I Never Loved You

If your mother and father told you that they never really loved or even liked you, and you knew it was absolutely true, how would it affect your life? What if you simply overheard them saying this to someone else?

I don’t think it would have really affected my young life much at all since I believed from an early age my father didn’t want me, and my mother literally threw me away. To know 100% for certain they didn’t love me would probably have been a relief. Something I wouldn’t be working through today.

But my father does love me, and my mother did too. But she couldn’t love me in front of me cause of fucked up magic. Just like the love of my fucking life couldn’t remember me. Where magic is involved with me there is always an unknown element involved. A shred of chaos in this order I’m supposed to sow.

Maybe that’s why Order doesn’t play games with will, or with humanity like Chaos. Because order and chaos is in everyone. It puts a new light on the over arcing story of it all. A game of souls played by order and chaos – not good and evil, but order and chaos, and there must be a balance between the two. A forever unending cycle.





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