Birthday’s had never really ever been my thing. To my mother it was just another day to pull some con or grift, or to make some money. It wasn’t about me, not ever. So I came to just ignore the day, treat it like any other. But it was also the time of year where my pretty boy had a hard time coping. Our dreams ended up with me fixing him more often than not.
It was funny how being here in the real world with him, that this October hadn’t been too bad on him. Maybe it was because his brothers were here. I know Nox would say it was because I was here. I doubted it, but he was doing better and I would take that. Nox happy meant everyone else was happy and if he was happy then I was happy. But Nox happy also meant he spent a lot more time with me.
He’d already gone all out – even before he brought me a pancake icecream cake in bed complete with bacon and perfect coffee. And of course him. It sounds sappy, I know I think it every time I think how domesticated I’ve become but this was a perfect start to my day to a new year.
Nox’s version of spoiling me wasn’t spending money or buying fancy gifts. I had a hard time dealing with his lack of materialistic things. He accepted things I gave him with a bright smile, even though I knew he was thinking ‘I don’t need that’. But he took it anyway, used it happily and I got the satisfaction of knowing my pretty boy was taken care of.
I was still in complete and utter shock at the things he’d given me for my birthday so far. The rock carving of Serenity was absolutely the greatest gift ever. She was perfect. He got everything perfect. He only shrugged when I told him it looked identical. I made a smart comment around Dorian when the older Venatori dropped Drake off from school. I don’t even remember the comment, but Dorian chuckled at my reaction to Nox’s non-reaction to the perfection. He said, “Does he ever do anything half-assed?” And it really made me think, because I couldn’t think of a time where Nox didn’t give it his all. His complete and utter attention had gone into the carving of my second favorite thing. I was hopelessly in love with my pretty boy and I had stopped trying to pretend otherwise. I could admit it to myself in my head, but I hadn’t told Nox how I felt. Though from his invite to move in I was pretty sure he knew I was all in for as long as he’d have me.
The carving had been more than enough for my birthday but the next day he surprised me with the notebook at lunch. I knew he could draw. I’d seen his sketchbooks. I even saw the ones he stored in a storage unit in a trunk. The only possessions he truly owned. He had so few things I still was amazed at it all. He lived like a pauper and I knew he had more money. Sage had even give me a heads up on his accounts. I knew exactly how much he made, where it all went – which was no where. He had a gym membership, paid for his cellphone bill and that was it. Everything else the Venatori took care of. He never even saw the money. That was such a shock to me. His bank account grew and his clothes had holes in them. His furniture had been purchased by someone else and while he took care of the boys, he himself didn’t use much.
I was picking up his bad habits the wandering thoughts, letting things drift in and drift out like it was it’s own entity. But those pictures were memories and I remembered them. I couldn’t believe the detail in them. And the drawings of Serenity of me. I hadn’t realized he’d stared so much at me. But even now I didn’t notice really. He said he saw patterns was this all part of it. I wished I could frame the whole notebook page by page, save it, endure forever. I couldn’t stop looking at them, and I got lost in the memories.
It was such a strange feeling knowing that Nox remembered me. It had taken years, and even though I did it to him I can’t help but wonder why he never dug deeper before. I was always going to feel slighted by it I think, but he remembered so many things from our childhood. He relived them easily. He’d locked them away after each night so his mentor couldn’t use me against him. So he couldn’t hurt me. So Nox would never be the cause of so much pain and anguish. He protected me. I didn’t need his protection, until I remembered the three marks on my back. If we hadn’t done that I might be dead… but we’ll never know now. At least I have Nox.
And now breakfast in bed. Lost in my head with my pretty boy curled up watching me. He was perfectly content just lying there watching me lift my fork to my mouth lost in though. Rude? maybe, but I had a lot on my mind.