll tell her. God knows when that will be though.
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The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew,To a Mouse, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest with the Plough by Robert Burns in 1785
Most notably the title speaks of John Steinback’s book. I don’t recall much of it only that Lennie is a big giant of a man who loves to pet soft things. He breaks a girls neck and his friend George shoots him in the head out of love/mercy because of the lynch mob that’s about to get him.
The whole thing reminds me of the Green Mile and Bugs Bunny cartoons “I’ll hug him and squeeze him and call him George.”
But the title comes from the quote above a poem about a mouse and how man has destroyed her home. Yet the man still feels sorry for himself after knowing what the mouse is going through.
It’s the most known tactic in combat. You can plan all you like but once you start the fight you your plan isn’t going to work. I wish my mother would have understood that. Understood that her way wasn’t going to work – the were bear had killed others for entering her home. If I’d gone first I would have protected myself with more than a gun. Fire and Air and Earth form a better shield than a tactical vest and cotton t-shirt.
Regrets…
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My mother had a rose bush outside our house in Colorado. Thankfully the smell of a roses doesn’t mother me, or remind me of my mother. It reminds me of my Nanny. A woman who took care of me for five years while my mother hunted.
She was a dragon. At the time I didn’t believe her. I was five. Dragon’s weren’t real.
But my Nanny use to sit by the rose bush and we would talk for hours. She would sing me songs I couldn’t understand. Tell me stories about her home or tales since long forgotten by man. But she remembered.
I miss her. I wish I remembered more about her. Knew her name. I’d like to thank her for those times by the rose bush and for the eternal care she had given me.
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Shallow? Conceited? Concerned with the superficial? I suppose that fits me to a degree. It’s what I pretend to be. Where looks matter. Where I’m the center of attention and don’t really care about anyone else.
That’s who I am to most people. But it’s a front – a means to push people away.
I can take things too far, but I try not to hurt others on purpose. But sometimes it happens.
It all boils down to wanting to not get hurt. I don’t let you close, those, like Jace, who see through my bullshit are the ones I usually end up letting in. It’s a rare connection but once I have it I try my best to maintain that level of trust. Jace and I joke around but we both know it’s just that a joke. He’s my best friend, I would never do anything to hurt him.
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I like men. If ya ain’t figured that one out yet you aren’t paying attention. Now ask me why, and I can’t give you an answer. Ask AJ, the only answer you are going to get is because it made sense.
My fictional life isn’t some statement on AJ’s part about equality. It’s not a way to explore the ‘dirty’ side of the mind. That can be done just as easily any other way. It made sense. And a companion character in a game required that orientation. Alright, AJ is a soft gamer – loves to play RPGs on the computer. And in classic Bioware standards Dragon Age: Inquisition had romance options.
All the options were kinda eh, not something that ever felt like this makes the game worth playing (again and again). The game was great by the way. But there was one character – Dorian Pavus – a gay wizard from the evil Tevinter who inspired AJ.
Dorian was a perfect character – funny, handsome, witty and someone AJ always takes out into the game world – just for the banter. First run through was a chick – all well and good, but no Dorian romance – became best friends fell in love with Dorian anyway at least AJ did.
Dorian Pavus inspired AJ to write Dorian Vega at The First Age, in a fan fiction staring my cohort Aria (AJ’s then main persona), me (in my FA guise) and Dorian. The story derailed FA Nox’s personal life to the point that it didn’t really make sense not with past interactions with other same sex characters. So AJ did what the same thing done to Cari/Matalina back in the day and created a world just for little ole me. Here we are present day. I have several iterations of my personality running around AJ’s head but I’m her favorite! (ego much? yes of course)
So spoiler – Dorian will show up in my life and turn it upside down all because of a video game.
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The ruler of the Venatori is a kind old man who I’ve never really met. He’s been the leader for 40+ years and he is the main face of the Venatori and of the Apex Unlimited building – even though Dr. Asher Eriksen owns the company and the building. His son will inherit the CEO gig when he turns 25 as per all Eriksen son’s have in the past.
Mark Green is a strong man, but he’s got a good heart. Some believe he’s making the Venatori soft and other’s believe that he is heading in the direction of the times as per all leaders before him.
His job isn’t an easy one. He has to communicate with a bunch of other supernatural organizations and none of them want to talk. There is bad blood and there will always be conflict.
Some in the supernatural world believe Mark Green thinks he’s ruler over it all. He is powerful – the most powerful Magnus to have lived in his life time – well except for me or so I’m told. I could technically rule all if I wanted to. The leader of the Venatori is determined by who is the strongest Magnus – and in theory that’s men. My capabilities and power scale in comparison is greater than our illustrious leader.
There are two ways to take power – challenge the leader or have it handed to you from your predecessor. I don’t see Mark Green grooming me to take over any time soon. Nor do I believe anyone would willingly follow a Minorem as leader of the Venatori. I’m too human for them.
Not that I want to lead mind you. I’ll stick to my sheep status for as long as I possibly can.
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I’m working on the thrid and hopeful draft of Nox’s initial story for Camp NaNoWriMo in April. I won’t be publishing it here. But if you’d like to follow along as we go through this journey I’d love to send you a link to the dropbox folder where a pdf, epub, or mobi file is stored for every change I add to the story.
It will be very rough and very undone but I would love to hear what you have to say about the story as it’s being written.
So you can comment here leaving your email address or shoot me (ajs.voices@gmail.com) an email with your email address and I will give you that link.
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I schedule nearly everything. Though I’m not nearly as bad as Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory – I don’t schedule the bathroom. Not that anal about things.
I’m not much of a multi-tasker. My mind gets stuck in one mode until it’s done. A lot of that has to do with the training Dae’lin gave me. Everything had a time and a place, it’s probably why I was a loud and obnoxious too since she required complete concentration and silence.
My days look nearly identical.
Up with my nightmares around 4 am. If not my alarm goes off at 4:30 in which I’m up and out the door for a morning run, a yoga routine or a bodyweight workout – all depending on the day and my mood.
5:30 I’m in the shower and breakfast and by 6:15am I’m out the door ready for the day to begin. Which on the road means I’m hunting or researching whatever task is on my list for that day.
I eat lunch around 11:30.
I’m back in the gym, running or some other form of vigorous exercise by 6pm.
By 6:30 I’m showering – again.
7pm is a slow dinner.
And I’m in bed around 11pm.
I schedule what I eat as well, but I won’t get into that right now. It revolves around alot of chicken and vegetables!
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I’ve never been much of a daydreamer. I’m not much of a looking towards the future or wondering what my life would be like if X were to happen to me.
Yes, I wanted out of my current situation. I wasn’t happy. I want change but the only way you get to what you want is you have to work towards it. Daydreams are fun and all, but they don’t help you reach that goal.
I wanted to graduate. So I worked my ass off to be the best damned hunter I could be.
I wanted to be healthy and confident and secure in who I am. So I pretend that was me. I was confident while scared shitless on the inside until one day I wasn’t afraid anymore. I am still that boy who is afraid of things – many things, but I don’t let my fears rule me anymore.
Day dreams are great as long as you don’t sit around wishing and you are acting upon those dreams.
Camp NaNoWriMo April edition starts tomorrow and I’ll be busily working away at my word count. I will keep a running update in sections like this. -
Trapped in a situation you can’t get out of? It sucks. My first year in the Academy I was trapped in that type of situation. My mentor was abusing me. I will admit this now to a few people – mainly myself but still I admit it now.
But had I said something all those years ago there would still be no proof of the abuse. It would have been his word against mine. And the only physical signs were things he made me do to myself.
One could say that it was my own mind making me do those things to myself, but I know better. He knows better.
Every Venatori has a gift. Some are subtle like photographic memory or reading patterns. Others are very useful like understanding languages immediately or seeing into the future. And then there are the dangerous ones like mind control and dream walking. The dangerous ones are kept under strict controls but only if you are cataloged at some point in your life.
My mentor Garrett Spencer was one of many rare cases with two mild abilities one he claims openly – empathy and the second not at all – dream walking.
The only way Garrett could get me to spark was through fear and the only thing I really feared at a young age that he could manipulate instantaneous responses was through violence. Hitting children is against the law in nearly every culture. Children are the future and all that. So he would set me into a sleep state at each session and beat me in my dreams.
Manipulating one’s dreams isn’t dangerous in and of itself, but it is when the manipulator can make you do something in your dreams you wouldn’t otherwise do. Such as creating threads of hot razor sharp air that could cut your skin and mimic the dream world. Which is to say what he did. And since patterns aren’t caught on camera and with enough clothes on because of super healing no one was the wiser except for the scars that it left behind because of the frequency of them.
The manipulation didn’t stop when the class did. He tormented my nights. And those dreams are what I see every night. I’m far enough away from him, the connection to me is weak, but I know he still peaks into my nightmares from time to time only to make sure that they are exceptionally cruel that night. It is one reason I stay away from the City voluntarily – my nightmares aren’t quite so bad.
The Mind of Nox 