So Dee is this big social person, whodathunk that? We have this great big place now and Dee says we have to throw a housewarming party. And she and Sage both agree we have to throw a New Year’s Eve party, all our friends and family are invited. So why the fuck don’t we combine them. I know I groaned at the idea. Dev was the first one to jump on the party bandwagon said he’d and the boys would play for free. But we had to hire a DJ so they could enjoy the night too. But he wanted to play with the band too.
Dee and Sage agreed. They said I couldn’t cook. Which sucked for me. They said if I cooked I’d never leave the kitchen and they wanted to have a good time too. Something about deserving it. I just shrugged. Whatever. I didn’t really care.
We didn’t need presents. That was one of the reasons why we were doing it on New Years Eve too. We didn’t want the traditional things. We wanted to have fun.
And that’s what was about to happen. I managed to get Fae in something other than a pair of ripped jeans. Both he and Matt had fun rummaging through my closet. Matt was wearing a pair of my leather pants and a sheer shirt. If he’d been going out I wouldn’t have let him out of the house, but he wasn’t leaving so I was okay with it. Granted I was wearing worse when I was his age.
Fae was wearing a pair of my jeans a button down from his own closet. Drake was all cute in his blue overalls and a red Lightning McQueen t-shirt. His favorite show – Thank you Dorian. I’m partial to Mater myself!
Sage made me change three times before he was satisfied with my clothes. Apparently jeans and a t-shirt were not party worthy. I changed into club gear and Dee groaned at it and said go change. I had sighed. Nothing I was going to choose was going to fit either one of them, so I asked Dev.
He grinned at me while I lead him into my bedroom closet in our shared room – we each had walk in closets in our shared room. Mine was sparse. Dev hadn’t commented on it. But he shook his head. He handed me a pair of black jeans and went into his closet and handed me a black t-shirt that I knew was too small on him. It was black with glittery threads woven in. It sparkled under the black lights of Aspect. It was one of his uniform shirts.
I sighed and put them on. The shirt was tight. And I felt uncomfortable. Not because it fit so close but because there was no barrier between people and my back. Dev stood behind me and wrapped his arms around me pressing his cheek into my shoulder. “You can do it Nox. There is nothing to be ashamed of.”
I shook my head and unfurled him from me. “You know I was never ashamed of my scars.”
Dev smiled at me with those sad blue eyes. He wasn’t mad at me. I didn’t think. But there was a small twinge of pity and Dev sighed. “I don’t pity you Nox. Tell me why you are anxious then.”
“You can see it, Dev.”
He shook his head. “All I see is anxiety.”
“Someone will touch me, Dev. Accidently, on purpose, it doesn’t matter, someone will. I feel the panic attack right now. What happens when they do it for real?” I begged.
“No one here is going to touch you without your permission.” Dev said with frustration. “We can all touch you without a problem. The boys can. What’s the problem it’s all close family and friends.”
“Until it’s not.” I said.
“Nox, you can do this.” Dev said. “We’ll help you.”
“Why the fuck can’t i just wear a long sleeved shirt?” I growled.
Dev sighed and tossed a black shirt from my closet at me. “You don’t need to hide Nox.” He said and walked out.
I closed my eyes and I wanted to hit something. Dev probably wanted to hit something. It was best we just cooled down first.