So to preface this, AJ has never watched Zombieland so this is all new to her, which means I have no reference. But I’ve been told these are some quotes to live by – specially now with everyone coming after me. Or if there is ever the Zombie apocalypse. Or maybe for the days of the Coronavirsus panic…? [rules from here]

Rule #1: Cardio
“When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties.”

Rule #2: Double Tap
“You had to get a gun and learn how to use it, which leads me to my second rule: the double tap. In those moments when you’re not sure the undead are really dead-dead, don’t get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head.”

Rule #2 (Deleted Scene): Ziploc Bags
“You got enough problems, moisture shouldn’t be one of them.”

Rule #3: Beware of Bathrooms
“Don’t let them catch you with your pants down.”

Rule #4: Seatbelts
“Fasten your seatbelts. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.”

Rule #6 (Promotional Video): Cast Iron Skillet
“Big. Cast iron. Contrary to what you’ve seen, it won’t flatten a face, but the feel of it when you hit something, chills. Your whole arm vibrates.”

Rule #7: Travel Light
“And I don’t mean just luggage.”

Rule #12 (Promotional Video): Bounty Paper Towels
“If there is one way to describe Zombieland, it is ‘moist.’”

Rule #15 (Promotional Video): Bowling Ball
“Nothing says massive head trauma like a bowling ball — preferably 16 pounds. Don’t use a little pink one.”

Rule #17: Don’t be a Hero
As Columbus says, “Some rules are made to be broken.”

Rule #18: Limber Up
“Going down that hill, it is very important.”

Rule #29 (Promotional Video): The Buddy System
“We have each other’s backs.”

Rule #31: Check the Back Seat
“No one back there but my duffel bag.”

Rule #32: Enjoy the Little Things
“I hate to give credit to anyone who looks like Yosemite Sam, but I’m writing it down.” Thanks for this one, Tallahassee!

Rule #33 (Promotional Video): Swiss Army Knife
“The Swiss army used that knife for a reason.”