Dean Winchester – an idol of mine but he wasn’t real. I knew this was a dream. I knew this man was fake he wasn’t real but here he was standing in front of me – pointing a gun at me. Wait, why? I was about to say something when Dean shouted, “Shut your cakehole, Demon!”

He thought I was a demon? “Wait. I’m not…” And then I remembered the fireball coming from my hand. I could smell the old cigarette smoke on his skin mixed with his cologne. I could see the tiny stubble growing on his chin. What the fuck was going on? I raised my hands and when I looked down at them I half expected to see long fingers with painted nails, but I saw my own hands with nails carefully trimmed.

That was when the smell hit me. It wasn’t burning flesh – sulfur. “Why do I smell sulfur?”

Dean lifted his nose to the wind like a wolf might and whiffed the air. “I can’t smell it.” He pushed the gun at me as he took a step. His two handed grip changed to one as he reached inside his leather jacket and pulled out a flask. This was no time for a drink I was about to say but the contents of the flask were splashed in my face. “I’m no fucking Demon you Idjit.” I grinned at my words. But the look on his face went white and his gun lowered a little but then in a blink it was raised again.

“I don’t know what you are. But you will shut it now or I’ll put a bullet in you.”

There was venom in his voice like none I’d ever seen before. The memory of Bobby was a wound I had just thrown salt into. But Dean didn’t know he was just a character. Well I guess he did, the prophet wrote a book about the Winchester boys. Maybe that’s what he thought I was doing? Close but not quite. But whatever this dream wanted with me I’d play along.

Dean was point a gun at me. He thought I was a monster. I was human. I could just manipulate machines – electronics mostly. But Adam – he could do all sorts of cool things. “I’m not some monster. I don’t know what’s going on here any more than you do.” I said but I took a step back so that if he did try to shoot me I might be able to run.

Dean cleared his throat, “You just threw a fucking fireball.” He pointed in the direction I threw it. “At that demon and it went poof up in smoke.” He turned back to me, “That’s what you did.”

I shook my head. “That wasn’t a demon it was a werewolf.”

“I know what the fuck it was.” He shifted the gun closer to me. “I’m not an idiot. I do this for a living. That sulfur smell you think you smell – that’s a demon.”

“Demon’s can’t be in our world without a body – same as in yours.” I said.

He cocked his head at me, “What are you blathering about worlds? We are in New York City and unless you think you are from some alternate dimension you must have hit your head pretty hard.”

I rubbed the back of my head. I hadn’t fallen. But there was a knot the size of Kansas on it. How? What? I blinked at the halos all returned. Around Dean there was nothing. He didn’t vibrate colors, just nothing. I blinked them away again and frowned. Dean sighed. “You look pretty messed up kid.” He said offering me a hand.

I wanted to say I wasn’t a kid, but I only took his hand and blushed as he yanked me to my feet. I didn’t know when I fell. “What happened I?” I asked. “From your point of view?”

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I opened my eyes and there was a bright light. Not just one, an array of colors – red, green, blue and yellow splayed across my vision. I couldn’t see anything but those lights, those colors. I didn’t know where I was. Sounds started to drift to my ears a whispered giggle, “Mommy, look at the naked man.”

A soft breeze blew through and I felt it across my body and I felt the goose bumps rise all over my skin. Smells grew stronger. I was in a coffee shop – I could smell the fresh ground beans and the sticky sweet residue of the vanilla as a barissta pumped some into someone’s cup.

I was in a coffee shop. I heard a bell jingle and a voice called out, “Welcome to Starbucks.”

I was having that dream again – I was naked in a coffee shop and people were watching me. I couldn’t see anything still just a bunch of colors but the sounds and smells told me where I am. I ran out of the coffee shop – my favorite coffee shop without my laptop or my things. I could hear the jeers and the snickering as I ran. I still couldn’t see.

The next moment I was in Central Park. It was always Central Park, but it wasn’t day anymore, and the night time sky made the lights less. I could see the bench in front of me. But it wasn’t a bench as I knew a bench. It was wrapped in a glow of colors.

Everything was dark, and quiet and I had nothing but this sight, this vision. I looked around and everything had a halo. Even my hand had a halo but it wasn’t like the others. It was there but not there. It changed colors.

I blinked my eyes. I focused on the bench and the halo faded. But when I looked away the blinding colors were back. I focused on the bench again and saw my vision clear. What the fuck?

I switched between that bench and everything else for twenty minutes but it felt like a blink of an eye before I could look at other things without seeing that halo. But the moment that my focus got distracted, like the wolf running out of the tree line straight at me. A wolf?

I should run, but there wasn’t time. I stretched my hand out to make sure it didn’t get my face and when I did the halo’s shifted and a ball of fire shot out of my hand.

The fire raced towards the wolf. And the wolf tried to turn around and run the other way, but everything happened so fast. And soon there was burning flesh and hair and the wolf body turned into a boy – a young boy.

No. No. No. I cried out in my head. I tried to put the fire out. I took off my coat – where the fuck did I get a coat. I looked down at me and I was dressed.

And when I looked back up the wolf/boy on fire was gone and in front of me stood a man in a leather jacket pointing a gun at my head. “What the hell are you?” He said in a gruff voice that made my insides tighten – Dean fucking Winchester.

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It’s Raining

I opened my eyes and I was standing in a green pasture staring at an old gnarled tree. The stars were shining and the sun was out. I’d been here once before. But this time it was raining. I looked up and there were no clouds in the weird sky, but it rained.

Dee was next to me and so was Dev. Nox was curled up in front of the tree and he looked like he was having a panic attack. I glared at Dev. “We were going out.”

Dev smiled at me, “You can go out after you talk to him.”

Now I was not only made at Nox but peeved at Dev for bringing us here without our permission. I was still wondering how that had happened. I hadn’t agreed to it, neither had Dee.

Our conversation passed in flits and sputters like a dream. I woke not really remembering what it was, but I felt damp and drained and Dev was still sleeping. Dee was looking at me and asked, “Why was it raining?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. You ready to go?” I didn’t really remember why I was upset with Dev but I didn’t suggest we wake him up. The only thing I knew was Dev had ticked me off.

Geeking Out

Dee and I went out on a date, just the two of us. It was sweet and fun and we forgot all about our problems. Until we got home to find Dev curled up on the couch watching Supernatural. It was the first season episode 1. Damn they looked young back then. Dev looked up at me. “I’m watching Supernatural, you want to join me?”

Dee groaned and sat down in the recliner with a book. My book, no that was Nox’s book. The City of Bones – book 1 of the Immortal Instruments. I’d just finished it a few days ago. I had the second one up by my bed. They weren’t Nox’s favorite books, but he’d read them so i figured what the hell. And he’d been right it was a good book. I didn’t read as much as he did, but that was starting to change with him always around. But he wasn’t going to be I said to myself you threw him out.

I sighed and Dev sat up and patted the couch next to him. I sat down and he laid down in my lap. His dark hair splayed across my leg and his head laying just right so that he was displaying his neck. I ran my fingers down his neck and a smile spread over his face. He whispered, “Everything will be all right.” So the three of us watched Supernatural until the wee ours of the night.

We were drained, Dev took Dee home. I had suggested they stay but they had work early and didn’t want to wake me. Dev said he had a gig in the Hamptons and had to get out there early to set up. I didn’t think anything of it as I made my way to bed. The house was empty and quiet and it all felt so strange. I sighed as I crawled into my bed with just my boxers on – alone. I laid down and tried to fall asleep but it wasn’t going to happen so I flipped the light on by the side of my bed and picked up my book. I’d read until I fell asleep.

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Work flew by. I was so busy I hadn’t eaten all day and when I smelled food upstairs I stopped and my heart fluttered. Nox was home. And then I remembered he wasn’t. But by the time I had remembered that I was upstairs already. Dee was cooking at my stove like Nox used to do. I sighed and she turned around to look at me. “I figured with Nox gone, I could cook for you.”

I kissed her. “Why don’t we go out?”

Dee smiled. “See, this is why I love you. Of all our boys, you are the practical one.” She kissed me longer and harder than I had kissed her. Her tongue sliding past my lips until our tongues danced with each other.

Dee asked, “Where are the boys?”

I glanced at the clock on the wall and frowned, “They aren’t home?” That’s when the memory of Ant shadow walking into my basement jumped out at me. “Fuck!” I sighed. “They went with Ant.”

Dee looked at me, “So we are alone?”

There was a third voice in the hall, “Well not completely alone.”

Dee shrieked and ran towards the door and draped her arms around Dev’s neck. Their kiss was as hot and wet as ours had been and I was getting more than turned on by watching them. I could feel the heat creeping up my neck and cheeks but I didn’t stop watching. I loved watching my lovers together. It was the reason I had more than one now. Nox had changed my world and I had told him I was done. But everyone was acting like nothing had changed.

Dev came around with Dee under his arm and he pressed a soft kiss to my lips. A shiver went through my body and it took all the power I could muster not to grab him and take them both upstairs.

Dev broke the kiss and smirked at me. Fuck! He heard.

My face grew hotter and Dev chuckled. “You are too cute.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I have a favor to ask you both. I want to try something, we all need to talk and Nox is away and…”

Before Dev could say anymore Dee was pulling away. “He walked out, Dev. He doesn’t want to be here with us.”

Dev sighed. “Yes he does. He just needs to find what’s missing. He’s not like me and you and Sage. He lived an exciting life before this. Now he does chores and cooks and lives a mundane life.”

“We aren’t enough for him.” I said.

Dev shook his head. “We are. But Sage, tell me this. If you had to stop touching a computer for the rest of your life would you be happy?”

I knew the answer was no, I’d be miserable, but that wasn’t what came out of my mouth, “It’s not the same. And a computer isn’t dangerous.”

Dev laughed, “In your hands it is.” He sighed. “We have to let him to do this. Please come with me.”

There was a singular thought in my head when I sat down on the couch with those two and it had nothing to do with what we were talking about. I just wanted to sleep. And the moment I sat down my body got heavy, my eyes closes and I drifted to sleep with such ease I must have been exhausted.

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