Tag: The First Vestige

Cari was backing my new company. And with only the money that I had saved I had done my shopping. I started with the easy ones first, the ones I always got gifts for. I got Jace a new jacket. For some reason he was a New York Knicks fan and had been pining over their latest apparel and after consulting with Mia it was exactly what she would have suggested anyway. Mia got a new cook book. I knew she’d been eyeing it for months. Something about vegetarian baby food or something like that. I was very much what the fuck when I bought it but Mia was very into it particularly now that baby number two was baking.

Naya got a rocking horse. It was wooden and painted and was perfect for her to destroy. She was still little but man could she move around now. Dorian got the same thing he got every year from me a goofy tie and socks. Which he would wear to his next family get together then stick it in the same drawer all the rest of them were. This year I got super hero themed ones thanks to shopping with Sage. He picked up a pair for himself he thought they were so cool. Dae’lin wasn’t really that easy but I picked her up a self help book. She was always reading them. This one was entitled “Not Impossible: The Art and Joy of Doing What Couldn’t Be Done.” I thought it was poetic. Because here I was doing the impossible – living my life outside the Venatori but still being the best Venatori I could be – helping others.

And then the real fun began. The little ones were easy – Drake got a plethora of matchbox cars, ones I knew he didn’t have. Sage and I scavenged the thrift and pawn shops looking for older classics, and we bought a ton at FAO Schwartz. He would love them. Morana got a gift certificate to some of the trendiest shops in the Night Life building. And a promise from Dee to take her shopping for cool clothes. Dee absoutely loved the idea of a girl in the family and Morana was reaping those rewards. Or was it more like annoyances.

The boys on the other hand were harder. Fae was a little more difficult and I decided on a weighted blanket covered in trees and forest life. Of all my kids he was still having a hard time adjusting. He never slept alone. I was hoping that the blanket would help him sleep in his own bed alone instead of trying to pile into ours, or Matt’s. Matt was accommodating, but Matt was becoming a new boy. He was thriving in a human school. He had a social life. He had girl friends and guy friends, and I think he even had a boyfriend, though none of us have yet to meet him, except for Fae but he won’t say a thing.

Matt was the hardest to buy for. Like me he didn’t want things, he wanted to be loved and taken care of and he had everything he wanted. His father bought him clothes to fit in at his new school. And Matt had a part-time job working at the Starbucks down in the Night Life building, which was something I hadn’t know. Sage had. But no one told me.

Matt was 16, but unlike most 16 year olds you can’t drive in New York until you are 17 (or 18 I forget). So a car was out for now. Not that Matt wanted a car, but he needed more than his feat so I got him a bike. It was a nice fiberglass frame and probably more bike than he needed, but it was easy to carry as he’d have to do that on a regular basis living on the top floor of the Night Life building.

While Matt was hard, my lovers were even hard. After talking with Dev he had suggested some brand new video game that they’d been eyeing, but that wasn’t my thing. It was another of those shoot em up type games. So instead of that I bought both my boys a year membership to a paint ball club upstate and a new set of guns. I hadn’t known a thing when I went into the store there. And the guy looked at me repeatedly, I was pretty sure he expected rainbows to shoot out of my ass or something. I hadn’t even been flirting – well not my usual quality flirting. But either way when I asked to try the firing range and power of the gun he gave me more of ‘don’t hurt yourself’ look as he carried the gun to the indoor range. Guns of any kind weren’t a problem for me so when I hit the target three times in a row in dead center I got a different kind of look from him. Though he didn’t quite say much after that.

It turned out this club also had a spa, so Dee got a membership and a few spa sessions thrown in. It was a regular old vacation place. I expected we’d spend some time up here getting away from it as a family. And that made me smile… A family vacation, but first I had to get through my very first family Christmas.

I mean I went to Jace’s house for Christmas, I’d been to Dorian’s family for Christmas but it was never my family. This was different. It was like our Thanksgiving dinner, except I’d actually be there this time. Not just physically, mentally and emotionally there.

In the month time that had passed since Virgil had tried to tear me down, I’d gone back to talking with Margo every Monday at 9:30. So every Monday Jin found me and pushed me towards the elevator. And she made me go. There was no room for an I don’t want to, or a I don’t have time. Jin made me go. And while I hadn’t really forgiven Margo for her past transgressions and the lie, I was working through it.

Fae had appointments too with Margo. Every other week on Tuesday after school he’d stop by and they’d chat. He had his issues too. We all did.

For a while now things were good. But I knew it wasn’t going to be long before shit blew up in our faces again. I was in love. I was happy with my life again. The universe was about to shit in my pool again.

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It had been a little under a month since I had returned from my European Tour of the alleys and dark places. The four vampires who had kept my family captive are dead now. But not because I said so. I gave them to the Vampire Council. They were charged with revealing the Clandestine Providence to humanity. Which wasn’t really a vampire law, but it was the Venatori reason for putting vampires to death. Their death’s hadn’t been quick. They were staked to the top of the AU building and the sun killed them. Which meant that for Nathaniel, the Elemental vampire master it took quite a long time for him to burn and die. The others not quite so long.

I had watched until the last ember blew away into the sky to make sure they were truly good and gone. Ant stood at my back the whole time. He was taking his body-guarding job seriously. But the thing was while he was my personal vampire bodyguard, I made him head of security. I’ll get into of what in a bit, but Ant was my left hand while Jin was my right.

At first Dee was jealous because Jin seemed to read me with easy. She knew when I was hungry, knew I needed to destress. But in rarity it had nothing at all to do with knowing me. Jin was in charge of my schedule. She knew when I wanted to eat, she knew when I scheduled my work outs. But Jin was observant and she adjusted my schedule as necessary. It had taken me a while to let Jin do the work. She would nudge me in a direction and I went now. She was like the alarms on my phone. I trusted Jin to understand my anxiety levels. We had a few mishaps early on, but now we were running like clock work.

This past month I’ve a priority on my family. The boys and Morana were still staying at the Night Life building in the original apartment they had been given. I’d taken the master there to be close by. It was our home. Cari gave me the whole floor. That’s a little less than 50,000 square feet of real estate I own. Cari sold it to me for a dollar.

We were doing renovations to the whole space. Starting with the space opening off of the elevator. Instead of walking into a hallway for apartments, you walked into a reception area for TCP Investigations. Cari had Larry legally transfer my Venatori PI license to New York City’s on the up and up. I even took the exam again so it was a true license. Sage wasn’t pleased with me, that I was still working a dangerous job, but we were working on it. Whatever his dream had been had changed his view of my work. But he worried.

Sage is back in his house, but he’s got it on the market. As soon as the back half of the floor is finished, he’s moving in. We all have our own rooms. We can do whatever we want with those rooms, but a requirement is a twin bed to crash in when we need space. We have our room. Where we will stay most of the time. Just for the four of us. But we also have a family bed, the nights following my return found all of us in the same bed. Fae was in heaven, and so was I. I think everyone else took a while to get used to it. All the kids have their own rooms. And we have a few extra rooms for guests. But I have other plans. Our house will also contain a state of the art computer center, a full gym with a yoga/mat area, a grandoise kitchen that Dee designed herself. I must say I’m in love with it. Dev and the boys even have their own studio to work from now. And Sage and Dev’s favorite room? The home theater. The whole of the house will take up half of the square footage of the entire floor. The studio, computer center and gym will have public access for business ‘uses’ but the rest is our own personal space.

The rest of the space is all part of TCP Investigations – my company. I haven’t taken on my first case yet, but mostly because Larry and Ant and I are working out all the details for legal reasons. I’m a human doing human work.I imagine I’ll be doing a bit of spying on spouses and things, but that’s okay. Sage will be happy. But it gives me the legal means to peruse the weird cases.

But it’s the holidays and my mind hasn’t been on the issues of the Clandestine Providence – Valence is still at large. Brandon Holt is causing misery to the vampires, but my biggest problem was what do I get everyone for Christmas.

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The vampire burned. There was no stench of burning hair or flesh, just flames turning a dream to ash. When his body died the true death the flames stopped and he crumbled to ash. I knew Ant had done his job. And now the dream walker was dead. There would be a mass destruction of the weakest of his line, but that couldn’t be helped. And the council would need to establish a new dream walker master in order to prevent more from dying. But it was a necessity. Maybe this next one would not let images of false power over take them.

Because that was all it was. A false image. there was no way we were going to let them reveal the supernatural to the world. No way.

Dev stood silently wrapped around me. I felt my family all around me. I felt the comfortable buzz of Sage’s energy trying to wrap us all in it’s comforting protection. I wondered if he even knew he did it.

And when the last ash fell to the ground I scooped it up and scattered it into the running water of the creek behind my barren tree. It was no longer bare. It was covered in greenery, the images all flickering happily as they took up their homes again.

The rain had stopped and Dev was looking at me with a curious glance. “What?” I asked.

He smirked at me. “Nothing. And here I thought you’d be broken.”

I shrugged. “I am broken – battered and beaten. But this,” I waved my hands around my world and stopping with both fingers pointing at Dev, “is all you. Well not all you, the others helped a lot too.”

Dev smiled at me. “Even though we are all fighting, you still think we did this?”

I laughed. “Yeah. You all could leave me, you’d break me in pieces if you ever did it, any of you, but this, is what you gave me. I love Sage, Dev. Even if he hates me for leaving and getting into danger, I won’t ever stop. I love Dee in my own way. I can’t see my life without her nagging at me about letting the kids have some fun, or that I’m hovering too much because one or all of you won’t eat right. The boys are my life and now we’ve another to care for in Morana. I know she tried to hurt people, but if Matt can accept that she’s here now, and family then the rest of you can too. “

Dev interrupted, “Matt’s a softy just like you.”

I grinned. “And Dev, I can’t do any of this without you. Sage makes me feel safe. Dee keeps me straight, but you, you give me strength. Strength to fight the bad guys. Strength to get through my day. I don’t know what it is about you, but…”

Dev had closed the distance between us while I talked and was pressing his lips to mine in my dream world. But in those precious moments Dev blinked out then I felt a hand on my shoulder and I started awake. A fireball at the ready.

Ryan jumped away from me in a quick flurry and the rest of the bed shifted and groaned at the intrusion. Their hands instinctively searched for my body when I sat up. They all opened their eyes and Dee cut off a small scream that had escaped her throat before realization hit her.

Ant and Ryan were at the side of the bed. Dev was rubbing his eyes.

Ryan laughed. “I’ll learn not to do that eventually. Least you didn’t throw it.”

I nodded. “What couldn’t wait till tomorrow?” I asked.

Ant pointed Ryan to the door. “Go home. I’ll explain.” Ryan nodded and left the room with his apologizes. Ant frowned. “We had to make sure you and Dev were you and Dev and not Virgil.”

Dev groaned. “Okay, I’m me. He’s him. The big bad vampire is dead. Let us all go back to bed.”

Ant laughed. “Alright. But I won’t be far. Jin will work with all of you on arrangements for the top floor. It’s all your’s Nox. Not just this apartment, the whole thing. Mother won’t use it, and dignitaries don’t like it. So what better place to let the Ascendant’s office be.

“Wait, what?”

Ant grinned at me. “You’ll see in the morning. Mother has a few more surprises for you. And she says thank you for your help. She has Valence now that he’s in the US. Nate was one of the vampires you cowed in the room. He was the one holding you Dev. All four of the vampires you caught will be in holding waiting your judgement. But that’s for in the morning.”

And with that Ant walked out of the bedroom. Sage’s hand clawed at my shirt, “Come back to bed before you start a fight.”

I didn’t really know what he meant by that, but I did as he suggested and curled back up into the middle of the pile of bodies. My family…

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Everything was as I left it. The big black man was scowling at me when I arrived in my own dream. The moment he saw me he sneered and spoke, “You come back for more. You are such an idiot.”

I shrugged. “I might be an idiot but I wasn’t gone long enough for you to take over my body so there is that.”

He looked at me like I knew too much. And that was when the barrage of depressing and anxious thoughts started again. The sky lit up with all my fears and I closed my eyes to keep from seeing the lies he was telling me. The echos in my own head were too hard to resist. I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks – sliding down in a slow cascade.

They were my fears. He was only playing on them. I was never good enough. I’d been told that my whole life. You are only half Venatori. You are too slow. You’ll never pass. It’s too hard, you won’t ever learn it. Which was nothing on the other things kids told me. The names they flung my direction.

The thick skin I had earned as a child dissolved in the rains of my dream world. It was raw. I felt it all over again.

But there was one slight difference this time then last and I didn’t want Virgil to know. I had help. Not in the form of my dream like Dev had been. No, I could feel my family around me – physically. I new they were there, I could sense them in my dream, but I could feel them lying there.

I pulled my power around me and felt the calming effect of it. It coursed through my body. It raged in my world. It was my world. Morpheus had taught me that in the end. He might be able to control me, but I controlled it in the long run. And he was a vampire. But I needed to know Ant was getting his body. Killing him here would give him a means to his body and then he could get away. I had to stall.

I focused on Virgil. I let my magic flow from me through his visage. He was mine. I could feel Ant and Morana and even Armand. And through them I could feel each individual vampire connected to them. The city was full of little baby vampires that Morana had created. I could feel them converging on the Night Life building coming to me. I worked up the line from Ant and between my connection to Ant and the visage of Virgil I could pin point his location. I don’t know how I’d relay it to Ant but I hoped he could read the connection like I was reading him.

“You really are a foolish boy.” He claimed again.

“No more foolish than most people.”

A voice echoed behind me. “That’s not true, Nox.”

I smirked as I turned around to see my rockstar standing behind me. He was standing there in the rain with his hair plastered to his head, his beautiful blue eyes sparkling. I couldn’t help biting my bottom lip as he walked towards me.

“Another dream walker?” Virgil asked. My world shuddered as he tried to connect to Dev’s fears. But Dev looked at him and smirked.

“I don’t think so.” Dev wrapped his arm around me and I could feel the bond between us strengthen. Everything in this world was raw, my emotions, Dev’s emotions. It was like one of Sage’s wires touching and sparking life together.

Virgil advanced on us and we took a step back. I didn’t want him touching me, and I definitely didn’t want him touching Dev. We kept backing up and he speed up.

And then the big black man stopped. His face countoured and he screamed. “No.” He glared at me as he started for us again.

This time I sent a column of fire at Virgil. His clothes caught first and then his hair and he screamed. Dev pulled me closer against him, turning me away from the sight. Protecting me. I turned back and watched with my rockstar. We watched the vampire die. I wouldn’t leave until he was nothing but ash.

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I remembered being here before with Dev. My head felt better. I still felt like I was a failure. But I wasn’t hearing that chant. Dev turned me quickly around, “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” I smiled to reassure him.

“Who the fuck was that? And what he was doing in your dream?”

“A vampire – Virgil Salazar. A dream walker.” I sighed. “Dev I need to go back in there. And I need you to get Ant and he needs to find the dream walker so we can kill him. He can’t move if he’s bothering me.”

“Nox. If you go back in there he’ll do whatever it was he was doing.”

I nodded. “I know, Dev. But he’s a dream walker, he can move from body to body, he has for centuries. I need you to do this. Please.” I begged.

“Okay, but answer me first. Why did you leave the room?”

“I was feeling everything you described and I had to leave.”

Dev sighed. “I’m sorry I vocalized your feelings. I didn’t know it would make it worse.”

I shrugged. “It’s okay. You didn’t make it worse. Once you and Sage started fighting I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was starting to spiral.”

“And that’s how he got his hooks in you?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Dev. I’ll be okay. We have to do this together. Make sure Sage and Dee are there to ground me. The kids too. Even Morana. She’ll help with my connection to Ant.”

Dev pulled me close. “Pretty boy, you aren’t worthless. I love you.”

I kissed him. “I love you. I’m not worthless. With Sage and Dee out there with me I’ll keep believing it even as he bombards me with it. Dev, I need you to trust me.”

Dev sighed. “I trust you Nox. I just don’t want you to get hurt. This is like what the demon did. I…”

I kissed Dev again to shut him up. It was soft and tender but grew into something more. “I love you Dev. I have you to pull me out of my head. I trust you. Trust me.”

Dev nodded. “I’ll be back as soon as I talk to Ant.” He didn’t wait any longer while he pushed me back into my colorful world.

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Depression. Anxiety. Panic. they were not foreign entities to me. I recalled a time in my life when they were close friends. When everyday was a chore to get out of bed. Some days if it hadn’t been for the fear of disappointing Dae’lin with my absence I would have stayed in bed. Failing to show up to classes meant I didn’t get to touch the elements. And that was the only joy I had.

The power flowing around me. Now that was different. I had people who made me happy. And I was disappointing them. I was making them worry. I was making them angry and they fought.

I remembered the times that got really bad. The times I wanted to die for real. A time before I valued my life. Granted there was still room for improvement, but my life was worth something even if only to me. There was an echo in my head making me doubt my self worth.

Worthless. Useless. Kill yourself.

The rain poured down around me despite the fact I knew I was loved. I was loved.

Everyone hates you. No despises you. You are a stain on the earth. Kill yourself.

The feelings all crashed in around me. I felt like I was drowning under a sea of hatred and self-loathing.

And then a tiny ray of sunshine fell on my cheek. I felt the warmth I knew should be there. But the deluge increased its efforts in trying to drown me.

A small blade of green grass shot up and I reached for it. The moment I felt the cool blade I felt safer. More grew around me.

Kill yourself. Worthless. Useless. End it all. The phrases echoed in my head.

But I heard the faint whisper in my sleep, “There you are pretty boy.” Arms around me from all sides. Hands and warmth I felt the outside world but I didn’t wake. Panic started to overtake my calm.

In those moments of panic I found myself standing in the barren waste of my mind with another man. Blood dripped from his lips. He wore a pimp hat if I’d ever seen one but I wouldn’t say that to his face. He was a big black man, the shirt he work bulged at the seams and I knew he’d break me in half. There was a sneer across his lips.

“You are strong, boy.”

I blinked at him, trying to figure out why this man was in my dream. Behind him the world shifted and things started to blink and shutter. But he didn’t notice. There was a blip of Dev standing behind him. But then he was gone. I wasn’t sure if I’d seen him.

I walked past the stranger and he growled at me. The world stuttered again, this time the man noticed and yelled, “He’s mine. Begone.”

I turned to look back at the big black man. “I’m not yours.”

“You are worthless boy. Nothing but a piece of gutter trash.”

I smirked at him. I knew he’d been in my head before. No, he wasn’t my demon. My demon… I focused on Dev. He was here. I could feel him. He was lying next to me cradling Drake in his arms and Morana was somewhere else. I didn’t know how I knew that but I did. Sage and Dee were here too. Matt and Fae. My family.

The man growled louder and charged at me. I felt a hand in mine, Dev pulled me away from the charging man. We were in nothingness…

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