I don’t know what sent my mind into a panic attack more, the fact that Kai Viddens was my father, or the fact that I had the highest grade of all the Venatori and I was only half Venatori. I could do something about one, but not the other so to get past the attack currently trying take seed in my body I focused on the numbers.
Funny thing about school was it was hard for me in most things, but math and sciences and the supernatural I excelled out. There were patterns and puzzles. And while the Venatori thought my gift was a joke, it came in all sorts of handy after I mastered it. It really shouldn’t have been a surprise when I was 10 that I was Cesari. I’d been complaining for months before that about the lights in my vision. Dorian had my eyes looked at by both human and Venatori doctors and I was a-okay in all departments. I even had a brain scan and blood drawn just to make sure nothing was really out of the ordinary short of the usual half human half supernatural race of once upon a time immortal beings.
The lights turned out to be the patterns of things, the things I’d later use to create and manipulate the elements. But no one saw the world like I did – they hadn’t in the past and it was foreign to them. So when it came to math I saw the patterns in the numbers. Same with the sciences and all supernatural things had patterns you just had to know how to recognize them.
It didn’t take much for me to figure out that I could drop to the third highest grade point average by not finishing most of my finals. So that was what I planned on doing. I didn’t want to give a speech. Not only would standing up in front of people be annoying, but those people would boo and sneer at me. There was not a single ounce of respect for my Minorem self among the Venatori. There were only two people who actually gave two fucks about me. Maybe a third. But all Dae’lin really cared about was that her only mentor was top of his class. I’d give her that for a few moments, but I wasn’t going to give a speech.
I had a few finals today, and one tomorrow before the Ad Aetatem started. There was only one test I wasn’t willing to fail and that was my Magnus test. Dorian had scheduled it for late in the day and I had my alarm set to go off ten minutes before so I’d be there on time. Even if that meant leaving a final unfinished.
But that was kinda the plan now.
I handed in my two articles and got a frown from Mr. Grey. “Nox, you could have found three in your sleep.”
I just shrugged and handed him the paper.
And when I sat down in my next final I glanced through all the questions and new I could ace it in a heart beat. The pattern of what I needed to drop my grade was easily calculated and I answered the first three on my answer sheet, wrote my name, but I worked every problem on the sheet and wrote the answer down. I felt better about it. I didn’t leave things undone. It was part of my problem, Margo said. Perfectionism in everything sometimes caused me problems. But it was either be perfect or give a speech. And the panic attack that started to rise in my chest was the reason why perfectionism was going to give way. I couldn’t do both.
Ms. Hall wasn’t happen when I handed her my papers before the bell rang to finish it with only three answered. She looked at me with a deep frown etched into her eyebrows and I grinned at her. She looked down at the rest of the paper and back up at me, “You did it all, why aren’t you…” She trailed off and cocked her head at me, “What are you playing at boy?”
The remainder of my finals went exactly like that until my alarm went off and I was heading my way to the testing rooms where I would meet Dorian for my final test in the Academy as Magnus.