Insecurites

We wrapped up at with the simulator, Alex dragging me off down a hall to kiss me properly. His body and his lips were warm against mine. I groaned, “We should go home.”

Alex sighed, my voice having broken the moment. He smirked at me with bright eyes shining to add emphasis to his leading me away. But it wasn’t home we went. Alex headed to his own apartment. It was closer to the AU building than my place no our place. I was frowning the whole way up the elevator which Alex could tell I wasn’t overly happy. I knew Alex planned to prepare for the party alone – his costume a surprise. Not that he couldn’t have done that at my apartment but he didn’t. He wanted to get ready at his. I knew that before my plans but still I was in a needy moment. Needing Alex, wanting him to have a great birthday.

Alex rolled his eyes as he turned to me in front of his door. “Pretty boy, you need to stop. My birthday has been the best ever. Stop brooding.”

I gave Alex a fake smile and only nodded. I didn’t trust my voice. So Alex continued, “I won’t be gone long I promise. I’ll see you soon.”

I shrugged and Alex pulled me close, “Don’t be like that.”

“I can’t be any other way Alex. I’m either going to be clingy or nothing, I don’t have an in between.” I gave him a genuine smile and pressed my lips lightly to his. “I know logically you’ll be back quickly – in costume. That doesn’t make it go away though.” I pulled away. “I’m sorry to be a downer on your best birthday ever.” The smile came back full force I could feel the strain of my face but Alex knew it was fake.

Alex ran his fingers down the side of my face grazing his nails through my beard. “You really are more trouble than you are worth sometimes.” He was grinning playfully. “But Nox, I’ll love you for as long as you’ll have me.”

And even when he tried to reassure me, he brought in his own insecurities. I was always going to leave him in his head. He was just waiting for the moment that I tore him to shreds. Everyone did, that was his philosophy.

“You really are a downer Nox.” Alex frowned.

“Let me go before I spiral.” I said walking away.

“Pretty boy.” Alex called from his doorway. “Don’t go like that.”

I turned around with a bright smile just for him, “Lover, you said I love you. I love you, but if I stay here I’m going to fall and not get back up. Let me go home, I’ll wait for you and it’ll be like you never left my side.”

Alex shook his head, “You can stay, if you want to.”

I shook my head too. “No. You wanted to surprise me. I can let you do that. I’m being selfish.”

“Don’t do that.” Alex groaned.

Those words ringing in his head as much as they did mine. I went back to Alex and wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his lips gently. “It wasn’t meant as fighting words. I realize I’m thinking of me, more than you. Being selfish. I need time to fix my attitude.”

Alex breathed softly against my lips and his ice blue eyes stared at mine, “If you are sure. I could sacrifice my surprise.”

I shook my head, “I’ll be fine. I’ll text you when I get back home.” I kissed him hard. And we broke away clearly breathless as I turned to walk away. When I reached the stair well I turned to see Alex watching me with a glint in his eyes. He spoke softly in my head Fuck you look good.

I grinned at him and thought back You can unwrap me later I have one more gift for you. And I jumped down the flgiht of stairs before Alex could come find me. He wanted to tease me before I left I would get the last laugh. Alex was swearing at the top of the stairs as I was walking out of the ground floor door.

And I texted Alex when I got to my apartment building. I still had to go upstairs, but I was home. I missed being with Alex, I was clinging I knew that.

My name is Nox Sétanta. I am first and foremost a fictional character escaped from the mind of my creator AJ. In layman's terms I'm a magic wielding monster hunter born to my human mother and my Venatori father.

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