Not So Morning Bliss

There was darkness in my dreams last night. But there were other dreams. I didn’t think they were influenced by Alex. But he didn’t come to my dreams. I wondered if that was how it was for normal people. I was awake before Alex. He had tossed and turned once he’d actually come back to bed. I only vaguely remembered him shaking me awake, it was after the darkness had come. The blue eyed demon had his claws in me. It had wanted me to scream but I didn’t.

I lay there watching Alex as he tossed and turned. I wished I could step into his dreams and make it go away. But I was stuck outside here in the real world. I pressed my naked body to his and my lips to his neck for a kiss – so soft and gentle and I whispered against his sweat soaked skin. “I love you, Alex. Please don’t leave me again,” I begged. I really couldn’t take it.

Alex’s eyes shot open moments later and his heart was racing. It was violent as he pushed me off him and got out of bed and started pacing. His fingers ran through his hair tightly gripping and pulling at his frustration. “Alex?” I asked as I knelt on the edge of the bed waiting, watching as he paced. I saw the glint of the ring I’d made on the opposite hand.

But I didn’t get a chance to say anything before he looked at me and smiled. “Hey pretty boy.” Alex smirked. “Nothing wrong here. Pretend it didn’t happen,” he said sitting down next to me and pressed a kiss to my lips.

I wasn’t sure I could ignore it but his lips against mine insured I wasn’t going to think about it then. His hand snaked around my waist and I was lying on my back with Alex kneeling above me kissing me. He smirked down at me. “You need your workout?”

I nodded. “I can think of a workout.”

Alex chuckled as he sat up and slipped off the bed. “There’s a pool out there.” He licked his lips.

“You want me to swim?”

“I didn’t say that.” He was grinning madly though.

I got up and found a pair of shorts to wear in the water in the pile of clothes Alex had bought for me. “I won’t kill them will I?” I asked.

Alex shrugged, “I can buy you a new pair.”

I sighed, that wasn’t the point but I slipped them on, and he was rather bouncy considering the nightmare he had. “You sure you are okay?” I asked as I headed for the door with a motel towel in my hand. I wondered where all the towels Alex had taken were at. They’d have been great for showers today.

“I’m fine pretty boy. Soon to be dripping wet.”

I think Alex was going to enjoy my swim more than I was.

Forty-five minutes later I was tired and Alex had gone inside bored of watching me I guessed. I found him sitting on the phone hanging up with someone. “He’s back, gotta go.”

I raised my eyebrow hoping he’d answer the unspoken question. Alex gave me half laugh, “I think those girls from yesterday are dead set on turning you straight. All they can think about is how fucking hot you are and how they’d like to show you the right way to do things.”

I shrugged, “I can’t help other peoples thoughts about me. You’re the one who wanted to watch me swim,” I said as I stepped inside the bathroom to shower. “You joining me?”

Alex looked down, sniffed his arm pit and smirked, “I’m good pretty boy. I didn’t mean anything by it you know,” he added afterwards like I was angry. I guess my words came out harsher than I had intended. His fingers were dragging through his hair again. All I did was frustrate him. I noticed the ring was back on the other hand. Now I wondered why he’d moved it. Maybe we were done and he was just waiting to get rid of me.

I pulled the door closed behind me and let the sound of the water wash out my despair. The shower did little for my mood but after I applied the eye liner I threw on the happy smile and made my way out to the bedroom. Alex had a few fruits and coffee and several breakfast sandwiches waiting, everything else was in the car. I pressed a kiss to his lips and took my coffee he was already sipping on his.

We loaded up in the car and we started driving. Despite the smile plastered on my face I was living in hell. Alex drove for about an hour in the fucking awkward silence, he had to feel it. I finally sighed, “So you gonna tell me who was on the phone when I walked in?”

Alex looked at me and sighed, “That’s why I’m getting silent treatment?”

“No. Well only part of it.” I looked out the passenger side window and sighed before I took a deep breath and started. “You woke up with a nightmare which you obviously didn’t want to talk about. You asked me to go swimming so you could watch, but it bored you so you left me alone to do my thing. When I came back you were on the phone, you hung up because I was there obviously not wanting to talk about it around me. You got annoyed at other people looking at me, and then sent me off alone to take a shower. So there, that’s what’s bothering me.” I didn’t turn to look at him. “I’m sorry if I’m trying to pretend like you asked that it’s alright, because it’s not. Oh, and you moved the ring from your right to your left, and then back to your right. I’m sure you didn’t think I’d notice.”

Alex started to say something, but I interrupted, “Don’t worry about it Alex. I’ll get over it. You don’t like talking, I get it.”

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