Only Forever

Alex looked at me with those blue eyes and looked completely exasperated with me, “Fine, what do you want to know?”

“I only want to know what you want to tell me Alex.” I said. But Alex was staring at my mouth and smirked, he hadn’t heard me at all.

“I’m sorry. I was just thinking of other things I’d rather you did with your mouth.” he said.

“I said. I don’t want to know anything you don’t want to tell me. Alex, I know you don’t want to share your life with me. I’m okay with that. As long as I get you.”

Alex looked lost, and I wasn’t sure I liked that look on him. He was supposed to be the confident one. He spoke in a soft tone, “Why would you settle Nox. You deserve someone who will give you everything you want.”

“I’m not settling, Alex. I’m getting exactly what I want.” It was the truth only thing I wanted was Alex. It was all I could think about. He was all I wanted.

“And what’s that Nox?” he asked, like he couldn’t hear it in my head.

“You.” I said with a soft sigh.

“Why?” he asked, amused at my answer. I wasn’t sure if he was happy or disappointed in it though. Sometimes I wished I could read his mind.

I shrugged, “Do you really want to know?” I didn’t want to scare him away. I only just got him back. I didn’t want him to leave me again. I wasn’t sure I could handle it a third time.

“Sure, why not.” Alex said with a shrug.

I grinned at him and crawled over to him. I pressed myself between his legs and looked up Alex with those big blue eyes of his and tried not to look away as I told him exactly how I felt, “Because you are my first everything. And I’ve had a lot of every thing in between then and now. I know I want you to be my last everything.”

Alex smirked. “That sounds an awful lot like a proposal.”

I dropped my eeys and stared at his chest. I hadn’t wanted to make it sound like that. But it was the truth. I would spend the rest of my life wit him. I fucking wanted to, but I didn’t want to lose him. The emotions were warring inside of me. But I wanted what I wanted and I looked up back at Alex, “It is what it is.” I said. “I’m not asking you for marriage or anything quite so grand.” I grinned and found the humor in the accusation. Alex was joking, but I took it too far, the wrong way. I had… but I sighed and continued, “But it’s the truth. I’d say the ‘L’ word if it wouldn’t scare you away.”

“What word is that lust? Lucky? Lick?” Alex joked. I smiled as Alex leaned in towards my neck and I titled my head to the side. Alex plastered a lick across my neck and my body shuddered at the attention. “I licked it so it’s mine.” Alex said and I relaxed into him. I fucking missed him.

I didn’t want to bore Alex with talking too much, “We don’t have to do all of it now. You aren’t mad at me for coming here?”

“Pretty boy, thank you for coming. Now please come up here. I promise you I won’t leave you this time.” My heart beat fast in my chess as I crawled up next to him. I laid down and curled around him. I pressed my face into his neck and I took a deep breath. I missed this so fucking much.