Body Image

For $100,000, would you put on 40 pounds and keep it on for 3 years? How much money, if any, would you induce you to put on 100 pounds for at least a year?

Um can you say no fucking way!

Now you are going to say it’s just your weight. It doesn’t change you.

But it does change you. More weight = more depression and anxiety. And I sure as fuck don’t need that. My life is just getting adjusted to a new normal with things I never thought I had or thought I even deserved. But I do and I have them. I’m not going to ruin it with anxiety and depression.

I don’t eat clean, or workout because it’s for someone else. And I sure as fuck wouldn’t put on weight for money. I love myself too much for that.

It’s not an ego thing either. Yes, I have one. I know. But this isn’t about being built, or fit, or even pretty. This is about how I feel. I do this because if I don’t I would spiral into dark places. My habits keep me sane. Now if I could just impress upon AJ the same feelings about it we’d be golden. It’s not to look good. It’s to feel good – strong and healthy is better. WAY better.