What’s This?

I wasn’t feeling much better by the time I got back to my place but I was doing a little better, my breathing was at least normal. At least until I opened my door and found several large crates sitting just inside the door. On top of one of the large wooden boxes as a paper bag stuffed full of clothes, and a note tented next to it.

The note read:

I let myself in. Abby says you don’t own much, and we were getting rid of the clothes, and I figured you might like these things on loan. I hung some clothes in the bathroom, figured you might like to wear something more than jeans and a t-shirt on our date tonight. See you soon! ~Alex

How was I going to open the crates? Why would a guy I hardly know give me a loan on anything specially whatever was large enough to put in these crates. I sighed as I pulled the paper bag and dumped it on the bed.

A bunch of t-shirts with sarcastic sayings. Some looked like they had been worn alot, and others looked nearly new. I tugged my hoodie off and looked at the plain shirt I’d bought, and grinned down at the shirt with it’s silly saying. “Me, Normal?”

It seemed to fit Rider and his family. No one there seemed to care they acted a little bit strange. But then who was I to judge, I didn’t even remember who the fuck I was.

I pulled my t-shirt off and tried the shirt on. I wasn’t surprised it fit. But I was more curious what was in the boxes and what was hanging in my bathroom. I checked the bathroom first – that wouldn’t require me to go hunting a crow bar.

My bathroom was spotless, everything neatly in it’s place, except for the dark blue button down shirt and a pair of black slacks to go with it. There was a lighter blue t-shirt hanging beneath the button down – I was pretty sure it matched the color my hair had been died eleven weeks ago. I liked the color – it was the color of my dream guys eyes. And Alex’s too now that I thought about it. I had a thing I guess.

My tips had grown a little but the salon had found the matching color with a little trial and error and I was back to wearing the full tipped out color I liked. And I knew I liked it because I felt strange when it had grown to look scraggly and very little color after the trim I’d gotten.

There were things I continued to do after waking up. I wore thick swaths of eye liner in black. Sometimes I played with it and chose a different color but I always wore it. My nails were always painted. Abby enjoyed painting them for me so they weren’t always black like I preferred, but Abby made sure I never chipped a nail. If I did she was taking it all off and applying yet another coat liberally. It was relaxing, but she never wanted the favor returned so it was just me getting my nails done. Will laughed at the fact I let her pamper me that way. 

I had a few things, I thought to myself that made me feel comfortable in my own skin. And sleeves had been one of them. I don’t think anyone short of a few accidental walk ins by Abby had seen the tattoos that marked my body. I had no idea what they meant. And in the t-shirt two of them stood out clearly. Their colors seemed to fade, and I swore they moved, but I could stare at them for hours and see nothing but yet the next time I’d look without thinking they were slightly turned, or the color had shifted. 

I ran my fingers over the one on my left forearm. It was special. I knew that much. I felt a connection to it that I didn’t exactly understand. The other one higher up on my outer arm on my bicep I couldn’t see all of it but it was always strong, it felt close and then sometimes far away. I couldn’t tell you what it was all.

There were two close to my heart that made me smile every time I saw them. They seemed to dance with each other. I know they moved but again not something I could ever see with my eyes.

There were more, a few on my back, and a couple on my thighs. All of them a series of dots with galaxy like patterns behind them. They reminded me of the stars in my dream landscaped sky. I should look for them when I’m there tonight.

Tonight…. what was I going to do. What if things went well with Alex? I didn’t expect to end up in his bed. But I also hoped that I’d at least get a goodnight kiss. The thought sent shivers through my body. But I was totally in love with the guy in my dreams – but he was a dream. Eleven fucking weeks of wanting to kiss him ending in a flurry of strange encounters. Maybe I should focus on what was in front of me – the real person. He was nice – my boss but still nice.

It was early yet, but I moved the clothes that hung on my shower door to the the hook behind the door and decided I should take a shower and get ready. I was a nervous mess, maybe that would all help. I could look in the boxes later – or maybe Alex can tell me what’s inside when he picks me up. Either way it was a later task, I had to do something about the anxiety and tension growing in my body. A shower and play sounded like a good thing – relax before seeing Alex and letting all the tension built up make me antsy.