Unmoored, drifting at sea, lost in a whirlwind of emotions and shit.

If you’ve not read the Last Phoenix, you need to either go read it or come back to this later. It’s in ebook format so you can finish it. The story it self won’t finish until the first Tuesday in August if you are reading scene by scene. Perfect timing for AJ to finish The Children of Morpheus and have some time to rework it while she gives you the bits and pieces after Darwynn’s Law I didn’t cover in the blog posts. Though before we start I think AJ will give you Darwynn’s Law in ebook with those shorts included.

Anyway back on topic. I found out that I was not my mother’s only child she had. I found out that I had a twin sister, the dragons killed. But that isn’t the part that really left me wondering about my life. Left me drifting in self pity and self doubt. Margo is a dragon. Not only is she a dragon and didn’t tell me my whole life. She was the dragon that killed my sister and was supposed to kill me. On top of that, she was may Nanny before I came to the Venatori. I lived with the fucking woman for 5 years. I knew she was a dragon then. But when my mother up and gave me to the Venatori, she followed, changed her name and face – dragons being snifters and all, they can take whatever human form they desire. Even someone who is living, most don’t, they have a default human form. Usually the one they are born with.

And when I needed a therapist she inserted her self into that role to guide me and watch me. He helped me become the man I am today. She tried to kill me when I was just a baby. I’ve hated people for less infractions.

I’m still dealing with my father’s absence and reveal when I was 18. For 5 years I’ve been trying with my father and his only fault in the whole thing was he didn’t know about me. My mother never told him she was pregnant. My father just didn’t know I existed. He would have been a father if he’d known. He’s told me so so many times. And that’s the reason why I continue to try. It wasn’t his fault. And with all my damaged goods I make it worse. I can’t let him in the way I should. I go to Dorian before I go to Kai. Dorian is more my father than Kai ever will be. But we try. We try for Drake. And we try for all my future children. What relationship I didn’t have with my father, they will have with their grandfather.

I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive Margo. I don’t know if she shows any remorse for her actions. She’s not tried to speak to me. And that’s the biggest difference between her and Dorian. Dorian would make me talk to him. Because he felt it necessary. Margo waits for me to tell her things. Part of the therapy process, and part of not pushing my limits beyond where I’m comfortable.

I don’t want to drift like this. I hate feeling uncentered. I just want to be safe and happy. Isn’t that all anyone ever truly wants?