My Dreams

This could be taken one of two ways and since I’m bored, I’ll do both. What are my ‘dreams’ as in my aspirations? I aspire to be fair. Not kind, or just but fair. I don’t expect someone to treat me good because I deserve it. I expect a person to treat me how I treat them. I expect people to behave in such ways as they’d want things to run.

This could be taken one of two ways and since I’m bored, I’ll do both. What are my ‘dreams’ as in my aspirations? I aspire to be fair. Not kind, or just but fair. I don’t expect someone to treat me good because I deserve it. I expect a person to treat me how I treat them. I expect people to behave in such ways as they’d want things to run.

I know life isn’t fair, I’ve had my share of shit happen to me – probably a lot more than others. I’m not religious by any means but there are a few things that the bible says that I do beleive should hold true – do unto others as you’d have done unto you.

I know I’m an ass. I don’t expect people to treat me any other way. But I beleive that each crime should have an equal and opposite punishment. Fairness isn’t about treating each other exactly the same. It’s treating the problem with the correct solution. Robbing a bank doesn’t constitute death – killing someone yes. A life for a life. The Venatori see things differently they beielve they are the end all and be all to the supernatural world and it’s laws. It shouldn’t be the same sentence for the different crimes. There has to be a better way.

I just want to be fair.

The second aspect of dreams is what do you actually dream about. Most people would not think twice about answering the first way. But since I recall every dream I’ve had for the past 20 plus years practially my dreams mean something else off the top of my head. My fears plague my dreams. Specifically one fear.

I dream the same thing everynight. The familiar voice of my mother in the darkness behind a pair of glowing red eyes berating me for being a monster. Tenticales of earth and fire raining down on my body. Blood dripping from the freshly made scars before my body starts the creepy crawly stiching of itself back togehter. The voice changing to a man controlling my darkest moments. Telling me the type of person I am, making me listen and conform to his commands. The tentacles continuing their pumpling of my body before I start awake as the face of my demons comes into view.

Every night I wake to that face. Every night I wake up sweating and breathing hard. Every night my dreams haunt me.