Today’s word bend doesn’t exactly fit any words we are going to talk about today. AJ has been watching Outlander. The male role lead, Jaime was strapped before she met her. Which pulled at some heart strings for me and my story and the brutality of what was done to me.
But first the train of thought bend went to willow reeds bending in the wind. Another name for cat tails and then that lead to the whips and thus we end up on this topic. It was horrific watching the beating on the screen. AJ turned away when flesh fell from his body. The imagery was intense. And AJ had a pang of guilt for putting me through it.
There are no scenes in my story that ever evoked that sort of response from AJ, she was never able to put the actual horror to words. And I am grateful we don’t dwell on the imagry of those whips of light coming down upon my back so that I spark or don’t spark based on my control. For a year I went through with just a dream — no mark on my five year old body. It wasn’t until that fear was no longer controlled by Garrett that the scars took my body.
My own mind formed the whips that buried into my back leaving the marks. It was the demon/nightmare that hurt me and I blamed Garrett for many a year. I didn’t know about the other until Alex saved me from it. My fear was far more appetizing when it was my own body causing the damage. I am not surprised it didn’t want to let me go.
I’m looking forward to the rewrite of book two — Taking Back Erebus. It’s contents will be different but the story of defeating my own personal demons is not. I don’t know if AJ will in corporate more graphic scenes when we go to add in details. We will only know for certain when we get there. But this next year is all about The Call of the Dragon.