AJ just wrote a glorious fight scene. I’m rolling my eyes. I’m so fucking emotionally unstable it’s not even funny. I know I’m teasing you with things. This scene will hit around the first week of October, but it’s what I’m reacting to right now.

I’m broken. I know this. But fuck if this isn’t going to mess me up big time. I’m reminded regularly that no one wants to read a happy lovey story it gets boring fast. Happy moments yes. Happy endings better. But fuck being a fictional character is so fucking dramatic.

Why can’t I live a happy little life with my loves and my boys? Why? Why?

Oh yeah because if I was living a happy life, AJ would box me up, put a ribbon on me and say I was done. I’d go the way of the dodo and you wouldn’t be reading things from me anymore. My story is full of conflict and adventure. There has to be problems and drama. I can’t always win. Or can I? But at least with a lot of loss in my life. Fuck! And you people want to live our lives? Be adventurous? Be Knights fighting dragons, or monster hunters saving the day. It’s hard work!