I feel asleep on my bed with my clothes on to the thoughts of my blue eyed boy and his hot lips. I wanted him so bad and I was waiting in my strange landscape for him to show up but a noise outside jerked me awake. I growled at myself for having fallen asleep so early and without a shower. Rough day, and the fight only made me feel like I had expended way more energy than I had at the moment.
I crawled off my bed and to the door in the dark. I didn’t flip the porch light on, I didn’t need it to see, the street lamps outside reflected on every shiny surface anyway. And what I found was not unexpected, but the same four guys from before were blocking Abby from the steps up to her apartment.
“Don’t you learn anything?” I said from the stairs. “Leave them alone.”
One of the guys growled at me, I swear his eyes flashed the amber color of a feral wolf as he pushed me hard. I fell backwards down the stairs. “Nox.” Abby called out and that was the last thing I heard before the darkness took me whole.
I didn’t wake in my landscape. I stayed in the darkness. My heart pounded. Fog rolled in to the dim red light of a past nightmare. I felt like I was drowning. I tried to swim, flailed my arms and tried to stay a float but the more I struggled the more I felt like water was engulfing me.
A hand grabbed mine and pulled me ashore. “What the hell?”
The voice made me quiver as I clung to him, my body soaked, my mind wrapped in darkness. He pressed his face to my neck, “Shhh. It’s okay. I got you.”
And he did have me. I pulled away from him and walked away, the landscape had changed, it wasn’t the darkness, and it wasn’t my clearing. It was an empty white room, with a white bed, and a window that looked out upon the clearing I so looked forward to. The window was open and there was a light breeze making the white curtains flutter in the wind. The only color were bins full of toy blocks. The kind you stacked as a kid and your friends knocked over with laughter.
“I’m sorry.” I said. I paced. My heart was racing. I hadn’t felt like this in ages. The fear, the terror of things I didn’t remember.
I shook my head, “No. But I can’t wake up either.” I tried, but when I did the darkness took me again, and I felt like I was drowning.
He watched me as I stepped back into the light, he’d kept me tethered to him with just a glance. I had to look away. “What’s wrong Pretty boy?”
I closed my eyes, I loved when he called me that, those two little words meant almost as much as my name from his lips might sound. “Nothing.”
He laughed, “I know you, you can’t ever stop looking at me. If you aren’t looking into my eyes you are staring at my lips. I’d almost say you wanted to kiss me since we met.”
“I did but you don’t so…” I stepped back towards the shadows, maybe drowning was better than the rejection I felt at the moment.
“I’m sorry about that. My life is complicated. There are two guys.”
I shook my head, “You don’t have to explain. I get it, I’m just a dream.”
“You are more than a dream. You know that. This is more than just a dream.” he said. His blue eyes were staring back at me in the body of that same actor. He moved without really moving and was in front of me. The dream was like that sometimes.
“Yeah but you are never you. You don’t want to know my name. So I’m just a dream.” I looked up into his blue eyes and I saw pain in them. “Let’s just forget today. Forget the kiss, just go back to the flirting and the fun. I need this.”
He laughed, “I can’t forget that kiss. Fuck, Pretty Boy, I’ve thought of nothing since.”
I turned away from him so he didn’t see the tears falling. “I need you to leave because I can’t.” I stepped into the shadows and kept walking. I walked into the darkness and I kept walking. Past the fog and the red dim lights. I walked farther then I’d ever thought possible in nothing but complete darkness. He didn’t follow. He hadn’t even said anything as I walked away from him.
I felt worse, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t wake up. I couldn’t help but want to cry. The darkness faded into light and I could smell coffee and bacon in the world around me. There was a soft hand rubbing my temple, “Nox, you okay sweetie?”
I grunted. “How long?”
“I haven’t been able to wake you since you fell last night. I called Rider, told him what happened, he’s gonna send someone over to make sure you are alright. And to keep the dicks away from here. They shouldn’t have been here, they could have gotten in a lot of trouble with Adrian.”
The name sounded familiar in my daze, but then it should Adrian was like Abby’s second father. He was a nice man. He looked after Abby, protected her like any good father, so why wasn’t he taking care of these guys?
“Is that coffee for me?” I pointed to the one on the table.
Abby laughed, “Yeah, but it’s cold now.”
There was a knock on the door and Abby rushed over to get it leaving me to sit up and reach for the cold cup of Joe, even though it was cold I took a sip and then immediately set it down. Rider’s sorta brothers walked into my apartment. Of course he’d send his boss and his bosses friend.
Ryan looked at me and frowned, “Rider said you fell down and bumped your head.”
“I was pushed and I’m alright now.”
I started to get out of bed but he rushed over to me and pushed me back down. “Let me be the gauge of that.”
“What you a doctor now too?”
Ryan laughed. “Maybe.”
“You are like sixteen.”
Alex laughed, “He’s older than he looks. Just sit still and let him do his thing, he won’t leave you alone until you do.”
Ryan laughed, “He’d know. Always getting knocked around in the ring.”
I sat still and let Ryan do his thing. I’d knew how people could be obsessive.