Of All My Fears

Alex drove and we sat in silence watching the trees pass with little ceremony. The sun flickered through them and the world was at peace. At least on the outside. Inside my mind was rolling over and over why that dream – that fear. And I kept landing on one thing. “It had to start with Garrett.”

“What?” Alex asked looking over at me.

“The dreams, the nightmares – they had to start with Garrett.”

“I know I should know that name but I don’t.”

I laughed, “And you aren’t reading me so… ” I smiled at him as I continued, “Garrett Spencer, he was my mentor before Dae’lin. He taught me control.”

“That fucker!” Alex growled. “What about him?”

“The dreams are the same as what he did to me. The things he made me see in my dreams so I would spark and learn to control it. You saw him. That’s what every nightmare looks like for me, down to the details all of them.”

“So you think he has something to do with your nightmares – and that thing.”

I nodded, “It’s the only explanation I have.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Alex asked as he pulled up into what looked like an old house. He smirked. “Trust me – best pizza this side of the Rockies.”

I trusted him. Alex pulled up to the front door and we got out. His chivalry never surprised me as he reached for the door. “You know one day I’m going to beat you to that door.”

Alex laughed. “And then I hope you’d wait for me to open it. It’s a gentleman’s job to treat his significant other with respect and kindness.”

“And I can open a fucking door.” I grinned at Alex and stepped inside to a warm ambience and even warmer temperature. And it smelled like an authentic bakery.

There were a few tables, most of them were occupied, but one in the corner was free. We took the seat and Alex let me sit in the corner so I could see, he didn’t much care. He heard every thought before it came at him in most cases I said to myself.

A kid with pimples all over his face came over to us. “What can I get you?”

“A pot of coffee, and lets start with your Margherita pizza with spinach added.”

“Sure. Can I get you some garlic knots, or some bread or something while you wait?”

Alex looked at me and I smiled. “Garlic knots sound good. I’m starving still.”

Alex shook his head. “You heard the man. And can I get a root beer?”

The boy nodded and left without writing anything down. There a few moments where we just stared at each other sitting opposite one another. “If you sat over here I could touch you.”

“If you touch me you’ll make me regret letting you come out.”

I shook my head. “No. I promise. It’s a thing.”

“A thing?” Alex smirked.

“I’m a needy bastard you know that. I get… I don’t know… It’s hard…”

Alex stood up and laughed. “Pretty boy, I know. Shhhh….” he said as he walked around the table, put his fingers under my chin and lifted my head back to press a kiss to my lips.

How did I ever get to be so lucky. I hummed against his lips and I felt better with him close. Alex sat down and I took his hand under the table and leaned against his shoulder and closed my eyes. Alex broke the comfortable silence when the garlic knots arrived toasty warm and garlicy. I picked one up and Alex followed suit but after the boy left he looked at me and waited.

I took a large bite and had to blow and huff around it, it was so hot.

Alex laughed. “That will teach you.”

When I finally managed to chew the hot piece of nearly liquid fire I shook my head, “Highly doubtful.”

Alex asked, “So what are you going to do about this Garrett problem?”

“I think after I get back I’ll confront him.”

“He’s in the AU building?” Alex asked.


“Dorian said you can’t go in there until after the Fourth.” Alex reminded me.

“It’s not work. It’s personal. And I’m fairly certain there are two children in there I’m not waiting to meet until then, so Dorian can just shove it.”

Alex laughed. “I want to hear you say that to Dorian’s face.”

“You think I won’t?”

Alex looked at me again as I finished my garlic knot and picked up another. “Honestly, I think you ripped Dorian a new one a time or two.”

“No. Not even when I found out he’d been lying to me my whole life.” I sighed. “Have you ever tried to yell at someone who can give you this completely disappointed look and you haven’t even said anything yet. It wouldn’t do any good. Dorian would keep his composure. If I flustered him he sent me to Marco or Angelina or back to Dae’lin.”

“I don’t want you to go near that asshole without me,” Alex said.

“I don’t want you near him Alex. He will not find out about you.” I spoke harshly and I saw Alex wince even. “I’m sorry.”

Alex chuckled, “Don’t apologize pretty boy. You’re standing up for yourself. Though I wish it wasn’t to defend me. I can take care of myself.”

“How many times can I tell you that? You want me to listen to you though?”

“Call me a hypocrite, but yes. I want you to listen.”

“And if I don’t?” I asked.

“Nothing. I would just be happier if you did.”

I took a deep breath and nodded. “I still don’t want you to come with me. What if Ant comes with me?”

Alex squeezed my hand. “We can talk about this later. Pizza is here. And I don’t want to fight about it now. Is that good?”

I nodded and pressed a kiss to Alex’s cheek. “That’s good.” The boy set the pizza down and I barely waited to pick one up before it was on the table. I did cool the pizza first this time so I didn’t burn the roof of my mouth. “So, about me shaving…” I teased as I took the first of many bites.

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