Being the ward of the Venatori you are deprived of a great many things in life. The first and foremost is the freedom of choice. You are given what you are to wear with no choice. Unless you have a benefactor who cares – which I did not.
But it comes with a lot more things to be deprived of – my clothes barely fit for years in the Academy. I wore things that were hand me downs. Things people didn’t want to wear anymore. They were all in good shape. And really at the time I didn’t really care so much. It wasn’t until I started working with Dae’lin that the despairing attire became an issue. When I had my own money to spend on things it made me realize what crap I had.
But being raised by the community at large it wasn’t just material things I lacked. I lacked unconditional love. Kids thrive on nurture and depending on which side you fall of the nature versus nurture debate – I think I turned out pretty good considering my mother hated me and my father didn’t know I existed.
I mean I was cared for. But no more than an orphan is. Which is what I was essentially. But I’m not bitter no matter how much I complain. I only complain to remind myself how to make a difference. Things I know are broken. One day I might be able to make changes. And if I can’t make society wide changes I can make a difference for one or more individuals in my life time. And that is one of my goals in life – to give someone what I never had – a loving family!