Drake was having a fit because he was afraid to be the thunder cloud he was so afraid of. He was curled up under his blankets his costume strung across the room as far from him as possible. I picked it up and moved the blanket from the boys head and sat down. He looked up at me and squawked before he giggled and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I held him close and smiled. “If I can be what scares me most, so can you.” I said into his little ear in a quiet whisper.
He sighed and nodded his head and sat down in my lap. It really was that simple – knowing we could do anything together. It was the one thing I made sure all the boys knew. Knew that I was there no matter what they went through. I hadn’t had that in my life. I intended these boys to have everything I didn’t. I wasn’t biologically their father, but neither was Dorian and he was the closest thing I had to one growing up. He screwed up too, as I know I will – all part of being a parent I’m told.
When I pulled Drake out of his bedroom in full thunder cloud costume Matt and Laker were curled up on the couch and Fae wasn’t in sight. I sent the little Dragon to Matt and he pounced on the boys interrupting their cuddling. But they immediately included him in it. One big happy family. All pack, I thought to myself. And I headed into the teenager bungalo. It was a lot bigger than what you’d expect. I’d figured out how to make their bedroom fit four twin size beds in the same space. Thanks to magic. The rune stone hung on their door and I opened it to find Fae curled up in a corner rocking back and forth. Of all the boys, I identified with Fae the most. He was a homeless kid, he’d been abused by his former pack. He was me if I’d been a werewolf. He was born into a family – a pack, but when his parents died no one took care of him. The Las Vegas pack were a bunch of dicks and the CCB didn’t do charity work often and certainly not for unwanted pack members.
But Fae was Omega straight out. Adrian couldn’t protect him in a pack, and Fae refused to join Dom. Though I didn’t blame him, Dom was too dominating and Fae needed something a little softer so here the boy stayed with me.
I sat down next to the rocking werewolf with my back against the wall and my knees pulled up to my chest. And I started talking, “I’m gonna blow it with Alex.” It was like therapy, I just said whatever I felt. “I’m going to scare him the fuck away cause I’m needy. Nothing has ever scared me more.”
Faelen leaned against me and stopped rocking, “Even more than this.” His fingers plucked at the sleeve of my costume.
“Even more than that. I don’t know what I’d do without him.” Fae laughed, “The same thing you do every time it gets hard, you adapt.”
“What if I can’t?” I asked a little too whiney for my taste.
“You will. I will.” I looked over at the werewolf. “There is too many people coming.”
“I know. But you and me, we can do this right? I’ll be here the whole time. And you can escape to my room if it all gets too much.” I reassured the werewolf as I put my arm around his neck and pulled him tight against me.
“Nox?” Fae asked.
“I’m afraid of everything, can’t I just be me?”
I grinned, “Are you afraid of you?”
He nodded, “I’m afraid of myself all the time. I’m a werewolf.”
“Fae, you are fine. You don’t have to dress up if it makes you uncomfortable.”
He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. And we sat there on the floor in his room just gathering our courage, our strength and the will to get through the next few minutes.