This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. AJ, herself, has to deal with it on a parental level in multiple capacities. And she wonders if maybe she too should talk to a therapist. But right now, this is our therapy — her therapy, talking to all of you through me.
In story AJ has attempted to stick me in an asylum twice. And both times AJ has ditched the story because of reasons I’m not sure we really understand. It’s not a taboo or anything, it’s more like the story doesn’t add to anything. At least not yet.
But I struggle in my day to day life with massive anxiety. Yes, I’m a fictional character, and if you think AJ writes it all wrong say something. (My email is nox.durante@gmail.com)
Anyway, AJ does reading on it for me, and for her daughters. And I don’t just suffer from anxiety and depression, the aversion to change, and my way is the right way all come from the OCPD. My compulsions make sense — to me, to others too. But it’s the inability to adapt to the change that makes it a disorder. At least that is our understanding of a mild case of OCPD. Or a possible scenario of a diagnosis. Again not a doctor here. So we could be wrong, and we do try to keep the actual disorder name out of it. And just trap it all in with who I am. And the things I deal with daily.
What’s ironic is that AJ’s Alpha reader shared a video with us captioning the message with “for when nox is feeling self destructive…” And it fits well with today’s prompt.
So for anyone who is feeling low, or like life can’t get better know it can and it will, if you can just get past this moment. And each moment you keep telling yourself that and trying things will get better. And listen to this song, it says it so much better than I can.
I’m going to post the lyrics because they are that important!
I heard that you've been Self-medicating in the quiet of your room, Your sweet, suburban tomb. And if you need a friend, I'll help you stitch up your wounds. I heard that you've been Having some trouble finding your place in the world. I know how much that hurts, But if you need a friend Then please just say the word You've come this far, You're all cleaned up, You've made a mess again, There's no more trying, Time to sort yourself out Hold on tight, This ride is a wild one, Make no mistake, The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done, Now don't lose your fight, kid, It only takes a little push to pull on through, With so much left to do, You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you. I heard that you've been Having some trouble finding your place in the world. I know how much that hurts, And if you need a friend Then please just say the word You've come this far, You're all cleaned up, You've made a mess again, There's no more trying, Time to sort yourself out Hold on tight, This ride is a wild one, Make no mistake, The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done, Now don't lose your fight, kid, It only takes a little push to pull on through, With so much left to do, You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you. Grit your teeth, pull your hair, Paint the walls black and scream, "Fuck the world 'Cause it's my life, I'm gonna take it back, " And never for a second blame yourself. Hold on tight, This ride is a wild one, Make no mistake, The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done, (No, you can't cover up) (One, two, three, four!) Hold on tight, This ride is a wild one (This ride is a wild one), Make no mistake, The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done, Now don't lose your fight, kid (Don't lose your fight, kid), It only takes a little push to pull on through (push to pull on through), With so much left to do You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you
And I’ll listen (AJ will listen) if you need the sympathetic ear.
The Mind of Nox 